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You Are Not a Princess! 25 Points for Women and Men to Consider

2009-12-23
By

I’ve been writing my own blog, A Shrink for Men, for almost a year now. In that time, I’ve noticed many double standards and gender inequities that seem to be culturally acceptable in relationships. Here are some of my observations for women to consider in terms of their own behavior and for men to consider in terms of their own enlightenment when it comes to women and relationships. [*Please note: The following points don't apply to all women.]

Hey ladies, and you know who you are:

1. You are not a princess. You do not deserve to be treated like royalty just by virtue of your sex. You deserve to be treated no better or worse than you treat others.

2. You are not any more “special” nor any more “entitled” than anyone else. You don’t deserve special privileges and nobody “owes” you anything by virtue of who you are or because of your gender.

3. You are just as “lucky” to have found your husband/boyfriend as he was to find you. Have you ever considered that there are times when you are lucky that he puts up with and tolerates you?

4. Men have feelings, too. They hurt just as much as you do when you criticize, reject, dismiss, ignore, make fun of, disrespect, invalidate and/or mock them. In fact, they may hurt more because they don’t have as many emotional outlets as you—especially if you tell him his feelings “don’t count” or to “be a man” when he expresses his feelings that you mistakenly claim he doesn’t have and/or is “wrong” for having. He has feelings and he has a right to them even when they’re not the same as yours and/or are expressed differently than you express yours.

5. If it’s okay for you to have male friends and maintain friendships with your exes, it’s also okay for your husband/boyfriend to have female friends and maintain friendships with his exes. It is not different for you because “you’re a woman.” It’s faulty logic to suppose women are inherently more trustworthy than men. This is called a double standard and it’s not okay. Otherwise, the culturally acceptable pronouncement, “Men are all dogs” should be met with “Women are all bitches” (i.e., female dogs) and should be equally culturally acceptable. For the record. I think both statements are unacceptable.

6. A father is just as important in a child’s life as a mother. Period. Just because you have a uterus doesn’t make you the better parent by default.

7. Children are not “hers” and “his” objects. The correct possessive pronoun is “ours.”

8. Your husband/boyfriend does not “owe” you. He shouldn’t be expected to financially support you and shower you with gifts unless you’re willing to reciprocate and equally support him without question or complaint. You’re neither his child nor his dependent. You’re supposed to be his equal partner.

9. Your husband’s/boyfriend’s desires, needs, wishes, feelings, likes and dislikes are just as important as yours. It’s not all about you all the time. You’re supposedly in a mutual and reciprocal relationship; not a service industry/client-vendor relationship.

10. If you’re not willing to make changes in yourself and your behavior,  you’ve no right to demand that your husband/boyfriend do so. Nor is it reasonable to demand or expect your husband/boyfriend to make all the changes you want first before you’re willing to do your own work.

11. You are not a better human being by virtue of being a woman. You’re not a goddess. You’re not a sacred cow. You don’t “rule.” You’re a person, just like your husband/boyfriend is a person. You both deserve to be treated with equal dignity and respect when you act and treat each other with dignity and respect.

12. It’s a lie and a manipulation to say you “sacrificed” your career when you never really wanted to work in the first place. If you see your husband/boyfriend as your ticket to freedom from being a wage slave, be honest with yourself and your husband/boyfriend and most important of all, BE GRATEFUL. Having another person pay your way through life is not an inalienable right; it’s an enormous gift for which you should express gratitude on a regular basis. You might also want to consider the burden by placing on your husband/boyfriend by not carrying your own weight.

13. It is wrong to use your child(ren) to hurt, control or extort money from your husband/boyfriend/ex. In fact, it borders on child abuse. Children are not pawns or human shields to be used for your own selfish reasons. They’re people who will later grow to resent you for using them in this fashion and will likely develop psychological problems of their own as a result.

14. It is wrong to expect or demand that your ex continue to financially support you after the relationship ends. The children are entitled to support until they become adults at the age of 18. You’re already an adult and, as such, you’re capable of and should legally be expected to take care of yourself— unless you’re willing to continue to support your ex by doing his grocery shopping, cooking cleaning, errands, etc. If your obligations to your husband are finished after a divorce, so should be his obligations to you.

15. Your husband/boyfriend is not responsible for your happiness. It isn’t his job to make you happy; that’s your job. Just as he is responsible for his own happiness. He’s supposed to be your equal partner, not your emotional wet nurse.

16. The desire for sex in a committed, loving relationship is healthy and natural. Using sex to control, shame or hurt your husband/boyfriend by withholding affection or making sex transactional is unhealthy and wrong.

17. Your husband/boyfriend should be more important to you than your child(ren) just as you should be more important to your husband than the child(ren). In other words, you should be each others’ first priorities; children second. You don’t need a husband if your sole desire is to have children—unless you see the man as a source of income for yourself and the children. If you can’t support yourself, you probably shouldn’t be having children. Marriage is a bond between two grown adults; not a bond between parent and child (Marc Rudov, 2008). You vow to honor your spouse and put him or her before all others, this includes your children. Children eventually fly the coop. If you make them the focus and raison d’être of your marriage, don’t be surprised when you no longer have much of a marriage as the years pass.

18. You are only entitled to what you earn or produce. Men are neither beasts of burden nor “working boys” to be pimped out in the service of their partners or ex-partners. No one owes you a living. As an adult, you’re not entitled to be taken care of by another party unless you have documented cognitive or physical disabilities that prohibit you from working. Last time I checked, being a wife, ex-wife, girlfriend, ex-girlfriend, mistress, ex-mistress, mother and/or simply a woman wasn’t considered a disability.

19. It is just as ABUSIVE when a woman slaps, kicks, hits, spits, at, scratches, shoves, pushes, punches, pulls hair, uses a weapon, swings a golf club at or throws objects at a man. It isn’t funny, cute, justifiable or deserved. It is indefensible, inexcusable, criminal and just as prosecutable as when a man acts violently toward a woman. Period.

20. The same goes for emotional abuse. It is unacceptable.

21. It is neither “normal” nor “acceptable” adult female behavior to throw temper tantrums, withhold sex, cry, rage, pout, have disproportionate reactions to events or be unable to control emotions and behaviors. At the very least, these are signs of emotional lability and poor impulse control; at worst, these are indicators of serious pathology and quite possibly some kind of personality disorder.

22. It is not okay to divert money from your joint checking/savings account(s) or open credit cards in your husband’s/boyfriend’s name without his knowledge and explicit permission. The first instance is stealing and the second is considered identity theft and fraud. Signing your husband’s/boyfriend’s signature to financial and legal documents is forgery. All of these actions are illegal.

23. It is irresponsible to live beyond your means and abusive to expect your husband/boyfriend to foot the bill or go into debt to cover your expenses. If you can’t responsibly use a credit/debit card then, much like a child, you shouldn’t have one.

24. It is never acceptable or permissible to threaten to deny your husband/boyfriend/ex access to the children you share. It is not okay to make up abuse allegations because you’re feeling angry, hurt or out of control. This is an act of slander (spoken) or libel (written) and if you swear to it in court, it’s also an act of perjury.

25. It is not fair to commit to or marry a man and then try to change him. If you don’t accept him as he is, just like you expect him to accept you and your faults, then you have no business being with him. Everyone has a right to feel accepted for who he or she is in a relationship. If he’s “not good enough” for you from the get go; keep looking and cut him loose so he can be with a woman who appreciates him.

All of these observations seem self-evident to me, which leads me to ponder, how did we get here?

by Dr Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD

Originally posted on shrink4men on December 15, 2009.

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  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kathryn-Carr/636619470 Kathryn Carr

    Firstly, I would like to say that for partners who genuinely love and cherish one another, there is no such thing as undeserved, “too” good treatment, except when the traffic is all one way.
    Women and men who are in love SHOULD treat one another like royalty. There is something very seriously wrong when either one partner is receiving treatment inferior to what he or she is putting in to the relationship, or when both partners treat each other as inconsequential. This is very damaging to health.
    I like to think that I am more special to my boyfriend than a remote passerby for example, just as he is more important to me than the passerby. Indeed, in a healthy relationship, both partners feel lucky to have found one another, and a feeling of unworthiness is never to be encouraged by either partner.
    When you say a man is “entitled to express emotions differently”, what exactly do you mean? Are we talking about expressing sadness or disappointment using weapons, destroying belongings, intimidating whilst the other partner speaks reasonably?  Because these things can never be considered part of a normal relationship.
    Are you saying that a father who does such things is still entitled to contact regardless of the well being of the children? Are you saying that a father has no obligation to participate in child-rearing because he is entitled to have it all done by the woman? 
    It seems to me that you are saying that in order for a partner to refrain from behaving badly, a woman must  give up some of her human rights and freedom, (i.e. if he is to stop being violent, she must stop spending time with friends and family.)
    Raising children is a noble and difficult job, and her contribution to the household in doing so should not be ignored simply because her work is unpaid. When a male does not refuse his fair share of the upkeep of the family unit or refrains from simply sitting back and watching his partner struggle, how exactly is that a matter for gratitude? It is a responsibility. What’s next? Thanking every law-abiding person for committing no crime? Does the mother often complain that she gets no gratitude for all her hard work? If so, are her opinions validated or not?
    So you are saying that a woman who has no career because of the demands of family life should expect to be on the scrapheap doomed to poverty if her husband runs off with a younger model once the children grow up? Or if the woman is escaping abuse?
    Responsible for own happiness? Does that mean that you should never expect support, encouragement or affection from a male?
    Put husband before children? In other words if Daddy wants to spend every penny on booze and starve you and the children, you have a duty to put up with it.
    It is wrong to withhold sex? In other words, if a man demands sex, you have an obligation to provide it instantly. To hell with bodily autonomy, his needs are more important than yours!There is no such thing as rape because he has a right to sex, and even if there was, it’s ok. Even in the presence of your children. You shouldn’t be such a diva crybaby as to expect him to consider your feelings.
    It’s not okay to access household funds if the husband has earned them. But if he feels entitled to every penny you earn, you’d better hand them over or else! If your husband withholds bank cards in your name, even if it means leaving you stranded, all it means is that your husband deserves your wages, and you deserve to be in danger bereft of the necessities of life. All the debts should be in the woman’s name, especially if the husband coerces her into buying things then berates her judgement for agreeing when she has no money left.
    No such thing as abused women in this day and age, and all women who say it happened to them are slanderers, libelous and committing perjury. You should never feel hurt or angry at an ex who has mistreated you, because men are entitled to treat women like dirt! What a silly girl you are for thinking you deserve to be treated like a human being.
    If your husband is an alcoholic, and you beg him to get help, it isn’t him who is at fault- it’s you! How dare you try to change him. He knows best!

  • Squiggy

    First off, any man who has to ask ‘permission’ from his wife isn’t a man.  Second off, ‘joint accounts’ are invitations to disaster, anyway.  And it isn’t always the man who causes the problem (it wasn’t in my case).

    And you’re wrong about the ‘prince’ thing too.  Any man who doesn’t act like the ‘king of the castle’ will be treated like crap by his wife.  Women don’t want wusses.   If you act like a wuss, you’re wife will treat you like one.

  • John Solis

    Saga1916 says:

    “it is obvious from real life experiences that a baby and young infant is better cared for by a female in any species”

    More kids are killed by
    neglect and abuse in a year (1,460 in 2005), than all the female intimate
    partner homicides in a year (1,181 in 2005). And mothers are the single largest group of kid killers. http://tinyurl.com/62rora  U.S. Dept of Health and Human Services

    http://tinyurl.com/3xgllyv 
    U.S.Dept of Justice Statistics

    Mothers KILL twice as many of their offspring as fathers!  What is “obvious” is the cover-up

  • John Solis

    Progress Energy has a pop up plastered over the first paragraph of this article.  I cannot seem to remove it.
    It’s an example of “Rude People”.

  • John Solis

    Progress Energy has a pop up plastered over the first paragraph of this article.  I cannot seem to remove it.
    It’s an example of “Rude People”.

  • Facebook User

    Those species, they include fathers as well, who eat their young do so for survival purposes; they either feed their offspring and starve to death or they feed themselves and if they’re is no food for even their parents their own recourse is to eat their newborns.

  • Facebook User

    If I’m with a man and he sulks because I can’t see him every night then it’s hasta la vista to him.

    Flag

  • Facebook User

    If I’m with a man and he sulks because I can’t see him every night then it’s hasta la vista to him.

  • Facebook User

    Advice for men:  you are not a prince and you do not act like or think of yourself as the King of the Castle once married. You are not a better person because of your gender.  It’s not fair on your girlfriend or wife to try and change her.  Your girlfriend or wife is not responsible for your happiness.  It is not OK to divert money from your joint account without your wife’s permission.

  • myth buster

    Saga, nurturing without discipline smothers a child’s growth. A child needs a nurturing mother AND a loving and involved father to teach sons how to be responsible and daughters how to have a healthy self-image. Neither entitlement nor self-deprecation is healthy, and children that are not raised well often wind up with serious self-inflicted problems when they get older.

  • http://avoiceformen.com/ Paul Elam

    @ Jess

    You are missing the forest for the trees. I can answer the question easily enough and Dr. Palmatier can correct me if need be.

    There is nothing wrong with crying, or withholding sex or even raging for that matter, in the appropriate circumstance, e.g. you have caught your partner cheating.

    What she is referring to, along with the other behaviors mentioned, are clearly efforts at gaining control over another person in the normal context of the relationship.

    Some women cry because they know men will abandon their own desires and give her what she wants. It is emotional blackmail, a manipulative tool indicative of an immature person at best, at worst, a real personality disorder.

    If I am with a woman and she cries because I am going to a movie with my buddies, it is hasta la vista, baby. And it should be.

  • jess

    “21. It is neither “normal” nor “acceptable” adult female behavior to throw temper tantrums, withhold sex, cry, rage, pout, have disproportionate reactions to events or be unable to control emotions and behaviors. ”

    what’s wrong with crying?

  • T.R. Torrez

    I agree with Dr. Tara’s response to Dave regarding a father’s ability to bond with their children, especially infants. I’m divorced from my children’s mother

    In my case with both of my children(now 4.5 yr-old and 9.5 year-old), the only activity I didn’t participate in with our children was breast feeding. Other than that, I was the primary nurturing parent and my children knew very early on which of their parents to turn to to be coddled and nurtured.

    I wouldn’t know how ‘naturally’ my fathering instincts unfolded, because I only have my experience from which to refer, but I grew up in a very large family and extended family and I developed a very strong caretaking ability very early in my life, which our children have benefited from, despite being part of broken marriage homes.

    I say, if a man WANTS to care for his children, and puts forth the effort to ask questions and learn about those activities which do not come as ‘naturally’ as for a women, then he’ll do great. Ask when you don’t know (and even when you do to verify) is the key to a happy, healthy, whole child and parent-child relationship.

  • Ms_Fu

    Great article! I actually just read Dr. Laura’s book “The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands” which has similar points. I am young adult woman and I am neither married nor have a boyfriend, but boy am I glad that I read this article! I want to be the best wife I can be to my future husband and I know that means treating him as I want to be treated.

  • Trust

    Dr. Tara,

    Do you have any opinions about women who are kind, respectful, affectionate, and sexual until marriage and children, and overnight stop and start making their husbands live celibate?

    I respect your opinions, so I’m just curious what it would be in this regard. Many women are quite convincing before they get the security of marriage (or, they just act differently when their options are different).

  • http://shrink4men.wordpress.com Dr Tara J. Palmatier

    @ Dave

    There are many species in which the mother eats her young.

    “Fathers are often portrayed as well meaning, but bumbling, when caring for newborns. Fathers are sometimes considered secondhand nurturers, nurturing the mother as she nurtures the baby. That’s only half the story. Fathers have their own unique way of relating to babies, and babies thrive on this difference.

    In fact, studies on father bonding show that fathers who are given the opportunity and are encouraged to take an active part in caring for their newborns can become just as nurturing as mothers. A father’s nurturing responses may be less automatic and slower to unfold than a mother’s, but fathers are capable of a strong bonding attachment to their infants during the newborn period. ” (http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/T101100.asp)

    For whatever reason, the experts refer to infant-father bonding as “engrossment,” which I think is nonsense. It is bonding between the father and infant; not reading the Sunday Times or watching the game.

    It’s amazing how language confers a lesser status to father-infant bonding when the research indicates that the father-infant bond (if given the chance to develop” can be just as strong as the infant- mother bond.

  • Dave

    Saga1916 says:
    “it is obvious from real life experiences that a baby and young infant is better cared for by a female in any species”

    Hmmm… I believe the relevant portion here is “any species”, need I say more?

  • http://www.unitywall.com TXM

    Her article ended with, “How did we get here?”

    Yes, that is a truly excellent question. These things are all so obvious. Why do they even need to be written down?

    Here’s another good question; “Why have I ever put up with anything less than these minimum standards?” Frankly, the article sounded a little bit like a long over due ass chewing. I think I’m going to post these on my wall, so that I can look at them before going out on dates.

    Very little was discussed in this artile about how wonderful a good, decent woman can make a man feel (and I assume the other way around too). But I know we’ll never make it to that level if we can’t manage these basics first. Not following these natural laws is what leads to all the junk and pain in relationships.

    Final question; “How do we get from here to where we need to be?”

  • Sage99@googlemail.com

    @ Dave
    2009-12-27 at 5:50 pm

    You missed my relevant comment which is as follows –

    “Saga1916
    2009-12-24 at 1:33 am

    daveinga
    DonnieH
    Bombay

    I was referring to women and men in general, not a particular case, and it is obvious from real life experiences that a baby and young infant is better cared for by a female in any species – in general, but not always.
    To try to deny the maternal instinct is just not accurate. So I stand by my comment.”

    I repeat, please read the comments more carefully.

    Do not expect any further replies from me.

  • Dave

    Saga1916 says:
    “Please re-read the first sentence of my comment.”

    OK

    Saga1916 @ 2009-12-23 at 9:31 am
    “I really enjoyed reading Dr. Tara J. Palmatier article and – although I read it with great care a number of times – could not find anything to really disagree with. (How irritating!) But I did note one small point;”

    Sorry, I still don’t see “simian” mentioned anywhere.

    Regardless of whether you are talking about apes, cows or chickens, you are still comparing apples to oranges when you try to compare their parenting values to that of humans. So why don’t we concentrate on the relevant species?

    History has shown how time after time, HUMAN fathers have sacrificed their health, their emotional wellbeing and their very lives to protect and provide for their families. As for their value to children, there is a vast amount of research that shows how “well” children are doing in our current society without a father involved oin their lives.

    It should be clear to any rational being that instead of wasting time and money arguing about which parent is better (based on nothing more than Victorian era gender roles) we should be concentrating on keeping both parents involved with their children.

  • Pingback: Social Mirror: In Your Face » Blog Archive » You Are Not a Princess! 25 Points for Women and Men to Consider

  • Saga1916

    @ Dave
    2009-12-24 at 2:32 am

    Please re-read the first sentence of my comment.

    ‘Barnyard animals‘? I refer mainly to simians.

    Please read comments more thoroughly.

  • http://at498a.blogspot.com Gokul.P.R

    Nicely put, gender equality in true sense also entails this!.

  • Geoff

    They need to teach this stuff to kids in college through Men’s Studies Courses. We need to counter the indoctrination of Women’s Studies Courses. Good work, should be posted on every man’s refrigerator door.

  • http://shrink4men.wordpress.com Dr Tara J. Palmatier

    Hi Saga1916,

    I don’t mind the feedback. However, I stand by my original point. I think the “tender years” doctrine doesn’t hold water. Aside from being able to breast feed, I think a father is just as capable of nurturing infants and young children as women. Of course there are individual exceptions in both sexes.

    It seems that women don’t really want to be viewed “equal to” men, but rather “equal to and greater than.” I’m all for equality (or equity) between the sexes, which means we also need to let go of the long cherished myths that women are more nurturing, better communicators, etc.

    I know many men who are better communicators than women I know and vice versa. Ditto on emotionally nurturing.

    Happy hols,
    Dr Tara

  • Virtue

    Man I wish I knew folks like you 20 years ago~!! I knew I wasn’t crazy to believe things like this !

  • pj1

    Very good article!

    One point I wanted to outline: “The children are entitled to support until they become adults at the age of 18…”

    ~I think in MA child support can be extened to the age of 25 if the child happens to be an adult who decides to stay in college.

    So the check still goes to the ex or mother or whatever, and the grown “child” in school and probably not living at home is still financially “supported”

    Lets throw some more weight on the man-mule… MA is liberal disaster area, and the corrupt laws here are spreading.

  • Dave

    Saga1916,

    I am a human being and a single father. Please do not try to predict my behavior or my parenting skills by your observations of the bahavior of barnyard animals, we get enough of that from our so-called “family court” judges. Besides, if members of my gender are clever enough to figure out how to safely transport people and robotic probes from this planet to other worlds (something we have yet to see a cow or a hen accomplish), then I think we can figure out how to care for children.

    As for maternal instincts, it appears that far too many people are eager to dismiss the paternal instinct. History has proven time and time again how fathers have readily sacrificied themselves to protect and provide for their families. Too bad our current generation does not appreciate these sacrifices nor the love that motivated them.

  • Saga1916

    daveinga
    DonnieH
    Bombay

    I was referring to women and men in general, not a particular case, and it is obvious from real life experiences that a baby and young infant is better cared for by a female in any species – in general, but not always.

    To try to deny the maternal instinct is just not accurate. So I stand by my comment.

  • Trust

    Yet another great article by Dr. T. I tend to find myself wanting to say something if for no other reason than to be able to check the “Notify me of followup comments via e-mail” box.

    I wish I could get my wife to read Dr. Tara.

    Merry Christmas to everyone!

  • daveinga

    saga1916 – i disagree. there is not one day in the life of a child that a mom is more important than a dad, or vice versa. what is the first word almost every child says? DAD!

    and making and accepting false assumptions w/o anyone ever questioning them for 4 + decades is how we “got here”.

  • Mickey Tagliaferri

    Amazing, amazing, and amazing that you have to post this kind of seventh gade stuff.

    How did we ever learn how to split the atom?

    But, there is obviuosly a need for it, and you see it.

    Thanks anyway.

  • Jim

    I agree with EVERY point you made.

    It’s too bad that you will never hear any of this on any tv network or MSM. It’s more like 24-7 male bashing.

    Thanks for writing this.

    If more women had the same healthy mentality that you do there would be a lot less divorce and and a lot more happy couples in this country.

  • allen tucker

    Now…if we could just get the vagina-centric , self crotch-centric government to realize this legally….men might be completly safe in public and the united states actually worthy of defending as a male go’s. Sorry vets ,but if “your” country forgets to protect me civil wise , I conveinantly return the the favor as deserved . Favor for favor ….

  • Masculist

    This article is probably one of the best I have read in regards to true equality. Great job. I really appreciate your writing, especially since I have a masters degree in Psychology myself.

    I think men and women are equally to blame for all this mess. Too many men are convinced to treat women like children and too many women are convinced to be treated like children. Neither side seems to notice the fact that women are NOT children!! If chivalry isn’t dead, then it should be! Too many men are taught to “play the hero” which leads to the disposability gap. And too many women are taught to “play the spoiled princess” which can lead to learned helplessness and entitlement. Too many men are taught to love/protect women. Too many women are taught to “respect” their men. Respect and love should be given/received equally.

    True equality involves an equal right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Equal PAIN and equal PAMPERING.

    “The strength of woman is her facade of weakness; the weakness of man is his facade of strength”-approximate quote by Lawrence Diggs.

    “It is hard to expect a man to be tender when he is expected to be tenderizer”-approximate quote from Warren Farrell

    Masculist

  • Denis

    This should be sent to all males who came of age in the 1960s. These guys believe women are princesses since they have been enabling the above behavior for decades.

    The problem isn’t just the women.

  • Michael

    I really enjoyed reading Dr Tara Palmatier’s article. Some much needed common sense given here. Here in the United Kingdom, the “entitled princess” is in our heritage. Some women, not all feel that just because of their gender they’re entitled to a free meal ticket and can be just as hurtful and mean as some men can be.

  • DonnieH

    “I frowned slightly at this as I wondered about the nurturing female hormones and the maternal instinct”

    In the instance of my sister, her “maternal instinct” compelled her to keep each of three children on multiple antibiotics pretty much continuously for the first decade or so of their lives. Now, none of them have much of an immune system, are constantly ill, and are allergic to pretty much everything. Is that what you mean by “maternal instinct”?

    Another thought- if it’s so darn instinctual, why do women need so many books and magazine articles on basic parenting issues?

  • Bombay

    That females are better nurtures than males is a myth whether you invoke female hormones or maternal instinct.

  • Saga1916

    I really enjoyed reading Dr. Tara J. Palmatier article and – although I read it with great care a number of times – could not find anything to really disagree with. (How irritating!) But I did note one small point;

    “6. A father is just as important in a child’s life as a mother. Period. Just because you have a uterus doesn’t make you the better parent by default.”

    I frowned slightly at this as I wondered about the nurturing female hormones and the maternal instinct – perhaps these are really important only in the very early stages of childhood, up to 8 or 9 perhaps?

    I hope you do not mind the feedback : )







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