How Bobby’s Girl refutes radical feminism
Back in the 1970s, there was a song I especially liked listening to when it played on an oldies station. At the time, I considered myself a feminist but knew this song would be anathema to most feminists. I couldn’t help liking it anyway and I still like it.
The song is “Bobby’s Girl†which was first recorded in 1962 by Marcie Blane and became an instant hit. It begins with male background voices saying, “You’re not a kid anymore.†Then the primary female singer says, “When people ask of me/What would you like to be/Now that you’re not a kid anymore.â€
People asking that question undoubtedly expect the answerer to reply in terms of an occupation. Since this was 1962, they were likely to expect a young woman to answer with an occupation typically filled by females such as teacher, nurse, secretary, librarian, and other such woman-dominated fields. However, less traditional occupations were in fact open to women so she would not have shocked had she said scientist, attorney, doctor, or something similar.
The narrator of “Bobby’s Girl†does surprise – for her ambition is not an occupation but a relationship: “There’s just one thing I’ve been wishing for/I want to be Bobby’s girl/I want to be Bobby’s girl/That’s the most important thing to me.â€
Written about a decade before the second wave of the women’s movement broke, “Bobby’s Girl†refutes the ideology that sees men and women as enemies in a bitter struggle. The narrator craves a close relationship with a man. It is what she dreams of and what she considers most vital. A romantic relationship with the man to whom she is attracted is above a career or job in her list of priorities.
Unfortunately, she may be thwarted in reaching her goal by an adherence to a tradition of feminine passivity: “Each night I sit at home/Hoping that he will phone.†It does not appear to occur to her that SHE could phone HIM. Indeed, there is no reason at all she could not or should not pick up that wonderful invention of Alexander Graham Bell’s and dial Bobby’s number. Women who do this are well advised not to be stridently aggressive or overtly sexual but simply making a phone call with polite inquiries might be welcomed. Heck, we can even ask the guy out and say, “My treat.†Men are individuals and as many are likely to be flattered as turned off.
The next line in this usually sweet song is rather disturbing: “But I know Bobby has someone else.†Our narrator has her heart set on a relationship with someone who is already in a relationship. This is an ethical minefield to which she appears oddly indifferent. She seems to have made her ambition dependent on the destruction of Bobby’s relationship and that of another woman with him: “Still in my heart I pray/There soon will come the day/That I will have him all to myself.â€
Nevertheless, she has a clear vision of what attributes would keep a relationship with Bobby going if it ever gets started: “If I was Bobby’s girl/What a faithful thankful girl I’d be.†These twin pillars – fidelity and gratitude – form the foundation for many solid romances.
Ultimately, “Bobby’s Girl†is valuable because it is about the perennial truth that for many if not the vast majority of women, intimate relationships with men will always be central to their lives. Radical feminists may dislike this truth but it is at the core of the human experience.
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May 6th, 2008 at 9:10 am
actually, more telling is if you looked at the focus of the top songs over the years. after the sixties it was all narcisistic and rescue me, and really unhealthy stuff… prior to that, was the “tiny little love songs” that we all love but dont hear any more.
in your case, its bobbies girl. and you wish you were bobbies girl..
but you can find tons of others too from that same era.
my boyfrinds back is one..
and the one that goes..
i love him, i love him, and where he goes i follow i follow..
even carol king sang that way…
where you lead, i will follow, anywhere, that you tell me to, if you need for me to be with you i will follow, where you lead…
but then you get to the socialist rifts of 10k maniacs…
and the same behavior is described as a “happy puppet”, or worse the nihilst hit by evervescance in which some person screams to be saved from their own mental dungeons…
a more refined version of another brick in the wall…
when god died, love did too… or havent you noticed?
May 6th, 2008 at 9:39 am
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3huz_ET4iuc
here is the song with the complete lyrics including the talking lines.
oh… you find a part disturbing…
i find it intersting that you do…
the reason you find it disturbing is that you ahve taken in, whithout realizing it the concept that all men are just not worth fighting for.
she knows that not all men are equal to all other men, and for some reason, bobby is it. back then, bobby was it more likely for being a good prospect.
and good prospects and mates are not easy to find. they are worth somethign.
today we dont think so, and we have the relationshisp to prove it.
but then, she wanted to be the girl of a guy that had a future, and if bobby had that future, and she liked him othewise, then he was the bette choice.
later in the song, she says what she is offering FIRST.
she is offering loyalty… faithfulness…
and that hers is better than the other girls, and so she is a better choice of a partner.
wahts more telling is to look at the year that that song came out.. and was a hit..
1962… just before the communist revolution… that brought misery to women… and men..
MARCIA BLANK, grew up in Brooklyn, New York with her parents Ernest and Muriel, older sister Janet, and younger brother and sister, Carl and Sandra.
Pa Blank earned his living as a professional musician and music teacher. He had been working as a pianist in the Catskills when he first met and fell in love with 16-year-old Muriel Shalit, whose parents would only consent to their daughter’s marriage on the understanding that Ernest graduated from college first. Sure enough, after gaining a degree in music education at NYU, the couple were wed.
so her song takes for granted waht you dont. that bobbie was the kind of guy worth wanting!!
in June 1962, that Marcie was asked by a songwriter friend to record a demo of some of his compositions. “It wasn’t supposed to lead to anything,” she recalled many years later. “I was just doing someone a favour. I was only supposed to go in and cut the demo and leave.” When Marv Holtzman, A & R man at Seville Records, heard the demo discs, it wasn’t the songs that impressed him, but the singer. “The fellow at the record company liked me and offered me a contract. How could I say no to that? I don’t think I ever gave it much thought. The first song they came up with was “Bobby’s Girl”. That was the first recording session.” One minute she was schoolgirl Marcia Blank, the next she was Seville recording artist MARCIE BLANE, about to embark on a showbiz career. But for the time being, life went on as before, “I went away to camp that summer to be a counsellor. No one at school even knew I had recorded that.”
Written by Hank Hoffman and Gary Klein, Marcie Blane’s “Bobby’s Girl” was soon on sale. With its spoken introduction and “You’re not a kid anymore” backing refrain, the disc struck a chord with teenage Americans almost immediately, entering the charts in mid-October and rocketing into the Top 10 within a month. By December it was at #3 on the Billboard Hot 100, a position it maintained for four weeks. Only the 4 Seasons’ “Big Girls Don’t Cry” and Elvis Presley’s “Return To Sender” held it from the top spot. Over on the Cash Box chart, “Bobby’s Girl” was even bigger news, peaking at #2 during an impressive 19-week run, nine of those spent in the Top 10. The 18-year-old was the best-selling female singer in the land.
what was her next hit?
“What Does A Girl Do”.
a song about having sex… the new quandry of the sexual revolution starting..
note that in the lyrics one of her reasons NOT to have sex is that her dad is waiting home.
she then came out with
“Little Miss Fool”
“You Gave My Number To Billy”
“Why Can’t I Get A Guy”
which all failed to catch on… the culture wasnt ready yet for that message for another 4 years or so.
then came out Bobbie Did
was she really singing about Bobbi Darin?
anyway.. within 10 years time the songs cahnged..
then came songs like janis ians… seventeen…1975
Love was dead, feminisms changes happened and many women had to sit and ponder what they wanted. no longer could they be bobbies girl… the men were too busy chasing the few the pretty and there was little chance, like todays hookup crowd, that faitfulness would again win over hooters.
At Seventeen lyrics
I learned the truth at seventeen
That love was meant for beauty queens
And high school girls with clear skinned smiles
Who married young and then retired
The valentines I never knew
The Friday night charades of youth
Were spent on one more beautiful
At seventeen I learned the truth
And those of us with ravaged faces
Lacking in the social graces
Desperately remained at home
Inventing lovers on the phone
Who called to say – come dance with me
And murmured vague obscenities
It isn’t all it seems at seventeen
A brown eyed girl in hand me downs
Whose name I never could pronounce
Said-pity please the ones who serve
They only get what they deserve
The rich relationed hometown queen
Marries into what she needs
With a guarantee of company
And haven for the elderly
Remember those who win the game
Lose the love they sought to gain
In debentures of quality and dubious integrity
Their small town eyes will gape at you
In dull surprise when payment due
Exceeds accounts received at seventeen
To those of us who knew the pain
Of valentines that never came
And those whose names were never called
When choosing sides for basketball
It was long ago and far away
The world was younger than today
When dreams were all they gave for free
To ugly duckling girls like me
We all play the game, and when we dare
To cheat ourselves at solitaire
Inventing lovers on the phone
Repenting other lives unknown
Who call and say – come dance with me
And murmur vague obsceneties
To ugly girls like me, at seventeen.
these became the bitter women that filled the ranks of feminism, all believing that a bit mroe slut feminisma nd everyone will have the comfort of a warm body.
but in truth, sinve feminsm, fewer have had companions an love than at any other time in human history…
May 6th, 2008 at 9:40 am
you can hear her here
Janis Ian – At Seventeen
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=efHOIT1ROk8
May 6th, 2008 at 9:29 pm
So her input to the ‘relationship’ is faithfulness and thankfulness. That’s it? No doubt, as pointed out, Bobby would be expected to input that too and a great deal more.
Yep, I guess that was appealing to the teeny-boppers. The girl ones at any rate. But it was hardly surprising that Bobby had found someone who might just offer something more equal to his efforts. As you point out, this warbling mess of moral fracture-lines with cradle marks still on her bum can’t even use a friggin’ telephone.
Maybe if she offered to pay the mortgage she would have got Bobby, even if she didn’t get a hit record. Still, like pretty well every girl of that era, she dropped the ball, and instead of refuting “the ideology that sees men and women as enemies in a bitter struggle”, she opened Bobby’s eyes to his doom should he buy the old paradigm.
May 7th, 2008 at 5:01 am
amfortas said,
So her input to the ‘relationship’ is faithfulness and thankfulness. That’s it? No doubt, as pointed out, Bobby would be expected to input that too and a great deal more.
(Denise) For humans of either sex, faithfulness is a discipline. It does not come naturally to either men or women. However, jealousy DOES come naturally to both sexes which is why women and men both tend to appreciate a partner’s fidelity. Gratitude can lead to a plethora of helpful actions in wanting to please a partner.
May 9th, 2008 at 3:37 am
Sure, Denise. A gainsaid. But Bobby had to put up for the mortgage too eventually, and right then as a late teen a car at least. Not to mention numerous dinners and flowers and of course the obligatory diamond ring.
So they will both appreciate one another’s fidelity but Bobby will have all the obligations to look forward to. And he will not only have to contain his own jealousies, but hers too, as she is going to be jealous of the woman down the street with the new kitchen.
I didn’t hear him singing about being Marcie’s boy “When people ask of me/What would you like to be/Now that you’re not a kid anymore.†No siree. If he’d answered that way the whole job issue you mentioned would have been first on his priority list, otherwise he’d have no chance at all with her. He’d have got the shove.
Ah, those were the days. (Sigh). Thank the Lord that Bobby has woken up. While they weren’t enemies back then, one was nonetheless a slave and the other Slave Mistress. But ten years later Bobby’s girl blew it by wanting more and junking fidelity altogether as ‘opressive’.
May 9th, 2008 at 11:56 pm
“Feminism is the intellectual organization of gender hatred, just as Marxism was the intellectual organization of class hatred. Feminism’s business is fashioning weapons to be used against men in society, education, politics, law and divorce court. The feminist aim is to overthrow “patriarchal tyranny.” In this undertaking, the male’s civil rights count for no more than those of the bourgeoisie in Soviet Russia or the Jews in National Socialist Germany.” — What civil rights has wrought. Paul Craig Roberts, July 26, 2000. Townhall.com – Creators Syndicate.