Facing Reality on Domestic Violence

The very high profile case of Fort Lauderdale police Chief Frank Adderley whose wife Eleanor Leisa Adderly shot at him, missed him by inches while he lay in bed, and then continued to fire at him while he fled the house provides South Florida and the nation with a unique opportunity to face squarely three realities regarding Domestic Violence

First, we must overcome our gender based stereotypes that men always are the perpetrators and women the eternal victims. While many similar individual cases could be cited — including the woman who shot her husband in the back with a shotgun while he slept in bed to the wife who ran over her husband multiple times in her Mercedes –what is important for social policy are not individual cases but rather the findings of social science research. The empirical research reality is that decades of sound studies reveal that men and women initiate Domestic Violence at about equal rates with the most recent studies suggesting an increase in the initiation rates for Domestic Violence by girls and women. Further, about 40% of the physically harmed victims of Domestic Violence are men. Summaries of and the sources for this research can be found at: www.mediaradar.org.

Second, once we have overcome our stereotypes we must face a second reality that existing Domestic Violence programs, from the local to the federal, virtually never serve boys over the age of twelve and men (such as Chief Adderley) who unambiguously are victims of Domestic Violence.

Finally, two items about this particular case are noteworthy because they mirror national trends. First women tend to get diagnosed and released. Critically, can you imagine a man who engaged in exactly the same behavior as Eleanor Adderley being diagnosed and released? Second, whether perpetrator or victim and whether in Domestic Violence or in Divorce, women virtually always get the house.

Sadly, when it comes to gender, the words “Equal Justice Under Law” engraved above the entrance to the U.S. Supreme Court only rarely reach ground in real life.

Domestic Violence always is tragic not only for the parties involved but also for society as a whole. Even more tragic in the face of the nation’s economic downturn is the fact that our government has wasted billions of taxpayer dollars on failed Domestic Violence programs which are based on false feminist ideology and stand in direct opposition to empirical research reality. Not only do taxpayer supported programs such as The Violence Against Women Act fail to provide services for all victims who need them – including boys and men – but because the existing Domestic Violence programs are ideologically based, rather than social science based, they fail to provide the much needed social and psychological services that genuinely would help all victims of Domestic Violence – both female and male.

The national implications of Chief Adderley’s case are that we must forgo our gender based stereotypes, face squarely the empirical research reality of Domestic Violence, and completely revise Domestic Violence policy and law.

Gordon E. Finley, Ph.D. is Professor of Psychology at Florida International University in Miami

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  • http://www.standyourground.com/forums poiuyt

    Ahem…

    When two brothers in a home come to blows, is it termed domestic violence ? NO

    When two sisters in a home come to blows, is it termed domestric violence ? NO

    When sisters and brothers at home come to blows, is it termed domestic violence ? NO

    When two lesbians in a home come to blows, is it termed domestic violence ? NO

    When two gay guys in a home come to blows, is it termed domestic violence ? NO

    When males at home receivie blows from females, is it termed domestic violence ? NO

    … So what is domestic violence ?

    Domestic violence is a politicaly defined set of behaviours, selected only of males in relationships between the sexes, wherein any conflict, can legitimately lead to the forcible transfere of resources, from men to women. In a society of legal, political, economic and social equals, only personal conflict exists. Domestic violence does not exist, neither as a physical phenomena nor as a politico-legal recognition justifying theft.

  • roger

    You left one out;

    When a mother abuses or even murders her child, is it termed domestic violence? NO.

    But it should be.

  • amfortas

    Which level of reality do we have to face? For ‘levels’ there are.

    It is clear that the gebder-war ‘symptoms’ are high in the minds of all who gather the instances of female abuse against men and the inaction by Courts. Indeed, for many years now MND and various other organs of communication have focused attention on the double-standards, the egregious treatment by law enforcement, the laws themselves and the billions of dollars ‘wasted’, misappropriated and applied to the devastation of men and the hubristic glorification of women.

    Further instances of family destruction have been commented upon and discussed and condemned, to little avail. Our Institutions are in tatters; our Principles of Law have been abandoned; the relations between men and women are the worst in history; society is as dysfunctional as a decrepit inner-city hell-hole populated by drug purveyors, thieves and murderers.

    We can see our civilisation as a medical practitioner would see a patient. We catalogue the symptoms; we seek to treat them. But we are as in a hospital ten thousand miles from even a clean sheet or clean water with only leeches in abundance.

    Our societies, from the Great USA, the carrier of Western Enlightenment, to Great Britain which is almost cadaverous in its decline, to Australia which even in the full flush of youth is riddled with the Pox, to Canada where the staid, elderly, steadiness of its national character has given way to Alzheimers, to New Zealand where the Long White Cloud has turned into a choking smog of smugness and hypocricy, to all the ends of the ‘developed’ European world with it’s superb richness of culture and achievement capped with externalised genocide turned now upon itself – all are infected with an illness which is destroying its future generational capacity, and are in decline. We do not reproduce to replace ourselves. We murder those on the way and still developing in the womb.

    All symptoms.

    Below the symptom level is a spiritual sickness. A Virus that has infested and infected the world, worse than Plague, worse than epidemic flu, an illness of spirit that causes all the symptoms we speak of and expresses itself in Death. Not just individual people’s death, but mankind’s death.

    It is Thanatos, the ‘death-wish’.

    It has been sweeping across the globe for two generations and we see it’s ‘immediate’ symptoms in Lies and the abandonment of morality, in intellectual dishonesty, in denials of reality, in narcissism and psychopathology at the highest levels of influence and control in Governments. It has killed off the natural authority of men; killed off the love between men and women; killed off that protective and providing drive; killed of any semblance of nurturance; killed off even empathy.

    The effects we see all around, in all these immediate, surface expressions of wives chasing husbands with guns, running them over in cars, dispossessing them in a huge game of “let’s you and him, fight” whare Authority is the Him that you have to go up against, are coming to a head of fever.

    It will kill us all or, if somehow, something happens – we have no idea what – we will rediscover the path back to health. A cure will be found.

    I hope against hope.

    But that cure for ALL these ills will be a cure of the Spirit. Not simply a bandage on a social wound.

    The Authorities currently are ego-centric Charlatan Doctors who take more and more control pressing more and more leeches onto the social body, weakening it more. Odds are this will get worse until the whole world is dominated with Authoritarian Governments, experts in examining stools like entrails of old. The control will be as in a closed system, Totalitarian, with no place where free men – and woman – can breathe.

    We need that Doctor with the Anti-anti-biotic. That injection that reaches into our soul.

    Makind’s soul.

    Until we can access that level and apply a curative there, we will continue the decline. The tipping point of civilisation on this Planet is immanent. We are running out of time.

    But hey, few today, suffering from the curse of the illness spread by The Princess of Lies, even recognise ‘Soul’.

  • mruffolo

    In practice domestic violence is just another government law aimed against men.

    America is a government-insured matriarchy.

  • mruffolo

    WHAT TO DO BEFORE THE RESTRAINING ORDER COMES by Lisa Scott (a family law attorney)

    The first thing for men to understand and accept:

    GENDER BIAS IS A REALITY IN THIS SYSTEM

    Despite the fact that our family laws are generally written in a gender-neutral way, they are often carried out by people in a system that has been steeped in gender-biased stereotypes and outright lies about men and women.

    Every man is vulnerable to getting run through the ringer in this system. Any time you get involved with a woman, you are subject to court & legal intervention. The only way to avoid it is to never get involved with any woman, and go live the rest of your life in a cave.

    http://www.realfamilylaw.com/what-to-do-before-the-restraining-order-comes.php

  • lieweary

    Men need to openly support patriarchy. That’s the only way out of this anti-father, anti-family system.

  • Robert Stevens

    In simple terms DO mestic V I O lense is a fraud. It is a made up lie, it is a bunch of bull. We need to get rid of this fraud and go back to the days of common law. If you attacked someone, they called the cops, filed charges and you were arrested! I do not understand why women, who want to be so damned Independent have to have the goon squad interfer? Wait one minute , I think I know the answer! The thugs who run this country have a plan, ie make women have so many rights that men have none! Make it to where women are responsible and answerable to no one and then kick and blame the men. And if men start to stand up and demand this bull sh-t stop , pass a bunch of :Gestapo like laws, laws that in total violation of the constitution and go against what most people know is right.
    What the idiots who run this fraud don’t know, is that in Gods universe, they will fail . Men are a whole lot tougher and more determined than they give us credit for and that will be their undoing.
    One day very soon , the criminals who run this country will see a site that will scare the sh-t out of them. The men will organize and come at them in mass. Million man march, hell it will be a fifty million man march. If these idiots are lucky, a peaceful march, if they are not and the worse they treat men, the worse their luck will get, it won’t be peaceful. A whole lot of them will not be lucky enough to live long enough to stand trial for what they have done. Most will end up dying a horrible , painful and agonizing death. That does not upset me, no… it is the fact that when these bastards get whats coming to them, they won’t regret doing wrong, they will regret being punished for it! They will go to their deaths never feeling any remorse for the people they hurt and will burn in hell, not ever figuring out that they deserve it. They will never understand that the punishment they got was well deserved, infact, given what they did , it was too lenient.

  • http://wrongside.info/2009/12/12/boys-face-compulsory-feminism-classes-at-school/ Boys Face Compulsory Feminism Classes At School! « WrongSide

    [...] Consider this small sampling of some recent ‘men’s rights websites and articles’: Mens’ News Daily ‘Facing the Reality of Domestic Violence‘; The Spearhead ‘Suffrage [...]






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