Millions Pray for Global Warming as Cold Spell Grips the Planet

For global warming protesters, the week was a total downer.

A University of Utah “scream-in” for the failed Copenhagen climate conference had to be iced, thanks to an errant December blizzard. Then faced with historic snowfalls in Europe, bicyclist Thaneite Khandekar cut short his global awareness trek. “There were times when my feet would be frozen,” a dejected Khandekar had to admit.

Meanwhile, newspapers in North America, Europe, and Asia warned readers of the deep freeze that lay ahead. In the United States, over 1,200 new records for cold and snow were set in a single week.

In Europe, the UK Telegraph warned readers of “one of the coldest winters in 100 years.” A jet careened off a snow-covered airport runway in Germany. And avalanches rumbled down the Swiss Alps.

The India Meteorological Department announced, “It could turn out to be the coldest Calcutta winter ever.” Traffic bedlam reined as Seoul, Korea struggled to cope with a foot of snow.

Meanwhile a dwindling number of climate alarmists struggled to keep the faith. “In the context of global warming, extreme atmospheric flows are causing extreme climate incidents to appear more frequently,” explained Mr. Guo, head of the Beijing Meteorological Bureau, as the Chinese capital dug out from its biggest snow dump since 1951.

While temperatures took a nosedive, the Climategate scandal continued to surge out of control like an El Niño-driven tidal wave.

Dr. Rajendra Pachauri, head of the UN Intergovernmental Panel for Climate Control, reverted to damage-control mode. “It is a well-known fact that powerful vested interests and those opposed to action on climate change are working overtime to see that they can stall action for as long as possible,” he blustered.

And what of pesky rumors that Pachauri stood to take in millions if proposed fossil fuel surcharges took effect? “As for pecuniary benefits from advice that I may be rendering to profit making organisations, these payments are all made directly to my institute, without a single penny being received by me,” Pachauri explained with a straight face.

Former Director of the National Hurricane Center Neil Frank declaimed how Climategate “reveals how predetermined political agendas shaped science.”

Canadian climatologist Tim Ball laid much of the blame for the Climategate fiasco on a “Blind and Biased Mainstream Media.” And in the Canadian arctic, Inuit hunters report the polar bears are doing fine. Harry Flaherty, chairman of the Nunavut Wildlife Management Board, says the bear population has become so, well, unbearable, that its numbers need to be trimmed.

No surprise, laws based on the fraudulent climate research came under fire as well.

In the U.S. Senate, President Obama’s signature “cap-and-trade” bill was shunted to the back burner. Six Georgia Congressmen charged the EPA’s emission regulations were based on “questionable and potentially fraudulent data.” In France the Constitutional Council KOed an impending national carbon tax as unconstitutional.

And come to think of it, where is Al Gore these days?

Following a disastrous Copenhagen speech where he predicted a polar melt-down within 5-7 years, the Guru of Global Apocalypse has been keeping a low profile. Nothing on his personal blog: http://blog.algore.com/ And at his ClimateProject.org, eco-speech requests for 2010 have petered off. At $100,000 a pop, corporations hit by a weak economy are having doubts about inviting the high-priced Nobel Peace Prize winner.

Meanwhile back in India, New Delhi remained under the grip of an intense cold wave. In the northern territories, 154 are reported dead from weather-related causes.

But hopefully the cold snap will end by next week.

Beginning January 14, millions of Hindus will congregate for the holy Kumbha Mela, the largest gathering of Hindus in the world. In attendance will be the renowned Naga Sadhus, members of a Hindu sect who parade through the streets unclothed.

Any guesses what the naked men’s mantra will be? Stop Global Warming.