Allaboutcounseling.com is All About Hating Men and Exploiting Women
ALL ABOUT MANIPULATION OF CLIENTS
I recently stumbled upon a mental health information and referral website operating at allaboutcounseling.com. In it, I discovered several misleading elements, including the dissemination of fraudulent statistics on several social issues, including, but not limited to, domestic violence. Most disturbing, however, was the way the site publishers used the misleading information as an invitation to radical feminism, a political ideology. It was a bait and switch with a horrific paucity of ethical values mandated for the professionals they represent.
Most of the mental health related “helping professions” e.g., psychotherapists, social workers, psychologists and counselors, have a code of ethics that guides their professional conduct. They are sworn, supposedly at the risk of their professional licenses, to follow the ethical mandates of that code in how they conduct their practices and in their relationships with clients.
The rules require them to maintain objectivity, to offer accurate information to the best of their ability and to act in the clients best interests at all times.
Failing to do that is considered professional abuse and is subject to sanctions. In most places, professionals are admonished to take all this into account regarding their professional affiliations as well.
In other words, aligning themselves with other professionals or organizations that act to the detriment of those ethical standards is strictly forbidden.
Why then, one must wonder, are there so many therapists that get client referrals though the website that operates under the name ALLABOUTCOUNSELING.COM?
ALLABOUTCOUNSELING.COM is on the surface a simple referral resource for helping people find mental health services, and for connecting mental health professionals to possible clients.
What is disturbing is that the site doubles as a tool for the political indoctrination of prospective clients. They weave information on mental health services with a pro-feminist and overtly anti-male agenda, and target that message at people who are logically presumed to be at highly vulnerable points in their lives.
ALLABOUTCOUNSELING.COM quotes statistics on issues like rape, sexual abuse, domestic violence and even alleged wage gap information. Almost all of it is wildly inaccurate and misleading, much of it without the benefit of research sources. Most of this “information” has been thoroughly debunked by sound and unbiased research so its presence on the site can only be interpreted as calculated to deceive.
For example, they state that half of all marriages experience domestic violence, a complete falsehood. The Centers for Disease Control put the percentage at less than one quarter, and many other valid studies point to even less frequency.
The site erroneously claims throughout in the information pages that it is almost exclusively women that are the victims of that violence and that the small fraction of women who are violent only commit that violence in self defense.
Women who are victims of violence are a serious problem, but they won’t be helped with deceptive propaganda that is designed more to indoctrinate than it is to help. And this is where ethical violations are quite clear.
ALLABOUTCOUNSELING.COM proffers a redundant message that demonizes men, and paints women as victims in every way imaginable. And intertwined with their entire body of false statistics and misleading statements are pitches for feminism, dangling the philosophy like a carrot before clients with the unmistakable implication that it is an integral part of the overall mental health picture for women. In short, to be sane is to be feminist.
Think about what that means. People come to the website, usually in enough emotional pain to make them vulnerable and impressionable, and rather than offering an objective, truthful and beneficial doorway into improved living, the authors of the site exploit that pain and vulnerability in order to further their own political agenda.
What would you think of a psychotherapist that implies to their clients that some of the solutions to their emotional difficulties are to be found in the Republican Party? How about a solution that tells people that saving the environment will also save their marriage?
That is precisely the approach taken by ALLABOUTCOUNSELING.COM
Political organizations and philosophies are not considered a valid form of mental health treatment by caring, objective and competent professionals. In fact, the truly professional and skilled in the field would never associate themselves with such practices.
This insanity needs to end, and that starts with the professionals who list their services in the ALLABOUTCOUNSELING.COM directory.
Following is a list of said clinicians (original article only) from the state of California, with their names and contact information as listed in the directory.
I will start with them, sending and email and a link to this article and an explanation of why they should divest themselves from ALLABOUTCOUNSELING.COM
It is hard to know how many of them are aware of the breeches in ethics on the site, but they will after being contacted.
End.
I linked this piece in an email to all the treatment providers listed for California advising them that according to the ethical standards for their state, a professional affiliation with an organization that is using disinformation as political propaganda is patently unethical. Many of them subsequently divested their involvement with allaboutcounseling.com but the site itself has refused communication with me about its practices and continues unabated.
After consulting with Publisher Mike LaSalle, we are both in agreement that just walking away from this egregious abuse of the public trust is unacceptable.
On behalf of MND I am now asking all MRA’s to copy this article in its entirety, or link to it from their blogs and websites, and to use key words, e.g. allaboutcounseling, client abuse, breech of ethics, hate speech, that will help with search engine results.
Per the following email, I have given the California group 30 days to have their services removed from allaboutcounseling.com After that time, I will write an update to this article which will include their names, phone numbers and the addresses of their practices.
Email:
Greetings,
I found your listing and contact information at allaboutcounseling.com.
I am not writing because I am having problems, but because you might be in the near future and I am looking for a way for you to avoid that.
I don’t know if you have carefully reviewed the material presented at allaboutcounseling.com, but it contains a good deal of disinformation and other aspects that are of ethical concern to me, and should be to you.
I explain this more completely in an article I wrote, to which you will find a link at the bottom of this message.
The main focus of that piece is that intertwining political indoctrination, e.g. radical feminism, with promoting overall mental health is patently unethical. And when you add to that the fact that much of the information used is misrepresented or outright fraudulent, it becomes both deceptive and abusive.
It has to stop.
Please keep in mind that I don’t write this with the idea that you personally are engaged in any such unethical behavior. I don’t know anything about you and would not proffer such maligning conjecture.
What I do know is that you are listed on that site, and by that fact your involvement is the impetus for their actions, and now for mine. Since I will be directing a substantial amount of energy at exposing that website for what it is doing, you and your reputation are subject to being collateral damage in the fallout.
Let me explain further.
Currently, the article below is published, with your name and practice information on my website. That, in and of itself, is harmless to you. But at the end of the 30 days, I am going to use my considerable reach on the internet to distribute the complete article in a wide variety of places. If you doubt my word when I say “considerable reach” just google my name. You won’t have to go through very many pages of results before it dawns on you just how significant this action is.
In the end the article will be exposed to many thousands of people. But that is still not your main concern.
The larger problem for you would come with search results.
Imagine that when people key in searches on counseling, allaboutcounseling.com, client abuse, or even your name or practice name, that the article mentioned pops up in the top tier of search results.
And I say all that with the understanding here that truly your biggest problem is that you have your name tagged on to a website that spreads lies and distortions while pretending to offer valid science.
As I said, I don’t know anything about you, so I really have no desire to cast a pallor over your professional reputation. But my work at exposing the hateful practices at allaboutcounseling.com will be launched full force regardless.
This would seem to me to leave you three options.
1. You can contact allaboutcounseling.com and advise them it is unethical for you to be listed on a site that spreads falsehoods to people at vulnerable points in their lives.
2. You can just have your listing there deleted.
3. You can ignore all of this and proceed at your own risk.
I think option number one is the best.
I am starting with California and this action will be expanded till I have covered every region in the allaboutcounseling.com registry.
And regardless of the outcome, my readers will love me for it and it will increase traffic to my site all the more.
I urge you to consider whether your relationship with that particular referral resource is valuable enough to risk placing your practice in the middle of this campaign.
Ultimately, I think the best option is for the owners of allaboutcounseling.com to drop the sexist propaganda, present only valid information and quit trying to manipulate people who are in emotional turmoil. If they won’t do that, I will gladly settle for making it foolish for any credentialed professional to be associated with them.
End of email.
This article will now also be forwarded to those in the California group, reminding them that continued affiliation with an unethical organization can and should have a negative impact on their professional lives. I am also preparing a detailed explanation of the ethical breeches and will be filing them with the California Board of Behavioral Sciences in the form of an official complaint, which they are required to investigate.
Paul Elam is the Editor-in-Chief for Mens News Daily and the publisher of A Voice for Men
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September 24th, 2009 at 12:55 pm
I note the following in support of Paul’s argument that AAC operates from ideological foundations to the detriment of the unsuspecting and unprepared:
http://www.allaboutcounseling.com/men.htm
http://www.allaboutcounseling.com/women_issues.htm
http://fogarty.org/tim/gay_issues/
I clicked on “The New Masculinity”, “Gay Issues” and “Women’s Issues”. Into each constructed category AAC has consigned a single ideological substance: the victim/perp dynamic.
According to AAC, for men, their job is to accept their new role as predator and beast, and to always always seek forgiveness from women. See it for yourself here.
Gays are victims of religion, most especially Christianity. (AAC presents this page as its “Gay Issues” page: http://fogarty.org/tim/gay_issues/ )
Women are victims of men. http://www.allaboutcounseling.com/women_issues.htm
No man, woman or gay person is presented by AAC as an individual human being free to make choices, but as co-dependent human cogs rotating endlessly in a victim/victimizer theory-of-subordination narrative-from-hell.
Kudos to Paul Elam for exposing the truth and holding the line.
Mike LaSalle,
Publisher and Founder
MensNewsDaily.com
September 24th, 2009 at 12:56 pm
Paul,
Great job! They say that sunlight is the best sanitizer. This destructive feminist nonsense needs to be dragged, writhing, into the light of day, and its adherents challenged. Most will not have the ability, much less the integrity, to respond.
Keep up the great work.
September 24th, 2009 at 1:17 pm
Thanks for this, Paul. They are not used to being held accountable for their own actions.
September 24th, 2009 at 3:19 pm
I checked Paul’s list, and there’s an address just down the street! I think I’ll pop in tomorrow and say Hi!, let ‘em know I saw their name on AAC, and what I think about it. Politely, of course.
September 24th, 2009 at 4:08 pm
I will get onto it Paul, and do some looking around for Australians who might be using this Disservice. Your approach is sound. If I find Oz counsellors, should I send details so that you can put them on a combined email list, or deal with them independantly?
In Oz we have a fractured professional system comprised of Psychologists with a minimum eight years study behind them just a step ahead in the public’s mind of ‘counsellors’ who have a weekend course with a guru and a biased book as their only arsenal of talent. Then we have Zozschial Verkers, (they even call themselves ‘Cinical Zozschial Verkers’ here !!! ) followed closely by ‘Victims’, who ‘practice’ somewhat akin to witch-doctors with bells, books (guru ones of course) and scented candles. Ellen Bass has a lot to answer for.
The entire ‘counsel’ Profession is awash with old women leaning over the back fence and young women in ‘power-suits’ peddling slogans and mantras. The Universities churn them out as fast as they do lawyers. Needless to say any appeal to ethical standards matters little to them and de-registration can only affect the top end.
I am fully behind such initiatives and exposure action but hope that MND’s name does not get inadvertently mixed into the fray.
September 24th, 2009 at 4:19 pm
Thank you Amfortas. There are indeed therapists from Australia listed in their service, though a small listing:
0utside US:Australia
Adelaide
Una Hanlon-Schafer Counselling 9th Floor 118 King William St, Adelaide 08 8221 6563
Areas of Emphasis: Crisis Counseling, Divorce/Dissolution, Grief/Loss, Multicultural Issues, Persons with Disabilities, Self Esteem/Personal Growth, Terminally Ill
Healesville, Victoria
Anxiety-Depression Help Site Healesville, Victoria P. O. Box 214, Healesville, Victoria 111-222-3333
Areas of Emphasis: Anxiety/Panic Attacks, Crisis Counseling, Employment Issues, Gambling, Grief/Loss, Men’s Issues, Mood Disorders (Depression/Bipolar), Multicultural Issues, Parenting, Persons with Disabilities, Self Esteem/Personal Growth, Substance Abuse/Dependency, Terminally Ill, Trauma Recovery (abuse), Women’s Issues
Melbourne
Paul Mckillop Consulting P.O. Box 213, Glen Iris, Melbourne 3 9 889 3095
Areas of Emphasis: Anxiety/Panic Attacks, Chronic Illness, Codependency/ACA, Divorce/Dissolution, Employment Issues, Forensics, Grief/Loss, Mood Disorders (Depression/Bipolar), Parenting, Persons with Disabilities, Self Esteem/Personal Growth, Sexual Disorders, Substance Abuse/Dependency, Schizophrenia & Delusional Disorders, Trauma Recovery (abuse)
Mountain Creek
Counsellor & Astrologer 145 Glenfields Blvd, Mountain Creek 0754782303
Areas of Emphasis: Crisis Counseling, Divorce/Dissolution, Employment Issues, Grief/Loss, Mediation, Men’s Issues, Multicultural Issues, Self Esteem/Personal Growth, Women’s Issues
Potts Point
Freedom for Therapy 185 Victoria St, Potts Point 02 9331 8661
Areas of Emphasis: Anxiety/Panic Attacks, Gay/Lesbian Issues, Grief/Loss, Mood Disorders (Depression/Bipolar), Self Esteem/Personal Growth, Substance Abuse/Dependency
Sydney
choosingchange — Counselling Sydney CBD — Philip Johnson Suite 2A, Level 4, DYMOCKS BUILDING, 428 George Street, Sydney 1300 667 996
Areas of Emphasis: Anxiety/Panic Attacks, Crisis Counseling, Codependency/ACA, Employment Issues, Gambling, Gay/Lesbian Issues, Grief/Loss, Mediation, Men’s Issues, Mood Disorders (Depression/Bipolar), Multicultural Issues, Pain Management, Self Esteem/Personal Growth, Sexual Disorders, Substance Abuse/Dependency
Toowong, Qld, Australia
Integrating Awareness P.O. Box 1234, Toowong, Qld, Australia 07 3217 7272
Areas of Emphasis: Anxiety/Panic Attacks, Crisis Counseling, Chronically Mental Ill, Codependency/ACA, Divorce/Dissolution, Eating Disorders, Grief/Loss, Mediation, Men’s Issues, Mood Disorders (Depression/Bipolar), Self Esteem/Personal Growth, Sexual Disorders, Substance Abuse/Dependency, Trauma Recovery (abuse)
Wheelers Hill
Career Dimensions 7 Murillo Court, Wheelers Hill 3 9-561-6004
Areas of Emphasis: Anxiety/Panic Attacks, Divorce/Dissolution, Employment Issues, Gambling, Grief/Loss, Mediation, Men’s Issues, Multicultural Issues, Parenting, Self Esteem/Personal Growth, Trauma Recovery (abuse), Women’s Issues
These will indeed be on the list, though some time down the road as I am focusing first on the most populated areas. However, if anyone wants to contact these people and link them to this article, who am I to object?
Should anyone be interested in writing any of these people, the email addresses are listed in on onsite directory starting at the home page. Link at the top of this article.
September 24th, 2009 at 4:53 pm
Update with the first sign of victory! I just went through the allaboutcounseling.com directory and found that they have removed the email addresses of everyone on the site! All of them!
The cockroaches are running!
That is fine with me as the emails to the therapists were a courtesy and a bit of a bother. I have a plan to work this now through licensing agencies and professional organizations for their professions.
Are these people so thick that they think removing those email addresses will stop what is happening? All they have done is remove their bread and butters way of getting some advance notice. They have also removed on of the primary way that prospective clients can contact these people through the site.
The have raised the steaks and their bluff will be called.
September 24th, 2009 at 4:57 pm
Had them all Paul, but thanks. I also had a look through the site. It is a Guru book bolt-on site. The ‘information’ on it is appalling, biased Agitprop straight from Feminazi Central.
September 24th, 2009 at 5:24 pm
Doncha just Lerve the Counsellor & Astrologer ! By Appointment to the Neurotically Gifted. Mind your head on the crystals. Leave your husband at the door.
September 24th, 2009 at 8:29 pm
@ Local Action
Now that is some good local action. Thanks!
September 24th, 2009 at 8:36 pm
Bravo!
September 25th, 2009 at 4:20 am
From the site, describing the “new masculinity”:
“Openness–to others (particularly women) criticism of our behaviors or attitudes, to listen, listen some more, and only speak if the critic wants feedback.”
In short, men should listen to women but women should not listen to men (unless they feel like it). That pretty well sums up the last 40 years of feminism: women screaming unrelenting criticism of men (to which we men are supposed to patiently listen) but putting plugs in their ears when it comes time to listen to men, especially if men have something critical to say about women.
September 25th, 2009 at 8:16 am
I don’t have anything to add other than to express the positive emotions I’m feeling for this small but decisive action taken against the Feminist phalanx. As a phalanx is breached, its formation cannot be maintained, panic and confusion sets in, and its soldiers become entangled and enmeshed in their own weapons and arms as they attempt to flee. At that point, military tacticians euphamistically call it “a target rich environment”. I’m probably just getting my hopes up though. We must all be prepared for a trench war, were ground is won and lost foot by foot, inch by inch, but today at least, is a very good day.
September 25th, 2009 at 9:15 am
Paul,
OUTSTANDING effort on your part. It’s well written, reasoned, and rational arguments like yours that are a credit to men wanting equality and justice everywhere.
They prey upon the vulnerable – and honestly truly believe “they are helping”, w/out doing the most simple self-inventory of “what if this was reversed” to know it is patently unfair.
Steven
September 25th, 2009 at 9:17 am
@Paul Elam
Absolutely brilliant work !!!
#1 internet activism
It is very definitely going to cause concern among some of those providing bogus therapy to their mostly female clients.
Furthermore, keeping your activist work available on the internet will warn others in the therapy business that they are soon likely to be exposed to a bunch of angry MRAs if they are peddling such hateful nonsense.
This is EXACTLY the type of activism that we need.
Full frontal assaults on those who spread man-hatred.
And, Paul E, I can assure you that such activism is very effective indeed.
Done it myself, on numerous occasions – but not quite as vigorously and as aggressively as your good self.
Further, you can count on my ACTIVE support in your current quest to
clean up this thoroughly unwholesome counseling scam.
I also notice that, here in the UK, a search for “ALLABOUTCOUNSELING” via Google already brings up your above piece on page #1 position 4.
Page 1 !!!
Already!
Absolutely fantastic.
And I, myself, shall spend the next few days constructing a piece to add some weight to your most excellent campaign.
However, I’m a slow writer – so it might take week!
But I’ll get there.
In conclusion: Brilliant work Paul E.
And ***much*** appreciated.
September 25th, 2009 at 10:34 am
A thousand thanks Harry and to the rest of you as well. I note now that in America my google query for allaboutcounseling brings up TWO first page results. One to the article here on MND and another to antimisandry.com as my blog is on rss feed to there.
We have just started this and are building quite an arsenal. If more MRA writers follow this story and write on it, it will fill the results pages with returns that get the truth to anyone checking them out.
We can do this together!!
September 25th, 2009 at 8:27 pm
Allaboutcounseling.com is not the only group that does this. Several years ago, we had a moderator in Shattered Men who was a certified counselor with the American Association of Christian Counselors and I also became an associate member of that group. I would not renew this membership as I found that they accepted the gender feminist stats on domestic violence and often had workshops on domestic violence during their annual conventions in which the presentation would have made the National Organization of Women and the domestic violence industry proud. Any attempt to educate them (as well as many other Christian organizations that address domestic violence has fallen on deaf ears as you can see in this:
http://shatterdmen.com/Moody.htm
September 26th, 2009 at 2:24 am
AAC Website owner redirected me to Porn movies website after banning me
======================================
Yup thats what she did. When the Site Coordinator of the AllAboutCounseling.com website banned me from the site a few months ago, she redirected me to a Porn movies site for a few days whenever I visited the Discussion threads and tried to submit a post – thats how I found out I was banned. After a few days, the redirect was changed to Google which it is to this day. As to why I was banned, I was banned because a Buddhist condescending personality named Tez (who gets chastised for being so by other users to this day) couldn’t take my criticisms of his Buddhist beliefs and threatened to leave the site. Site Coordinator couldn’t take the pressure and banned me. She also banned Bevdee (a nice person inspite of our conflicts who is probably badly missed by all there) and another user Free on the same day (who I believe has come back as Andii).
So thats it folks – the Site Coordinator (website owner) of the AllAboutCounseling.com website redirected a banned user to a Porn movies website. Doesn’t that say something about ethics and morality, considering this is a website dedicated to counseling, gentle support and therapy? Yes its true but she knew I could never prove it happened since I didn’t care to record video screen evidence but this happened, as incredible and unbelievable it sounds.
September 26th, 2009 at 5:29 am
This web site is the answer to my prayers.
Guest Guest was publically humiliated by the Site Cooridinator for not agreeing with someone elses point of view. This could have been handled privately in an email.
I am hear to give my testimony that the Site Coordinator on Allaboutcounseling.com does horrible things to anyone who doesnt agree with her. I believe that she also comes on under different screen names and terrorizes posters that stand up to her. Like Guest Guest I cant prove it.
I was a victim of her mental abuse as well.
Does the word CLASS ACTION LAW SUIT come to anyones mind?
The site cooridanor also pits posters against other posters. Sick, sick sick.
I have never seen moderation when it comes to discriminating against males on that site.
September 26th, 2009 at 1:20 pm
Hi ToyDemon10, I dont know your AAC username and I havent seen this one there before. I doubt that the SC would get usernames to terrorize posters but who knows – thats not something we can be certain about, but what is certain is that I got redirected to a Porn movies site whenever I tried to submit a thread on AAC during those few days.
SC also didnt exactly humiliate me, other than asking me to leave, however yes she lost her cool with me and Bevdee and the other person (Free/andii/twinks). She didnt handle it well at all. A class action suit is unlikely – its her site and she does what she wants and people join with certain terms and conditions. However me being redirected to a Porn site was definitely not in the TOS.
But to come back to the topic of this article: all those referrals probably give the Site Coordinator $10/month leading to monthly money for her groceries or whatever the amount is.
September 26th, 2009 at 2:48 pm
In regards to AAC, it is ironic that a site that holds itself out to be a counseling site as its name ALLABOUTCOUNSELING.COM falsely implies would direct a member to a porn site. Who knows maybe the SC owned the porn site and didnt want to loose your business. Maybe the SC spends all of their time on the porn site and comes home grumpy at night and took it out on you.
In regards to my tongue in cheek remark about filing a class action law suit. The idea has crossed my mind. It is not a joke. If the SC is a licensed mental health professional they could be held accountable for their actions. A licensed mental health professional is held at a higher standard than a lay person in this respect.
When it comes to how the SC addressed you in a public forum the word “unprofessional conduct” comes to mind.
September 27th, 2009 at 10:09 am
I think when the SC comes home grumpy at night…that is when she logs on as Destinystar. Just sayin’.
September 27th, 2009 at 1:37 pm
Hi Guest Guest. Glad to see you found a way to keep in touch. You say you were re-directed to a porn web site after you were banned? Thats unethical. I miss Bevdee too. Bevdee if your out there please let us know you are alright.
Paul I think this web site and all the information is fantastic! I am thrilled to see Guest Guest getting proper support.
September 27th, 2009 at 2:46 pm
Enough is enough of AAC. I have sat lurking on the site for years. I observed Marypoppins posting that she felt like she was always being bullied. I felt so sorry for her. The nickname Marypoppins instead of getting the help she needed what she got in return were bad feelings I am worried they could traumatize her even further. And no wonder nicknames on the site such as Marypoppins couldnt get help and felt so defeated like Guest Guest says you had nicknames like Andii who he states comes on under other nicknames like Free a poster who was banned. AAC is a free for all a fighting machine. It appears that the sites name Allaboutcounseling could possibly be misleading people. There is no counseling on the site. Just a group of hurt humans left to pick and claw their way to the top of their shit and as Marypoppins so cleverly pointed out stinks.
September 28th, 2009 at 4:50 am
I have several thoughts.
1) I applaud men’s/fathers’ rights sites in general. I believe they are needed.
2) I don’t know enough about DV statistics to comment. But I’ve been coming to AAC for a fair amount of time and do not see a feminist bias.
3) I think that there is a lot of support on the site. There is one screen name, Destinystar, that is consistently abusive, and for the life of me I do not understand why this person hasn’t been banned as Guest_guest was for similar behavior. Destinystar’s attacks are actually worse in my opinion than Guest_guest’s. Guest’s were largely debate-related. Destiny attacks people personally, in deep ways — their parenting, their choices to stay with alcoholic mates, etc. — and she has done this while *not* practicing what she’s preached — typical “bleeding deacon”.
All in all, I’ve found the site useful so long as I don’t get involved myself. If there are out of date statistics, then Paul, I hope your work aids in getting them updated. As for the feminist bias, as I said I do not see it at AAC, but I absolutely respect your effort to expose it in the DV world as a whole.
September 28th, 2009 at 5:38 am
enough_already- I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU. WE HAVE AN OBLIGATION AS HUMAN BEINGS TO GIVE PAUL ELAM 100% OF OUR SUPPORT SO HE CAN CONTINUE TO EXPOSE ALLABOUTCOUNSELING.COM FOR ENCOURAGING PEOPLE TO HATE MEN AND EXPLOIT WOMEN.
September 28th, 2009 at 7:00 am
Hi Paul. What a nobel cause you are trying to promote. I read your extremly well thought out article in regards to the facts you have discovered about the Allaboutcounseling.com web site. After reading your article, visiting the website, and reading the comments here this is the conslusion I have reached.
The people who have submitted their comments here dont have anything positive to say about their experience with Allaboutcounseling.com
The people who have submitted their comments here are in support of what you are doing as far as exposing the site for discriminating against males and exploiting females.
The people who submit their comments on Allaboutcounseling.com dont seem to be happy.
I did notice that their were people that were constantly complaining about the site, each other, gossiping. Not much in the way of support.
The advice that people got were not from counselors, not factual and had a high potential of doing more harm than good.
I did not see any counseling being offered on the Allaboutcounseling site.
My overall impression is whoever is running the site is “asleep at the wheel”. Just a group of troubled souls, reaching out and not getting any form of direction.
You are a bright and brave man to hold the person who owns the Allaboutcounseling.com site responsible for all of the problems this site is presenting.
In conclusion, my personal opinon is that the overall quality of the site is VERY POOR.
September 28th, 2009 at 9:10 am
Ok, WHO is trying to impersonate marypoppins here? She has denied she wrote anything here or on Paul’s site. I think whoever it is is making a joke of all this so no one believes me saying that SC redirected me to a porn site. Thats what you’re trying to do. Do read Paul Elam’s site. Treehugsforlife4 there has said she too experienced the same so that confirms it. Me Bevdee and Treehugs4 (the 3 “bannedits” as Bevdee called it aptly) are there and we’re the real deal there. Bevdee didnt get the porn site, but Treehugs did.
And tomorrow SC is probably gonna come out of the curtains where she was watching everything. She’ll delete that thread and make a new one doing all her Blah blah and how much more she loves the AAC site, even more than her favorite red Snuggies blanket and how much her soul is invested into it. Well with all the 94 banks having failed in the country, dont invest anything into one place, ya know. Anyway.
Thankgod I can say this here without being banned. Yea! And yes I am the real Guest_guest. The so-called Marypoppins above is an impersonator of the real one on AAC.
Not really a big deal, friends. These are all small sites with a visitor population of 100-200 people max. But its still fun.
September 28th, 2009 at 10:32 am
No where on the discussion board, (that I can see) does it say that the discussions were amongst counselors, or that a counselor would be present to address any of the comments or posters. I haven’t seen where it states anywhere that their involvement would be implemented into the discussions.
IanPalin Says:
“The people who have submitted their comments here dont have anything positive to say about their experience with Allaboutcounseling.com
Do you think it might be possible that the posters who actually do have (or had) positive experiences on AAC would post about it here, knowing that in doing so would be a violation of the terms & conditions of the site? Perhaps they respect the site rules, enough to refrain from commenting here, (even with the violation they must feel of having their safe haven exposed and possibly pulled from them.)
The people who have submitted their comments here are in support of what you are doing as far as exposing the site for discriminating against males and exploiting females.”
And my guess is that those would be the disgruntled posters who have their own personal grudge or have been banned for some reason or another, (possibly for violating the site terms.) So of course they their support would be offered here. For some, this would be an obvious observation.
The people who submit their comments on Allaboutcounseling.com dont seem to be happy.
That pretty much appears as a blanket statement. Or could it be that their “unhappiness” is what brought them there to begin with? Perhaps if you were to dig a little deeper, you might find more of the positive outcomes on the board.
The one sentence in Mr. Elam’s article that truly stood out to me was where he stated,
“And regardless of the outcome, my readers will love me for it and it will increase traffic to my site all the more.”
In my opinion, the last part of that comment is what truly exposes the real agenda here.
September 28th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
Many psychologists also conduct custody studies and pschological evaluations, many of them court ordered. These “tests” also violate their code of ethics because the subjects are not there willingly, voluntarily, but there often under duress. The tests, under these conditions in know way are accurate or complete pictures and indeed, are frequently just a window dressing to the father, Man bashing to follow. These tests, evals, are also a backdoor violation of a participants 5th Amendment Rights against self incrimination, and are the Bread and Butter to many illicit, ambulance chasing, court whore pschologists and their staffs. Frequently the results of these visits are exactly what the judge, guardian-ad-Litam and petitioners attorneys order. Certainly operators of these establishments do cause much further harm.
September 28th, 2009 at 12:37 pm
@ Amy, and all
The part of my email you quoted is quite misunderstood. Suffice it to say that if I wanted to write or take on causes for the purpose of inspiring people to like me or be popular, then the men’s right movement would be a choice no less than psychotic.
MRA’s are used to be hated, not loved.
The point of that statement, which most people would get if giving the rest of the email an honest read, is that I have nothing to lose and can’t be harmed by what I am doing. It is just, and I think obviously, intended to convey the message that any thought i could be shamed or bullied into stopping would only backfire.
That being said, the point of this article was not to address in any way the happenings in the allboutcounseling.com forum, though these reports of abuses don’t surprise me.
The point is that the website is engaging in the dissemination of sexist falsehoods, hateful stereotypes and assorted deceptions while cloaking itself in the auspices of promoting mental health.
AAC is to mental health what pedophiles are to playgrounds. And that is only issue I care about.
September 28th, 2009 at 12:44 pm
To the person calling herself Marypoppins, it’s great that someone agrees with me, but I don’t think you’re the same Marypoppins who posts on AAC.
Guest_guest, your way with words brings a smile to my face. “With all the 95 banks…”
Paul, keep up the fight.
October 1st, 2009 at 5:56 am
AAC is but a cyber soap opera with better twists and turns than Desperate Housewives! Now there’s even an imposter posting HERE!That’s probably lollipop3- she obsesses big time and a chance to poke at MaryP is never missed by her. A men’s hate site- c’mon. I’ve never seen THAT promoted, just the fact that some women come there who have been victimized by men and they aren’t happy with them. Surely that’s understandable. The SC, well she can be a real hoot that’s for sure, but I’ve never seen her out to HURT people. She loses her temper and lashes out like people do. You wanto to stop gender abuse, get a grip on our legal system. No THAT’s a big fish! But AAC- the people like it there, are there by choice, and are basically good people, as most people are. Leave them be. This attack is way overboard, uncalled for, and pointless.
October 1st, 2009 at 9:59 am
Heres an old review of the sight.
http://mental-health.wegohealth.com/mental-health-specialist/all-about-counseling/comments.html
10/29/2007
This site has information about different types of counselors you might choose from and doesn’t provide community resources. Still, understanding the categories can help you decide on your needs. Some of the information seems dated and some of the links don’t seem to have much to do with counseling. I also couldn’t find much information about who was running the site. Some of the self-help type links are useful in a general “think positive” sort of way.
October 1st, 2009 at 10:06 am
“to learn more and more methods of non- violent conflict resolution so that our children will – see something other then the “might makes right” behavior promoted in all major media.’
“might makes right” implies that ALL the old masculine men used might for coersion.
October 1st, 2009 at 3:28 pm
What Paul is talking about is the owner of the website. The person who has custody and control over it. Not the people who sign in and post. Anyone can see in general the ongoing hate and discontent that AAC generates. It is just more evidence as to why the site needs to be passed up for more meaningful discussions.
At this time I dont care to go into detail about it, but the site coordinator insists that people denounce their religious beliefs, allows participants to degrade homosexuals as well as tolerating racial, slurs and degrading references to males in general.
Marypoppins was woman enough to acknowledge her fondness towards Guest_guest. Marypoppins also had to email the site cooridantor about being abused on the site. At least Marypoppins wasnt to proud to admit her shit stinks after another pointed it out to her. That is about all the therapy and self exploration a person can realisticly expect to get on that site.
Instead of blaming ones mother or man in their life for their problems why dont they look at themselves. That is where the answers lie.
October 3rd, 2009 at 2:33 am
I also noticed a patently false statement about the military and law enforcement:
“A domestic violence law came into effect a couple years back involving gun control. The law states that men found guilty of domestic violence are prohibited from owning a gun. Both the armed forces and police forces are protesting this law because they are finding many of their recruits have been found guilty of domestic violence. In the past, police departments were in strong support of the promotion and legislation of gun control involving domestic violence. Despite this, police departments are now in opposition, and are pressuring congress to change this new law. This law also provides funding for a national hotline. So, there is now a National Hotline available to everyone, even in rural communities where there wasn’t this kind of service available in the past. ”
http://allaboutcounseling.com/domestic_violence.htm#thereare
There is a lot more wrong with the above statement, but that’s the main thing that stood out. Seems like this person or org is making things up as they go along.
October 8th, 2009 at 8:07 am
Posted today on AAC by a woman who apparently is OK with her boyfriend living under her roof, but God forbid she “enables” his “human failing” of not being able to find a job in the new state he moved to because SHE wanted to be closer to HER family!! She is lauded for this by other women on the site as well as by a male participant who bitched during his wife’s whole pregnancy that he “wasn’t getting any”. The thread is called “Billy’s Angels”.
“As for me & bf, things are going good/ok……he is “running” out of money, we can make it for about another month or so, but who knwos if he’ll find a job b4 then, but i swear *no enabling* or helping him out financially from me, i am sticking to that, just preparing myself, cuz next month will be here quicker than possible, and my bf will just need to borrow from someone (not me) to make ends meet.
October 14th, 2009 at 5:39 am
On AAC website it states “River is the counseling & social issues expert of the group”. I believe his full name is River Smith as in the River Smith with the book that is being advertised on the site. AAC website also states that River “He provides most written material on this site”. AAC also states that “River” is a “clinical psychologis, Ohio License #4658″. AAC website also states that River from “1988-Present employed by Tower Psychological services, Cleveland Ohiio: Private Practice of Family therapy”. Also on AAC website states that “River” has an accomplishments of note Co-Chair of National Organization for Men Against Sexism 1995 to the present. 1995 to the present professional affairs – Cleveland Psychological Association. I assume this means he is an expert in the field of sexism. Could this mean that “River” due to his advanced level of education and the fact the website claims he has a professional license be held accountable to a higher standard than a lay person for the information that is disseminated on this site? I think that there is a legitimate basis for someone to file a formal complaint against this man with his professional licensing board. Same for “Heid” the site coordinator who claims to be in private counseling practice.
In regards to the posters who have been banned, Guest_guest, Free, Bevdee they may have a legitimate complaint against these professionals for inflicting psychological harm against them.
What is a grave concern to me is that “Free” mentioned that her childs nick name “TreeHugs” was re-routed to a porn site by the site coordinator. Since the site is annymous and there are no age restrictions this practice could seriously harm minors if not be downright illegal. Might want to report this to the authorities.
Then there is talk about people threatening to kill themselves on this site. I believe it is a licensed therapist legal obligation to report things of this nature to law enforcement. Danger to self or others.
Paul has very good judgement. I believe he not only found a site that is discriminating against males, but one that is a harm if not a threat to humanity in general.
October 14th, 2009 at 5:57 am
!! A very helpful post! Many thanks.
October 14th, 2009 at 6:22 am
Paul, you are welcome.
October 14th, 2009 at 3:21 pm
I wish I lived in cleveland. I’d take a day or two off to track this guy down and yell at him. This same basic guy is all over the place and needs to feel the wrath of us who suffer because of his bullshit. If anyone ever finds out about a guy like this in NW Chicago shout it out and I’ll make a scene at his place of business. As AH says, it’s all about generating heat. You gotta do it in the right place, though, no point in making the innocent suffer.
You gonna try to reason with people who have demonstrated no interest in reason?
October 14th, 2009 at 6:12 pm
This is a good point. There were posters that came on from time to time that said they were 14, 16, in high school. With total anonymity? The site had no way of knowing that was true, or not. Nor did they have any way of knowing whether a poster was not a minor.
For years a little girl named Jigs posted. I think she had leukemia. She was abused and neglected by her parents and was living in her grandmother’s home. I don’t know how old she was when she started posting – 11? 12?
I’m just fine – not traumatised or anything. I watched the site for a couple of years before entering the discussions. I participated actively for a couple of years – then went back to the watchtower. :~) It’s really easy to see when the site admin is posting, chumming for responses. They all come up in the same 15 minutes. I posted my thoughts about the site often enough I got banned.
I knew the risk. I had seen Twinks get banned for disagreeing with WD, and the SC. That was what opened my eyes to what was going on. Late night posts to her by the “SC” in one writing style. Early morning posts to her by the “SC” in another one. I knew there was more than one, and I knew that to stand firm when the SC(s) posted was to risk being banned. At that point, with the exception of a few threads, the site had deteriorated into chitchat or horrible fights, and I didn’t care.
One thing that really bothered me was the judgment passed on dv victims. The site allowed it. The judgmental posters justified it, were applauded by others, became victims, and those who came seeking support – left.
here are a couple
Mother unwilling to remove self & children from physical abuser…Please help!! [Ma Strong]
The official “SC” never intervened. Someone got pissed and started this thread -
Poster unwilling to treat people in a appropriate way…….Please Help…..
70some posts before “the site coordinator” officially intervened.
What ensued is not at all atypical of what went on at that site.
October 15th, 2009 at 9:59 am
On the subject of “Mandated Reporters” these are people who are mandated by law in the state of Ohio to report suspected child abuse. Among these people psychologists and counselors are listed. In other words if someone is claiming to be a victim of child abuse the admin. at AAC might be held legally responsible for reporting it. In my opinion if someone is blogging about child abuse it is really out of the scope of the unknown, lay people who are logging on to deal with it. I want to make it clear that I am in no way blaming the innocent people with problems who blog on the site, but I am holding the administrators who claim to be a licensed psychologists and a counselor for operating the site in accordance with the law.
October 15th, 2009 at 10:16 am
Priviledged communication. When a psychologist or counselor communicates with a person especially one they have recieved money from doesnt matter if it is in a form of a donatoin or not they have established a client patient relationship. At that point it is unprofessional conduct for a psychologist or counselor to share information with anyone without that persons permission i.e. when the “Site Cooridinator” logged onto the site and had publically broadcasted embarassing information to the 3 people she banned from the forum. This is something that can and should be reported to the professional board that licenses psychologists and counselors in Ohio.
October 15th, 2009 at 1:08 pm
I thought the word communicates, double underlined in green in the post above, would take me to the wording at AAC the supports something about communicating with people. Instead it’s an ad for Blackberry. Ya gotta be kidding me! Every where I frickin turn I swear.
November 7th, 2009 at 8:54 pm
[...] events began as an almost routine story about a mental health advocacy website spreading disinformation about domestic violence that [...]