No Room for Men at the Abuse Shelter, but Fido can Tag Along
Some persons find it incomprehensible that a woman would maim or murder her husband or boyfriend.
That thought may have crossed the minds of the persons who watched in horror as Debi Olson repeatedly stabbed her ex-husband, Mauricio Droguett at a Des Moines, Iowa shopping mall. Olson was charged with first-degree murder for the July 3, 2008 attack. “It’s a classic case of rage, of hate for someone – it’s very personal,†explained Capt. David Struckman. “She definitely stalked this man.â€
Two weeks later, Cynthia McKay, 52, was sentenced to 30 years in prison for the gruesome murder and burning of her boyfriend Anthony Fertitta of Millersville, Maryland. One prosecutor described McKay as “the most devious defendant this court will come across.â€
And on August 1, Tomasz Matczak of Issaquah, Wash. died of a single stab wound to his chest. The assailant, his 19-year-old girlfriend, openly admitted to the deed.
In all of these cases, early intervention might have averted the tragedy. But where were these men supposed to turn?
All around the country abuse shelters have been established to help persons battered by partner violence. But with a handful of exceptions, these shelters maintain a strict “Men Not Welcome†policy.
Some openly advertise their gender-exclusion policy. Guys, if you live in the Chicago area, here are your options: Women’s Counseling Center, Sarah’s Inn, Latin Women in Action, or the YWCA.
And if Hillary ever lays cougar-tracks on your face again, Bill, you can turn to My Sister’s Place or the Westchester County Office for Women. I’m sure they’d be happy to help.
Other shelters are more discriminating in their manner of discrimination. They wait until a man in dire straights actually arrives on the premises.
A former employee of the Another Way shelter in Lake City, Fla., shared this account:
“Around November or December 2007, a man came into the office. He was crying, and his arms were bruised, seeking assistance,†the woman revealed. The intake worker “took him into her office. Then to my amazement I heard her tell him that Another Way doesn’t provide services or assistance for men…My heart went out to this man because it was evident that he was truly a victim of domestic violence.â€
The appalled woman wrote, “This is discrimination and violating men’s rights. There are men with children that are being victimized. It takes courage for men to come forward and admit they are victims. Then when they do, we revictimize them all over again.â€
So how do abuse shelters get away with these shameful practices?
Some shelters insist they provide equivalent services to men, like giving them a voucher at a local hotel. What have these people been smoking — do they really believe a hotel stay would have protected Mauricio Droguett, Anthony Fertitta, and Tomasz Matczak from their vindictive assailants?
But the most common reason is simple: battered men don’t make the cut. As the head of Rainbow Services in southern California once explained, “We have limited resources and it’s all we can do to try and keep up with the demand for services for women and children.â€
That’s a hoot! Here’s the dirty little secret of the multi-million dollar shelter industry: the great majority of women in so-called “abuse†shelters have never been battered or suffered physical harm at the hands of their abuser.
A woman who volunteered at the YWCA Crisis Center in Enid, Okla. for three years revealed, “In all of that time, there was one woman admitted who I was sure had been severely physically abused. The rest of the women and kids who came and went were playing the system to the hilt!â€
That’s right, most shelter residents have perfected the art of bamboozling the system, knowing that being certified as a battered woman entitles you to oodles of government hand-outs!
But wait, there’s more to the story!
Some of these same shelters that turn away battered men are now telling their “abused†women, “And remember to bring Fido!â€
That’s right, the American Humane Society has recently launched its “PAWS†program – Pets and Women’s Shelters, get it?
So gals, if you need a place to dry out and want to take along your pooch, go to the Center for Abuse and Rape Emergencies in the Tampa Bay area. The dedicated C.A.R.E. staff has established a “foster pet parenting program†just for you!
Or head over to Quigley House in Orange Park — they have a kennel right on shelter grounds. Its canine center features a dog bathing area, benches to accommodate family visits, and of course a waste containment station.
So men, if Quigley House can’t help you with your rolling pin-wielding wife, rest assured that at least Rover will be well-fed and well-bathed.
| More from Carey Roberts
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August 17th, 2008 at 2:32 pm
Great headline, Carey. And guess what political persuasion is running most of these wymmin’s shelters? You guessed it, frequently lesbians, the group whose belief is that men are less human than dogs. It’s our tax dollars supporting these dens of thievery and hatred.
August 17th, 2008 at 3:30 pm
Regarding women in abuse shelters who aren’t victims of abuse: It just so happens that many years ago, my then-husband and I encountered a lady with a small child. She seemed like a perfectly nice person. She told us that she and her husband and child had just been evicted from their apartment. They had no relatives or friends who would take them. She said, “My husband could black my eye so me and the kid could go to a battered woman’s shelter and he will go to jail but we don’t know how long he could be in jail or how much it might cost us for him to do that.” They apparently didn’t intend to take that route. However, I’m sure that idea has occured to couples in similarly dire straits and that some probably did exactly that.
August 17th, 2008 at 8:24 pm
My husband could black my eye so me and the kid could go to a battered woman’s shelter and he will go to jail
Denise, That was many years ago. There has been some major improvement since then. Now she would not have to get a black eye to get a bed in a woman’s shelter, as all she would need to do now is to say she was abused. She would not need proof. Of course, their first course of action is to tell her to get a divorce and although Fido could be with her, her soon to be ex husband would be in the dog house for the rest of his life.
I also contend that if she made that statement…she DID consider it.
Today the false accusation rate is much higher then most realize because being a victim of domestic abuse can be very rewarding if you can pass the physical for it….that being of course that you are the right gender.
All of this is brought to us by our tax payer dollars as we fund the feminist agenda to break up our homes. One of the best ways they are doing this is by the Violence Against Women Act.
We have a photo essay on the Shattered Men website to show what abused women can expect in the shelters and be sure to click on the link to see what shelters abused men will be finding.
http://shatterdmen.com/Women%20Shelters%20Arrangments.htm
August 18th, 2008 at 2:33 am
shatteredmen said,
My husband could black my eye so me and the kid could go to a battered woman’s shelter and he will go to jail
Denise, That was many years ago. There has been some major improvement since then. Now she would not have to get a black eye to get a bed in a woman’s shelter, as all she would need to do now is to say she was abused. She would not need proof. Of course, their first course of action is to tell her to get a divorce and although Fido could be with her, her soon to be ex husband would be in the dog house for the rest of his life.
I also contend that if she made that statement…she DID consider it.
Today the false accusation rate is much higher then most realize because being a victim of domestic abuse can be very rewarding if you can pass the physical for it….that being of course that you are the right gender.
(Denise) Apparently the couple had at least been considering having the husband black her eye so she and their little son could spend the night at a battered women’s shelter and he would get a roof over his head in jail. In that particular scenario, the man is a willing accomplice to the false accusation because he might be so desperate for the woman and child to get a place to lay down for the night and/or he might consider a cot in jail superior to sleeping out in the open.
At any rate, this is hardly what we generally think of as “battery.” Both the man and the woman could be considered victims of their own bad luck or of the lack of adequate social services for people without homes. In that sense, they would be equally victims. However, the scenario of an agreed-upon black eye doesn’t fit at all into the perception of a male brute and a battered female.
August 18th, 2008 at 8:09 am
I’ve seen many articles on this subject over the past two decades, in more than one country, but none that tell the true story – and get the point across – as well as this one.
August 20th, 2008 at 11:22 am
One thing people don’t realize in Washington state, if a woman reports to be a victim of domestic violence, she can get first slots on section 8 housing and emergency government assistance. Some women released from jail and prison to use this to their advantage.
August 21st, 2008 at 7:23 am
Lets face it women today are socially,legally and morally irresposible. They have always been this way, but the state, being a bunch of thieves, has found a way to capitolize on it! They have pandered to these “spoiled rotten” she-children until they believe it should be this way. Now men, having alway had to be responsible and have always been held to a high standard are fed up. Because they have been reduced to a virtual “second class” status, less than even a dog! A man dealing with a women has virtually no rights. Well its time to fight back.
I urge every man out there to learn the law, learn how it works and how to use it to restore the balance. The law is perfect, but the ” legal sysem” is a fraud and racket.
I have found with experience that once you learn how to use the remedies under the law and yes the corrupt court have to abide by it, like it or not, you can put a stop to the abuse and restore, atleast some of your lost rights. You can have a fighting chance, when coming up against a woman and her state co-defendants. You can literally put the fear of God in them and make them act at least half ass reasonable. I believe that if enough men do this, we could launch a revolution. We could put the corrupt racket , we call the legal system out of business and replace it with a system of law. Because that is what the founding fathers wanted us to have. A fair and just system, where everybody is equal. A system where “government officials” are complient, obedient and respectful servants who know who they work for!