A Surprising Race To Courtesy!

2009-07-11
By

In a previous essay I wrote about a small talk acquaintanceship with a man I called “Mike.” The previous essay can be accessed at http://mensnewsdaily.com/2008/11/03/sexual-harassment-men’s-and-women’s-behaviors-“mike”-and-i.

I incorrectly described Mike as a construction worker in that column. He actually worked in the office of a construction firm. I made the mistake because I had seen him wearing a hardhat on a couple of occasions when he was looking over what was being done at a construction site.

Anyway, the two of us usually saw each other when we frequented a neighborhood convenience store.

I was on my way to the convenience store one bright morning when I spotted Mike off to the side of me on his way to it as well. He was running.

What is he running for? I wondered.

It wasn’t long before I found out. Mike got to the store just before I did. He opened the door and held it open while I walked through it.

“Thank you, Mike!” I exclaimed in delight. “You are a real gentleman.”

This surprising act of courtesy got my day off to a good start.

It also led me to ponder, as I have in previous columns, the meaning of the sorts of courtesies that men perform for women. As others have pointed out, their very existence tends to negate the perception that we live in a man’s world or patriarchy, in which the female sex is completely subservient to the male sex. One can hardly imagine a master rushing to open a door for a slave, a Brahmin running to perform such a service for an untouchable, or a wealthy person racing to do this for an impoverished individual.

Why are men taught to open doors for women? Journalist Adela Rogers St. John said, “They should open the doors for us because they’re stronger and it’s easier for them to do it.” This is true but the difference here is trivial. I open that door myself every day and so do other women.

However, I do believe that teaching men to perform special courtesies for women is related to the physical strength differences between the genders. It is a way of slipping it into their minds that they should not misuse their strength advantage but employ it for good.

Unfortunately, some women find these courtesies patronizing. I find them charming and believe that the majority of women do as well.

Men, please keep being gentlemen!

Thank you.

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  • DaPoet

    No thanks…As long as the average female continues to allow the feminists who speak in her name to promote their war on my gender I shall continue to treat all females like the rattlesnakes they are…

  • Amfortas

    Courtesies and sensitivities used to be the typifying factors that distinguished ‘class’ from ‘arse’. I regret the day that nice acts from men for the benefit and honouring of women died. And for the pleasant acts and kindnesses that women showed, often as a response, but just as often as an initiator, benefitting and honouring men.

    Social grace reflected personal character. That character was on the whole sensitive to others.

    It has been mugged by vile women in the main and in the name of ‘equality’ as defined (transmorgified, distorted, garrotted) by Feminism. I cannot see any male initiation of the cruel treatment to courtesy.

    But, dear Denise, your ‘Mike’ was not simply following ‘old social rules’, I am thinking. He was acknowledging a nice woman. You. That is Character.

  • Denise Noe

    amfortas wrote: But, dear Denise, your ‘Mike’ was not simply following ‘old social rules’, I am thinking. He was acknowledging a nice woman. You. That is Character.

    (Denise) Thank you, amfortas. Do you see any irony in that this courtesy was performed by the same man who once chastised me for a raunchy joke?






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