Why did Obama bash dads on Father’s Day?
Why is it that every single holiday is turned into a way to bash fathers and men? With Valentine’s Day, a day to celebrate the love of men and women comes the Vagina Monologues—a twist on the V-day promoting awareness how men are abusive to women. On previous Mother’s Days in Berkshire County of Massachusetts, men had signed pledges not to beat the living daylights out of their significant others and the pledge list was put in the local newspaper.
So what do you do for fathers on Father’s Day? We find yet another way to bash men and fathers rather than celebrate them. We praise single mothers—divorcees and those that had children out of wedlock—as somehow having the virtues of the Virgin Mary, and decry single fathers as the spawn of Satan. It is a dichotomy of good and evil with one gender representing all that is good, and one representing all that is bad. Morally simplistic views of the universe seldom are true.
In full disclosure, I am a Barack Obama supporter, and worked and donated on his campaign. I plan to continue. So the words that emanate are not from his bitter enemy. Barack Obama had the tastelessness to make Father’s Day anything but a celebration of fatherhood, but rather a barrage on the irresponsibility of black fathers. The press ate it up. The headlines for U.S World News Report were “Obama Calls On Black Men To Be Better Fathers.†The Age from Australia headlined, “Black fathers missing from too many lives: Obama.†The Washington Post article was “Obama Discusses Duties of Fatherhood.†The ABC headline was “Obama Tells Black Dads: Have the Courage to Be a Father.†ABC called it a political attempt to be the “centrist voice of moral authority.†Bill Cosby move over.
It is impossible to imagine a story on Mother’s Day, “Black mothers need to be more responsible.†It might be more appropriate. The number one reason men are not involved in the lives of their children is a court system that literally makes fathering impossible, and the mothers that use that court system to keep fathers out of the lives of children. It is doubtful that Obama even has ever heard of the term “father’s rights†let alone use it, though he spoke without end about saintly virtues of single mothers and the men they have to put up with.
When John McCain was confronted with a question in Iowa about the issue he answered the question from a black person saying that he “would not touch that tar baby.†CNN was obsessed with his use of the racist term, not the substantive response to his question which was strongly pro-court and anti-father. Big media does not care about father’s rights, though it should. It was apparent that having thought little about the issue would not prevent McCain from desisting from attempting to answer the question. The tar baby comment was gaffe; his insensitivity to the plight of fathers was not.
In Massachusetts, when a public policy question was put on the ballot in 2004, it was found that 87% of the public supported shared parenting, a rebuttable presumption that there should be joint physical and legal custody. The presumption may be rebutted by evidence that one of the parents is unfit or that it is unworkable through no fault of the parents.
It is doubtful that Obama’s speech will sway a single father to be active in a child’s life. Despite his “just words†speech which was inspired by Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick, they really are just words. Such get-your-act together rhetoric often does not reach the targeted audience, and when it does, it almost never has an impact. To the extent that fathers are not involved in their children’s life by choice, the psychological reasons are complex. Their ex may have called 911 on them once too often, they cannot approach their children without being screamed at by mom, the mother constantly frustrates visitation plans, or a court ordered them to pay some fantastic amount of child support that they could not pay. Many got the boot when mom wanted to get on the welfare rolls. While it is certainly not the moral thing to do, many want to “move on.â€
But most fathers that do not spend with their children literally cannot legally spend time with them by court order. As a man that has been in the father’s rights movement just shy of a decade now, Obama’s words were not only highly offensive, but they overlooked the obvious truth. Before government tries to make an unwilling father be a father to his children, the government ought to let willing fathers be fathers to their children. The former is an immensely difficult task and concerns far fewer numbers. The latter is simply a matter of passing legislation and concerns the great majority of absent fathers.
Obama once said, “We need to see what we can to make sure that fathers are valued, that our policies are encouraging them to be part of their children’s lives, that they are lifted up as important in stitching back together the kind of strong communities that we need for children to thrive.” That was the candidate that I supported.
Rinaldo Del Gallo, III
The author is spokes person of the Berkshire Fatherhood Coalition and a practicing family law attorney.
About Rinaldo Del Gallo Rinaldo Del Gallo, III, Esq. is the spokesperson of the Berkshire Fatherhood Coalition, whose website is BerkshireFatherhood.com. He has been practicing family law attorney and has been a member of the Massachusetts bar since 1996. Mr. Del Gallo has handled a wide variety of family law cases including issues of child custody, child visitation, child support, restraining orders, grandparent visitation, contempt of family court, access to academic records, guardianship, allegations of abuse, criminal allegations related to domestic violence, disputes over the care of a child, and care and protection proceedings before the Department of Social Services. For years, he has hosted bi-monthly free legal seminars for people of any gender having problems in family court. On behalf of non-custodial parents, he has had made numerous media appearances in printed news, radio, and television. He has authored numerous family law related articles and columns. He has performed extensive bro bono work for fathers. Attorney Del Gallo also has extensive experience as a civil rights attorney, working in the areas of free speech rights and ballot access. Mr. Del Gallo is also an intellectual property attorney and a patent lawyer, and has written what is regarded as one of the most famous law reviews in the area of patent law, “Are Methods of Doing Business Finally Out of Business As A Statutory Exception?,†that helped end the so-called “business method exception,†which paved the way for an entire field of software and Internet related patents. Attorney Del Gallo graduated from Northeastern University (Boston) with a Bachelor of Science degree in Electrical Engineering, and graduated from George Washington University (Washington) in the top of his three-year class. | More from Rinaldo Del Gallo, III
Stumble It!
June 20th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
RDG
A female columnist makes a similar point as you
http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/opinion/oped/bal-op.parker20jun20,0,4135931.story
PS One of your columns was published in the same newspaper earlier
June 20th, 2008 at 1:58 pm
[...] not everyone was happy with Obama’s brave words. Here is a thoughtful criticism of Obama, by an Obama supporter and men’s rights activist. Read | [...]
June 20th, 2008 at 9:19 pm
The reason why politicians treat men and fathers as fifth class citizens and the media ignores injustices against men and fathers, is that people like you vote for people like Obama.
You have no one to blame but yourselves. You are the ones
proping up the system that oppresses you.
June 21st, 2008 at 4:06 am
He’s trying to capture Hillary’s following. He’s a Democrat, so he’s not interested in votes from men anyway – he’ll get the dumbest of them. Of course, when the polls start showing that the majority of men are not interested in voting for Democrats, they’ll pretend that it’s positive news – they’re ranks are filled with a greater number of women. Feminists will be all over the MSM, claiming it means that there is something wrong with the grumpy old Republican men; thus assuring that they will get the dumb male vote as well (fewer males than Republicans).
The only reason that such a strategy can work for a political party is that they’re fishing for the stupid ones to begin with. They’ll pile on a whole range of stupid ideas, that don’t hold up to reality check when you’re looking into the basis of them – like Al Gore’s global warming scare, the idea that he can talk terrorists out of being terrorists, etc.
June 21st, 2008 at 4:08 am
Before government tries to make an unwilling father be a father to his children, the government ought to let willing fathers be fathers to their children.
Excellent line. But we could have only 1 willingly absent father and 1 million unwillingly absent fathers, yet McCain and especially Obama would only speak of the 1.
Why?
My belief is that it’s because both parties are beholding to the divorce industry, starting with the ABA, and Democrats in particular stand for nothing if not for maximizing dependence on government. Replacing fatherhood with government is a very effective way to grow that dependence.
Then there are American women, a large segment of whom have become so pathetic with entitlement that they can’t stand the truth, and would never vote for somebody who spoke it. Just yesterday I watched as a woman gaudily bashed her husband in public for several minutes, while he just took it. Finally, he offered a quip in retort, to which she responded with punitive bashing and claims of abuse. Sad and pathetic as she is, Obama will readily pander to her and her ilk. Besides, it’s the party line.
June 21st, 2008 at 4:35 am
Why does Obama say that? Its from the song-book. It’s the same song sang by every lazy, intellectual-vacuum politician across the western world. The space between the ears and their heart is filled to overflowing with hypocricy.
If the people here, regular readers and contributors to MND, no mere conspiracy nuts and 10th grade readers can see what is plain as their noses, one is left with only too alternative options for Politicians. They are either thik and stupid, blind and idle, or they are the conspirators, joined in a concerted effort to dismantle the family and dispossess men of their rights and wealth and influence.
Ok, both.
June 21st, 2008 at 4:38 am
Friggin’ Typos ! No edit function. My apologies.
June 21st, 2008 at 9:10 am
Obama is desperately trying to get Hilliary’s base of Boomer and Feminist Women to support his run for President. He is dissing Men to pander to them. And at the rate he is going, will insure a McCain Presidency. It is a formula for disaster. He should instead take an even handed approach. As Democratic Women in the end will vote more likely for a Democratic Candidate. And White Men are the second largest Voting block.
Once elected he will do as he wishes. Once in Power he will pursue an agenda based on his political and idealogical beliefs. His task is to get elected. He won the nomination now he must win the election. Catering to te FemBots will not get the Men’s vote.
June 21st, 2008 at 2:27 pm
Well Obama is a democrat, nough said. they always pander to feminist and the left. They, politicians, disrespect fathers, because not one of them has lost his cushy little job for doing it!
If fathers and mens stand up united and say We will either vote for any politician who votes for rights for fathers and men and will vote against any politician who votes against fathers and men. Soon they will be pandering to us, ie fathers and men!
So, they ,politicians don’t fear disrespecting us, once they can loose those cushy little jobs and end up out of office in shame, they will stop doing it.
Oh, we will have to do this in mass, we will have to out vote, out finance and out shout, the feminist, the liberals and the other sacred cow groups who think they should have rights that come at our expense. Once word deadbeatbecomes he “D” word and a politician dare not use it , then that will be something!
You will see change come, So Obamie, if change is what you are after, look no further than your local father/mens rights group, because brother change is what we are after! And we will get it!
June 21st, 2008 at 5:20 pm
Why? Because men in this country don’t fight for their common interests. Women look out for themselves and each other and men don’t.
Blame feminism all you want, but feminists are going to walk all over men so long as men allow them to.
June 21st, 2008 at 8:14 pm
lieweary (10)
You told the sad truth, even though many men are unviling to accept the reality. We will continue our bravado plans, blamed by other men for being timid, but after 30 some years of ignoring reality, we have had our Wateerloo
Here is one issue men ignored, Title IX of Education Amendments of 1972. Cohen vs Brown Univ. “proportionality” ruling has cut men’s collegiate sports to the bone. Also, a female coach reportedly accepted $9 million settlement of nearly $20 million award for Title IX violation.
http://www.usatoday.com/sports/college/womensbasketball/wac/2008-06-18-fresno-state-suit_N.htm
June 23rd, 2008 at 8:39 am
It’s simple if men Don’t fight for the their rights…they deserve none.
June 23rd, 2008 at 11:51 am
Not-for-profit feminist organization flush with cash – revenue of $1b last year.
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB121417762585295459.html?mod=hpp_us_pageone
No word if women are required by law to seek permission from fathers.
June 23rd, 2008 at 4:21 pm
Minorities loves their victims status. They receives privileges. The term victim is often used and designed to persuade us that if you are black or woman or gay or whatever suit you, supposedly, it as to be redressed. So, Obama won’t talk about blacks to force you to believe that discrimination still is an issue in that minority (he wants to be elected, of course), unstead he is playing the women’s card…
In France, women and arabs loves their victims status ! Even knowing that one day they probably will enjoy it more under theirs burkas… (just kidding)
As long as the so called minorities gains from lies…they will continues to do so !
patschef
http://masculinisme.blog-city.com/
June 23rd, 2008 at 6:31 pm
Men need to realize that they are the minority, with both fewer votes and fewer rights.
June 24th, 2008 at 11:58 am
I discovered I had no rights when the government took my son, 18 years of income, my property, and certain liberties, though I was legally innocent.