Do men love women more than women love men?
If women really loved men just as much as men loved women:
*Why is it men that generally pay for dates?
*Why do men traditionally take most of the initiatives?
*Why do some women expect men to buy them so much stuff on Valentine’s Day? Why do so many women expect flowers, spa treatments, boxes of chocolate, and other gifts from men? Don’t men also deserve these things? Shouldn’t Valentine’s Day include both genders?
*Why do women generally expect men to buy them wedding rings? Are men not “special” enough to also get a ring?
*Why do divorced men commit suicide 10x as often as divorced women? Don’t women feel as much heartbreak after divorce?
*Why are 2/3 of breakups initiated by women? Are men less “likable”?
*Why are men traditionally objectified as disposable protectors, heroes, or breadwinners when many females seem to receive love based on their looks alone?
*Why do many women expect to be the ones to feel “protected” or “taken care of” like a princess or “damsel in distress”? Can’t a man expect these things too?
*Why are there so many more homeless men than women? Are homeless men less likely to marry and earn a woman’s love?
*Why is “chivalry” generally something that women expect from men?
*Why is the man the one expected to be the disposable “bodyguard” to get up at night if there is a loud noise?
*Why does society as a whole seem to have more compassion for “women and children” than men?
*Why do many women expect “crying privileges” and a shoulder to cry on at any moments notice? Why do many women perceive a man’s tears and vulnerability as “weakness”?
*Do women have any “protective instincts” for their men in the same way that some people claim that men have “protective instincts” for their women? If not, does this imply that women love men less than vice versa? After all, we tend to put more effort into protecting the things in life we value more.
*Do women love their children more than their husbands? Is a woman’s “chivalry” generally reserved only for her children (or pets)?
*Why does a man have to “earn” his way into a woman’s bed? Why are some men willing to pay for a prostitute while women would never sleep with a gigolo even for free?
*Why do men (much like job applicants) compete with other men to impress a woman(when she gets to play the role of the choosy employer)?
*Why are so few women or feminists willing to get in the trenches and help do society’s dirty work to help reduce male injury, male disposability, and the longevity gap?
*Why do women and feminists seem to care more about the glass ceiling than the glass cellar?
*Why do women and feminists seem to care more about the so-called pay-gap (which is a myth) than the female-dominated spending gap? Why do some women expect to spend most of the money that the man made?
*Why are there seemingly so many more chivalrous male feminists than female masculists?
*Why do many men treat women as “queens” when many women treat men as “worker bees”?
*Why are so many men “took to the cleaners” after a divorce? Don’t men have feelings like women do?
*How many women are willing to support a stay-at-home husband (and let him spend a large portion of her money)?
*Why do “tomboys” and “daddys girls” seem to be considered charming or cute while “mama’s boys” and “jill girls” seem to elicit images of laughing stocks that still live with their parents and are too “unmanly” or “lazy” to deserve a girlfriend?
*Why aren’t women sometimes made to feel “efemilated” by their mates in the same way that men are sometimes made to feel “emasculated” (it is telling that “efemilated” isn’t even considered a real word)? Why isn’t there a phrase “take it like a woman” to go with the phrase “take it like a man”?
*Why do many women (and men) seem to have pink ribbons on their cars for breast cancer awareness at the expense of also rallying for prostate cancer awareness? Is women’s health more important?
*Why do some women find it easier to slyly “support” or “thank” a man for engaging in dangerous work or war instead of actually showing real thanks by actually doing some of the dirty work themselves (after all, actions speak louder than words)?
*Why do some women not allow metrosexuals the same fashion privileges as themselves? Why are the mens departments so much smaller than the womens departments in many clothing stores?
I know I am generalizing a bit, but I think in general men are traditionally socialized to think of themselves as “less than” women and women are socialized to think of themselves as the proverbial “prize” to be fought for. As such, men could very well be at least half the problem for this less-than-savory state of affairs. At any rate, A first date with a woman can almost seem like a job interview to a man. It seems like many feminists and women want the good parts of traditional roles coupled with special treatment with their new roles. This is not progress….it is traditional and age-old expectations of pampered entitlement.
As for men, I think they need to drop that macho facade and demand better treatment for themselves (and other men). Machismo may indeed be a form of brainwashing to keep men “in their place”. Men are not disposable wallets, and shouldn’t expect to be treated that way by other men or women. They are human beings. I think society should advocate a “new chivalry” where we all protect and care for each other.
I think it would behoove men to consider if it is really worth it to love someone else who might not love them back equally. If a man is willing to “take a bullet” for his true love, it only seems fair that the woman would be willing to do the same for him.
Gender roles hurt us all. Feminists have made their case for equality. Now masculists have to continue doing the same (if true equality is the goal). True equality involves equality in relation to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. If this is indeed a goal of any given commonwealth, this means helping society close the life expectancy gap, disposability gap, female sentencing gap, spending gap, and establishing equal opportunities for finding joy. It might behoove masculists and feminists alike to join forces in achieving this goal. After all, it seems to me that most people are mindless robots who could essentially care less about masculism or feminism.
Note: This essay originally appeared in Transitions, a publication by NCFM.
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Stumble It!
Women get away with this crap because we let them.
You’ll say I’m being simplistic, but I mean it when I say “DON’T LET THEM”!
It’s a conscious choice, and it’s not easy, but it not only works, it makes them chase you.
Signed: Doormatnolonger
Hi Jon. I appreciate your response. But I think the men’s movement should use caution when using “biological” excuses to justify our dire situation. All that does is lead to “learned helplessness” and keep us in our oppressive state (almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy). I think we need to abolish such chivalry and the oppressive mantra “take it like a man”. After all, I have NEVER heard a feminist make biological excuses for rape, domestic violence, sex objectification, or any other issue…..except maybe to justify “female materialism” with the so-called biological “nest-building instinct” or the “maternal instinct”. Notice how feminists tend to make biological justifications only when it suits them. Notice how they also tend to make sociological justifications only when it suits them (such as blaming the patriarchy). This is a self-serving cognitive bias that I call the “nature/nurture disparity bias”.
If you wish, you can feel free to read one of my recent essays on MND called “Blaming biological destiny for male disposability is a form of learned helplessness.”
Other sources that tackle the issue of love vs. slavery include Esther Vilar’s “manipulated man” or Warren FArrell’s “myth of male power”.
I can’t speak for everyone, but I would NEVER fall in love with a woman who expects me to be more disposable and less pampered than herself. I don’t need sex that bad. Besides, how can sex be enjoyable when you are being manipulated? Where is the romance? I would rather be alone.
Esther Vilar:
Masculine=Hard
Feminine=Easy
Best,
Darrin
NCFM
Why do men enable women with the expectation of paying for dates and not expecting the same in return by continuing to do so?
Why do men enable women with the expectation of paying lavishly for Valentines Day and not expecting the same in return by continuing to do so?
For decades feminists have spread the lie that women lose the most after a divorce. Why have men said nothing about this lie publicly all this time?
Why do men enable women with the expectation that they are
disposable protectors, heroes, or breadwinners?
Why do men enable women with expectations of chivalrous privilege?
Why do men allow society (this includes males and females) to only have compassion for women and children but not men?
The Federal Government funds female health care policies/programs at a rate 8 times greater than for men. Why do men accept this silently?
Feminsist’s have spread the big lie for decades on college campus’ and in the main stream media that one-in-four females will be raped. Why have men silently sat by while their gender has been unfairly vilified for so long?
The VAWA vilolates the rights of all males including equal protection under the law. Why have men said nothing about this unconstitutional law?
The answers to your questions provides some understaning as to how women think.
The answers to my questions provides some understanding as to how men think. It seems to me that many of the enabling behaviors that men engage in contribute to the diminishing of men in the eyes of women. It seems to me that these also re-enforce the Female Superiority Complex.
Isn’t a lot of this stuff just left over from a time when a wife really was more worth than she was trouble? There are a few different things going on here. Much of it is related to what a man might do when he’s trying to get a woman to marry him. Some of is is related to the low value society places on men. Some of it is because men and women are biologically different. Some of it is because most modern women are spoiled brats. The points on this list could be broken down into several categories.
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Why do men care about women more than women care about men?
Marc Rudov’s absurd notion that women desire sex as much as men do not only ignores physiology (penis versus clitoris – size DOES matter), it also flies in the face of the development of gender relations since the beginning of organized humanity. Maybe the alpha males in our society, i.e., handsome columnists like Rudov, elicit that sort of response from women, but the average Joe sure doesn’t. Its the same reason that men in power sign off on lop-sided gender biased policy…..to eliminate the competition and increase their harem. Basic zoology.
Meanwhile, men have chivalrously and stupidly abrogated THEIR part of the social contract in the name of equality…..talk about the road to hell and good intentions……and like the petulant children we treat them as, women have not-so-graciously accepted male capitulation to the point of entitlement and the feminist’s idea of the natural order.
And the toothpaste is NOT going back in.
Nothing short of a catastrophic (for feminists) social revolution will stop the pendulum. Maybe the taliban are smarter than we give them credit for.
“It might behoove masculists and feminists alike to join forces in achieving this goal [of true gender equality].”
A well-written and thought-provoking essay. But as for this suggestion, one must remember that anything which can properly be called “feminism” is characterized by a desire to favor the feminine — at the expense and derogation of the masculine. This ideology is now about nothing but female superiority and the subjugation of male interests to female interests wherever they conflict. Nothing about “feminism” can possibly help to achieve true gender equality.
If gender equity is to be accomplished, it will, as usual, be up to men to do it — assisted by women who are capable of seeing that feminism is taking both men and women (and their tattered families) down the road to perdition, and so must be attacked, rooted out, and destroyed. Unfortunately, the incipient “masculist” ideology implicitly suffers from the same defect as feminism, only in mirror-image.
Comparing to the history of race relations is illustrative: blacks and whites joined together to press for civil rights — but without identifying that struggle as “Whitism” or “Blackism”! It is obvious that such labels would have only been confusing, divisive, and counter-productive.
The “ism’s” have to go, and common sense, common decency, and a common purpose to respect the differences between men and women must be allowed to flourish in their absence.
This is why I oppose feminism, but do not espouse masculism. Just as a desire to see women receive their rights as humans does not make one “feminist,” a desire to see men and fathers receive their rights as humans does not make one “masculist.”
As for women loving men as much as men demonstrate that they love women? Not a chance. This is why the biblical admonishment for a harmonious relationship is that men should love their wives, but women should only “submit” to their loving husbands. We don’t ask from folks what they are incapable of giving.
BTW, this doesn’t make women bad people — they just have different interests than men. Trouble is, if (as feminism insists) a woman refuses to submit to the loving authority of her husband, i.e., to give him respect as the head of his own household, and gratitude for his providing for and protecting her, then he can not continue to love her, and any feelings of love will die — to be replaced with self-loathing.
And we wonder why men and women just can’t seem to get it, or keep it, together these days?