The first modern men’s/fathers’ group, United States Divorce Reform, commenced in California in the 1960s with Reuben Kidd and his merry band of legislation reformers. When their statewide Initiative failed, USDR broke up, and its affiliates formed several similar organizations throughout the country. This poor “movement†has been divided ever since. In Minnesota even before the breakup, Charlie Metz formed America’s $ociety of Divorced Men which pioneered the concept of individual divorce counseling. Charlie moved to Elgin Illinois after winning a landmark custody battle in the early ‘70s, wrote “Divorce and Custody for Men†(Doubleday), and become my friend and mentor. Charlie and I argued over the way forward. He believed his approach was superior to others, could finance the movement, and that reform would come about if others would follow his lead. I maintained we must form a coalition of existing groups, democratically choosing leaders and approaches. Charlie had good points; no others in the movement at the time could rival him intellectually until Professor Amneus came on the scene in the late ‘70s. Charlie was the practical expert, Amneus the theoretician.
Charlie died in 1971, as the movement continued to break up philosophically. I had expected the emerging high tech internet would become a forum for communication and ecumenism. Unfortunately, it seems to have simply created a swifter and more efficient Tower of Babel and mutual commiseration society. Newcomers and old timers alike share the blame. The former being largely clueless as to the causes of and solutions to problems; the latter’s egos pretty much obstructing progress.
I believe that we will remain in the shadow of the feminist movement unless and until we can persuade leaders of the major groups to drop their militant independence and commence a policy of intra-movement cooperation. I hope this forum will permit me to once again plead for an ad hoc committee of recognized international leaders with this goal in mind.
