Nobody Minds Shootings
The lamestream media told you:
Nothing.
The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:
More than 26,000 people gathered at the world-class 1,600-acre Ben Avery Shooting Facility in Phoenix last month, for a family-oriented outdoor expo, and despite constant volleys of gunfire, no one fainted or was scared, no crimes were reported, no one was injured, and no deaths occurred. Lamestream media missed the event.
Crowds were biggest at the machine-gun range, where a small fee got you trigger time on a belt-fed tripod-mounted .30 caliber, hand-cranked authentic replica Gatling gun, and a shoulder fired AK-47, proving the long-known adage that you haven’t had fun till you’ve fired a machine gun. The lamestream media missed the event.
Well-dressed suburban soccer-Mom types strained to get photos of their precious little daughters learning to shoot a bolt-action .22 for the first time, under the watchful eye of well-trained professional instructors. Every type of upscale, downscale, fat, thin, tall, short, attractive, ugly, neat, unkempt, very young, young, old, very old, bright, dull, average, male, female and other type of person plunked down nominal fees to fire cowboy guns, high-power rifles, shotguns, scoped rifles, handguns, practical pistol, and new models from famous American firms like Ruger and Smith and Wesson. Many of the shooting opportunities were free. The lamestream media missed the event.
More than 100 vendors were hawking goods and services, closing sales and making new friends over the distant roar of constant gunfire. No injuries of any kind were reported. No guns went off by themselves. No crimes were committed. The lamestream media missed the event.
In other news, shooting sports outpaced golf in 2006 to capture the number two spot in consumer spending on sports equipment, second only to exercise gear. The lamestream media apparently didn’t get the memo.
| More from Alan Korwin
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