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Abuse Shelters: Havens for Feminist Thought Reform

2010-01-04
By

Feminists will argue until they’re blue in the face that women are victims of the Great Satanic Patriarchy. That tenet is laughable when one considers women are leading men on almost every indicator of social welfare.

But give them credit, feminists are a determined bunch. So in their crusade to spread the gospel of female victimization, they have established a network of domestic violence shelters around the nation. These programs resemble socialist thought reform experiments more than anything that can be considered to be professional counseling or crisis intervention.

To gain admittance to such facilities one must of course be female – after all, male victims of domestic violence are unlikely to benefit from a regimen of patriarchal deprogramming.

Second, the woman must make the ritualistic claim of being a victim to abuse. Any type of abuse will suffice: emotional, financial, or anything else that comes to mind. No police report, no medical record, no proof of any kind is required. “Always believe the victim,” goes shelter managers’ circular logic.

In his classical account of Chinese brainwashing, Thought Reform and the Psychology of Totalism, Robert Lifton recounts how newly-arrived inmates were assigned to a holding cell where they were subjected to ridicule, abuse, and physical hazing by the more veteran residents.

Such is the all-too-frequent experience of women in abuse shelters. One woman, Eileen Pope, spent months inside the YWCA Hope House in Charleston, W. Va. “I often felt unsafe. There were several physical and verbal altercations between the shelter residents. I had clothing stolen from me,” she later related: http://www.renewamerica.com/columns/roberts/090824

Once they settle into shelter routines, the women come to realize they have become unwitting guinea pigs of an ideological bait-and-switch. At Bethany House in Fairfax, Va., employees would reportedly “infuriate the woman with propaganda.” One client at a Massachusetts shelter found the real message was to “accept the indoctrination and embrace my victimhood.”

The ladies, many of whom are poor, are ordered to attend classes featuring repetitive mantras like “domestic violence is all about power and control.” The focus of these sessions is the Power and Control Wheel, a pedagogical device that recalls V.I. Lenin’s famous dictum, “We must be engineers of the human soul.”

Social isolation being requisite for proper consciousness-raising, the women must also agree to cut off communications with their abuser. Safehorizon in New York City goes one step further, requiring its residents to “sever relationships with family and friends,” according to the organization’s website.

Such policies call to mind Robert Lifton’s account of the experience of one concentration camp survivor: “Our souls were entirely open. It was complete confidence. We could trust the government.”

Ritual denunciations were an important feature of Chinese brainwashing camps, with inmates called upon to censure their fathers for horrendous yet vague crimes. Abuse shelters likewise demand their residents denounce patriarchy and its putative evils.

A quarter to one-half of women in abuse shelters are currently abusing alcohol or drugs: http://www.radarsvcs.org/docs/RADARreport-Are-Abuse-Shelters-Helping-True-Victims.pdf . But don’t expect to find any substance abuse treatment programs on site. That would be much too bourgeoisie.

Shelter residents enjoy no right to privacy. I have heard from women about confidences shared with shelter workers that were later passed on to Child Protective Services and other shelter residents. One woman revealed, “Nothing was confidential and what I discussed with staff was being discussed with clients.”

Complaints are verboten because they betray reactionary resistance. The miscreants may be summarily exited from the facility. At Womencare in Bellingham, Wash., a blind woman had who been forced to assume a new name to escape her abuser had her identity outed when she filed a complaint about lax safety procedures: http://www.renewamerica.com/columns/roberts/080715

Not surprisingly, shelter managers do everything in their power to keep law enforcement officers at bay. At Another Way in Lake City, Fla., a former employee wrote, “I, on numerous occasions reported illegal drug use that I had witnessed take place on Shelter property and often my complaints were ignored. We always knew not to call the law unless you were prepared to be unemployed.”

Given these experiences, it’s no surprise that women opt to return to their abuser rather than continue to subject themselves to this grandiose government-financed brainwashing experiment.

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  • Greg S. Hanson Cedar Rapids Iowa

    Around 1982 I had befriended a woman in my
    apartment building who was divorced and going
    to DV “classes” for victims in Minneapolis.

    She complained that the “”classes”" seemed to be
    an attempt to indoctrinate women to hate men and
    to Lesbianism. She paid me a compliment when
    she told me that despite all of their talk about how
    bad men are, that I was proof to her that there
    are good men out there.

    A decade later, in 1994, I called the Police
    because my BIPOLAR wife had baseball pitched
    a half full can of Pepsi and bounced it off the
    back of my skull.

    It left a spray pattern and a small lump.

    While I was on the phone to the 911
    operator my wife was “in my face” and
    trying to wrestle the phone away from
    me but I just gently pushed her to
    sit down on the couch.

    The Police could visibly see the evidence
    of what she had done, but per protocol,
    a female officer took her to the next room
    and “”vacuumed”" for accusations from her.

    Knowing she was going to JAIL, she was
    eager to tell them that I had pushed her
    to the couch.

    The Police actually told me that we would
    be getting “Marriage Counseling”.

    We both plead guilty and scheduled matching
    2 day jail sentences. I pointed out to the Judge
    that she had married us only a month before.
    She didn’t want that announced loudly.
    The gallery all laughed about our matching
    jail sentences but also laughed about the
    Judges dismay at having married us so recently.

    We were BOTH legally perpetrators.

    She went to “Women’s Educational Program” WEP
    and I went to the “Batterer’s Education Program” (BEP).
    Apparently even though she was the primary perpetrator
    she had been placed in a “poor little me victims class”
    because they didn’t HAVE a perpetrator class for women.

    Meanwhile I was in the S.O.B. class for evil perpetrators.

    The Power And Control wheel that somebody else
    mentioned in comments became extremely familiar.

    One interesting aspect of the DULUTH METHOD
    BEP classes is that you are convicted for one thing
    but they expect you to admit to 11 other kinds of
    abuse as presented around the abuse wheel.

    No explanation or mitigation whatsoever is tolerated.
    Not the fact that my then wife was severely BIPOLAR.
    Not the fact that I was a COUNTER charge.
    Not the fact that I had actually been assaulted.

    Failure to comply there means JAIL.

    One of these “”facilitators”" made a comment
    about how abusers seek out submissive women
    and I pointed out that my Mom ran two businesses,
    and of all the women I’ve known I’ve never met
    a submissive woman. I asked where I could meet
    one of these submissive women!

    She almost kicked me out of the class (into JAIL).

    Meanwhile my wife was coming back from her classes
    laughing about how the women in her “”victims”"
    class were all “bruisers” resembling Bluto from
    the Popeye cartoons. She remarked that none of
    them actually looked like victims.

    I once went to where my wife was having
    these “poor little me victim classes” to ask
    the instructors if my wife was actually going
    to get ANY counseling for being the primary
    perpetrator.

    Two of the female facilitators actually came
    down the hallway arm in arm to meet me.

    They put out an urgent call like there was
    a crisis, and nothing could proceed until
    they got me in a room with three women.
    (Like I was going to do a King Kong on them?)

    I pointed out that putting a beligerant
    BIPOLAR woman who was an offender
    into a class and urging the women to
    fight back that evil nasty man was not
    the brightest idea. I asked if she was
    going to get ANY counseling for offending
    in the victims class. They had no interest
    in reassuring me.

    About two years later I heard from a female
    friend who fessed up that she got drunk and
    assaulted her husband. Since it was very
    one sided and done at a party in front of
    a number of people, she was toast.

    But the system had switched to putting
    female perpetrators into actual perpetrator
    classes.

    I had told her what I had gone through,
    and she remembered that when she was
    in the classes. She told me that the
    first words out of the instructors mouth
    were that they know the women didn’t
    actually DO what they were in there for.

    By saying this, they partly dismissed the
    meaning of the court, judge and conviction.

    My friend KNEW from my description that
    this was something they would NEVER
    say to a men’s class!

    Later, when I publicly commented about
    the badgering, vilification and S.O.B. attitude
    presented in the classes I was informed that
    these are common complaints about the
    DULUTH METHOD and that there are very
    serious questions about the effectiveness
    of this method, but that the militant
    Feminists had gotten this DULUTH METHOD
    locked in place by LAW, across the USA.

    None of the competing methods or programs
    are allowed to be tried in any jurisdiction.

    It’s not really a secret that the coven of
    militant feminists in Duluth, MN were
    predominantly Lesbians in the 1980′s.
    Some of their radical activities advertised
    this later in the 1980′s.

    Politically incorrect perhaps, but true.

    Apparently SOME factions within Feminism
    in the 1990′s actually expressed concern
    about the statistics on females initiating
    physical violence vs. presuming male guilt.
    They said it denies or discounts women’s
    capacity for violence and they expressed
    that they fear it will set women back
    because it will make so many men bitter
    and force men to be “”lawyered up” from
    the start of every relationship.

    In the 1990′s I also befriended a woman
    who had worked in a battered women’s
    shelter as an intake worker. She stated
    matter of factly that some women filed
    domestic violence charges ONLY so they
    could get into the shelter!

    But my favorite tidbit is the poster that I
    stole from the wall inside our local social
    services agency that was an appeal to
    women that if their man was restricting
    their spending habits he was guilty of
    economic abuse and suggesting what the
    poster called the “Domestic Abuse Option”.

    Greegor47@gmail.com

  • Roderick

    I enjoyed reading this piece.

    In the early 1980s in New Zealand.
    I, my three sisters and my fathers so called girlfriend Julia – and her four little girls.
    Spent a few hours on a Saturday morning, at one of those woman shelters.
    Apparently to visit a weedy little man who out of charity provided the actual property.

    I was maybe eleven years old but my aspergers syndrome allows me to recall this event with clarity.

    The scruffy back yard was overlooked by a gang of dodgy rough looking woman, chain smoking and leaning against the back of the house.
    I think one ‘victim’ even had a beer.

    So us eight children were shuffled out on the grass, in front of this surly unwholesome rabble, – all looking at our shoes as usual, mumbling at each other.

    Dad was looking at his shoes too, and if I attempted to speak to him he would aggressively growl at me. (under his breath of course).
    It had only been months since Julia had taken over my family our home and belongings.
    She didn’t approve of us speaking to our father.

    Julia’s shrill voice was announcing herself. I immediately recognized the change in pitch when she received no response.

    And then on cue, – her dyspraxic, permanently traumatized 3-4 year old daughter, climbed up the kiddies climbing frame and hung up-side down.
    Bare arse facing the dirty dozen.

    Julia went ballistic, she wanted to kick the girls f-ing teeth out.
    Nobody humiliates Julia in public.
    What was needed now was a show of female empowerment!

    No point – with the three and a half year old.
    She was white a sheet and stiff as a board, with the customary staring into space.
    Julia turns on her oldest (five years). Tear’s into her for not dressing her sister.
    Four little girls start crying.

    She then blames me and my three sister’s (oldest being twelve),
    – and then turns on Dad. Scream, scream, scream.
    The situation is so serious, Dad forced to drive over an hour to retrieve the panties from home – he works all week.

    Some of the alleged D.V victims are impressed, – go girl!!!
    Julia joins the smokeathon.

    With my father gone, Julia now has the privacy and safety she needs to discusses her suffering and powerlessness among the other victims of domestic violence.

    When Dad returns with the panties, we leave for home ten minutes later.
    Julia is still shouting in the car. I am given a list of chores to complete because of my roll in all of this.

    Based on years of this.
    I sometimes wonder if this whole morning was a set up.
    The purpose being: a lesson to my father – that Julia never stands for any abuse – from any man.

    Roderick.

  • JTG

    Actually, yes I got that. And I got that that presumed “ALL women” attitude was an attitude ascribed by wannabevirginiawoolf to others … meaning the assumption of “ALL” was WBVF’s assumption. Clear enough now? (Honestly, though – I really didn’t think that level of explication was necessary; even here. Apparently, I was mistaken.)

  • rohara

    @JTG

    You seem to have misinterpreted the article when the author speaks about the treatment of women going to these shelters who are on medication. He is attributing the attitude that “all women can’t be trusted” to the shelter workers themselves. Did you not get that?

  • Vic Maltby

    @ JTG—drink it!

  • JTG

    OK, let’s try it again for the slow:

    ” The scientific inconsistency and (the) dubious morality of ANY CLAIM by one gender to describe the state, condition, needs, experiences, or the value of the other gender.” (emphasis added)

    These comments, this ”… what we do here …” make up a rolling compendium of exactly such “dubious claim(ing)” (built most consistently on what Wikipedia classifies in its standards as “weasel words”) – yet the Honorable Elam feels that what most needs immediate spinning into butter is … any pointing out that such are such. And this rather than taking the least trouble to address any of the very comments that run expressly, overtly, irredeemably and fully counter to the sites espoused principles.

    What can we from this most reliably conclude consist the Honorable Elam’s ”PRINCIPI E FINALITA”?

  • JTG

    lord god above but you people need some basic education in statistics and logic.

    re “if they happen to be on meds, those are immediately taken for safe keeping in the event someone else steals it or in the event that she decides to overdose. That pretty much sums up the idea that all women steal and that have no control and will likely commit suicide.”

    ALL women …”?

    1. what percentage of women go to shelters because of abuse? I dolt know, do you? You could find out. divide the # of women in the united States in a year into the number of women who go into abuse shelters in a year. VOILA! a percentage. what do you think it is? 10% of American women? That would be somewhere in the realm of 10 million plus, wouldn’t it. Maybe perhaps less than 1%? You tell me, expert on “ALL women”.

    2.a. what percentage of women who go to shelters go there with meds in their possession? That’s a harder figure to determine, I would think. C\are to make your guess? I assume you wooed be happy to whip a figure out of your ass, since you’re so confident about what makes up “ALL women”

    but, then, you have to run THAT percentage (2) against the other percentage (1) – and get what? A fraction of a fraction of 1% of women in America – which you are comfortable calling “ALL women.”

    Of course, there is no need to take into account that a women taking medication might be in some sort of fragile state that persuaded their doctors to prescribe said medication. Nor top take into account the possibility that women who have reached the point where they flee their homes to flee abuse might be in a fragile state wherein medication might present a danger to them, where they might, in a fragile state, in a new and unfamiliar environment – an environment of last resort – be at risk from themselves, their self-management of their self-medication.

    No, no, no … the precautions taken to ensure the safety of an unknown, but certainly less than 100 percent of a less than 1% of the women in America in the most particular of circumstances (abused, fled from home, in new environment, under medication, in crisis state) are suddenly “ALL women” and actions taken to protect them express an attitude towards “ALL women …”. Uh-huh. I’m convinced. who wouldn’t be.

    And, re “women who have experienced abuse are given chores to complete and when they do not do their chores they are called into the office and reprimanded. Sounds like an abuser’s behavior to me.”

    Yes, indeed. Quel domage! Is there any clearer hallmark of abuse than being called on the carpet? It’s exactly what most abusing men do – call their wives (significant others?) into an office and lecture them. No wonder these women flee the home and take medication. There oughta be a law. Why can’t the people who run these shelters treat these women with the respect their men do and just knock them to the floor? (ideally, I suppose, in front of their children).

    Pass the Kool-Aid.

  • Mr.K

    Carey Robers and Paul Elam
    Carey Robets reports from behind the iron curtain of feminst programs that few men’s rights activist are permitted to see. Then there are the outside projects to propagandize and indoctrinate people in politics, judiciary and media to implement those ideas.
    Perhaps 20 or so years ago there was an open workshop sponsored by feminists. I was able to attend it, afterwards they changed it to “by invitation olnly”. There were judge, and other officials in attendants and main speaker was an author of “Women Who Kill”. Mysteriously my tape recoder had stopped working during the break . In those days recorders were bulky and I had left it on the table. Even one woman in the audience whispered how distorted the brogram was. Link to book that justifies female killing of men.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ann_Jones_(author)

  • http://avoiceformen.com/ Paul Elam

    @ JTG

    The answer is quite simple.

    This article speaks to a population of women that seek the services of abuse shelters. While I don’t have any statistics available, I think it is reasonable to assume that the great majority of women on the whole never see the inside of such places. (I draw this conclusion from the scientific certainty that only a minority of women are abused, ergo…)

    This article, and many more like it, address a small but politically powerful segment of the population (DV industry workers) more than a few of whom are male.

    It is, in the end, a political piece.

    The article, in no place I can find, addresses the state of women in general. Not that MR. Roberts is prevented from doing that.

    The bit that you quoted is from an MRM mission statement, not from editorial guidelines for MND. Our writers are encouraged to address social issues, particularly in the area of gender politics. And they all ultimately address the quality of life for for men and boys.

    It is what we do here.

  • JTG

    Not quite sure how tis article (not to mention so many others) passes muster under your espoused principle:

    “The scientific inconsistency and dubious morality of
    any claim by one gender to describe the state, condition,
    needs, experiences, or the value of the other gender.”

    Explain?

  • http://bacardiandbotox.blogspot.com/ wannabevirginiawoolf

    I use to work in a shelter and have seen degrading things done to women once they enter the shelter for “safety”. Upon arrival if they happen to be on meds, those are immediately taken for safe keeping in the event someone else steals it or in the event that she decides to overdose. That pretty much sums up the idea that all women steal and that have no control and will likely commit suicide.

    In addition, the women who have experienced abuse are given chores to complete and when they do not do their chores they are called into the office and reprimanded. Sounds like an abuser’s behaviour to me.

    You are 100% right with the brainwashing using the power and control wheel. I use to facilitate in house groups. It was pathetic. The women were also forced to attend group it was mandatory. So much for self determination there.

    I also worked for a shelter where the executive director was very abusive towards her staff, and the antithesis of feminism.

  • rohara

    I have long been disturbed by the lack of accountability for D.V. shelters. Most every social service entity that recieves government funding, as most D.V. shelters do, has some sort of evaluation program in order to determine effectivenes as well as compliance with legal and operative guidelines. Im am not aware of a single survey whose results were published regarding the satisfaction that clients had of D.V. services. One of the most important social services available and it essentialy excludes men from getting the help that they need and the public cant even decide for itself wether or not the system is working.







Right.

Man up.

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