In the course of development of all human beings, there is a stage where we are infants. Our focus is exclusively on pain and pleasure. In this state, we are totally preoccupied with ourselves; we are short sighted due to our selfish orientation. When we are in pain, or experience the denial of pleasure, we have a violent emotional reaction, and we loudly protest. As we grow older, and become children, we are socialized to consider our impact on other people. If we have responsible parents, when we move into childhood, we are for example taught that it’s not acceptable to hit other children. Children still have a very limited view of the world, and are not yet able to take care of themselves, but they are at least aware that their actions have some impact on others.
Some people’s development is arrested at the infant stage. Other parts of these people have grown-up into children, and still other parts of these same people have grown-up into adults. But if our parents, and society at large, have not demanded that we make this shift from an infant’s selfishness, into sociability, and later into responsibility, then we may stay at the infant stage. It is after all, for many people, both easier and more pleasant to stay at the infant stage. If we are arrested at the infant stage, our pain and pleasure are the sole focus of thoughts and our behavior. In this stage, we have no idea whether our avoidance of pain, and our pursuit of pleasure, has any adverse effects on others. If we are still at this infant stage, we don’t care if we are presented with evidence of adverse effects on others, we will simply ignore such evidence.
Many of the most vocal women in the feminist movement are apparently arrested at the infant stage of development. In spite of lots of independent studies showing that the “advancement” of women is often coming at the expense of men, and children too, these feminists press ahead with their aggressive pro-women feminist agenda. This is why feminist women can’t hear men when men talk logically and rationally about things such as equity and fairness. Infants don’t understand such concepts. It’s too advanced for them. They must grow up before they can engage in such a conversation. The focus at this point in their development must be exclusively on growing up, NOT on an adult discussion of evidence, morals, ethics, impacts, and the like.
Some men in the men’s movement have accused feminist women of being children. This is inaccurate. They are one step behind children — they are still infants. While it is now important that these man-hating feminists grow up and take self-responsibility, in part this sorry state of affairs came about by the way that we “raise” and socialize females. In America, we treat our girls as though they are special, as though they are princesses, as though they have every right to remain in this infant state. For instance, we don’t punish girls for doing things like hitting boys, and when their bodies get older, we don’t send them to jail for their violent transgressions the way that we punish men. Similarly, we have all sorts of special educational programs for girls, plus special government programs for women, and here I am taking about entitlements that are not extended to either boys or men.
These entitlements, which make babies out of women, in most cases, do not extent to men. For example, women can just drop off their new-born baby at a hospital, walk away from the baby forever, not have to take responsibility in any way for the baby. But a father, even a father who was lied to about birth control by his female partner, he will still have to pay child support for 18-20 years. It goes way beyond this, because men are routinely coerced to take responsibility for their own actions. For instance, if a man is unemployed, and he can’t pay child support, he can be and in some instances is, held in contempt of court, and then jailed. Men are also routinely forced to take still more responsibility than their own — they are forced to take responsibility for women and children. Men are for example forced to go to war via the military draft, but no such requirement, not even for some sort of alternative service, none of that applies to women.
The infant perspective held by feminists is evident in one of the most recent press releases coming from the National Organization For Women (NOW). See the 28 January 2010 press release entitled “NOW Echoes President Obama: Don’t Quit on Women,” because it illustrates this infant perspective [link is http://www.now.org/press/01-10/01-28.html]. The press release claims that women are “suffering disproportionately in the current recession — seeing more foreclosures, less health care coverage, worse predatory loan practices and struggling to support their families on incomes depressed by a persistent wage gap.” Of course there is no factual substantiation for these claims; it’s just propaganda. That’s why the many members of the press, even the feminist dominated New York Times, is calling the current recession a “mancession” [link is http://economix.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/08/10/the-mancession/]. The feminist focus only on women, this blindness to the impact of feminist policies, not only on men, but also on children, society at large, our competitiveness with other countries, and other things, all this is a good indication of infant consciousness.
This grown-woman infant consciousness is so widespread that most of us don’t even comment on it any longer. We take it for granted that many women are going to act like infants. I suggest that it’s time for the men’s movement to address the fact that feminists are suffering from arrested development, that feminists are acting like infants. It’s time that we used expert psychological analysis to embarrass the feminists by pointing out how one-sided their demands are, how limited their perspective is, how unfair their viewpoints are. It’s time that the men’s movement pointed out that infants are dependent, and must not be given positions of responsibility, such as a public office or a top management spot at a corporation. To give women these roles risks very serious damage, not just to the person acting like an infant, but all the other people who are in some way involved. Until women start acting like adults, until women are forced by our laws and customs to shoulder both responsibility and accountability like all other adults, they should have no right to even ask to be promoted to leadership positions.
The double-talk inherent in many of feminist statements is that they are pushing for “women’s independence.” But at the same time, these feminists keep asking for more and more special advantages, more and more women-oriented support. They are simply making their already cushy bed still more comfortable at the expense of men and children. Here I am making reference to alimony law, divorce law, child custody law, reproductive law, domestic violence shelters for women only, disproportionate government funds spent on women’s health care research, and many other inequities. These inequities do not make women more independent; instead they foster still greater dependency and enshrine infant consciousness.
What the women’s movement needs now is the removal of special advantages so that women are forced to fend for themselves, are forced to grow up, are forced to deal with the things that men have had to deal with for a very long time. If women are getting most of the college degrees, if women now make up over 50% of the workforce, if women now control more of the wealth in America than men, then of course it is now time for each and every woman to stand on her own two feet. There is absolutely no longer any need, or any logical justification, for special transitional programs to support women in getting into the work force, into college, and the like.
The mark of an adult is that he or she can work with others in harmony, can work out a way to coexist with others. Feminists are abysmal failures in this department, again, because they, in so many instances, have only infant consciousness. Children can consider other people, but adults work toward fair and just solutions to problems. It’s time that we demanded that women join men in the pursuit of such an egalitarian society, join men in an adult conversation about the future. We must stop letting men’s traditional roles as providers and protectors in some way motivate us to once again agree to yet another special advantage for women, or yet another additional support measure for women.
If women want to be respected as adults, then they had better start acting like adults. For feminists to keep demanding more special advantages and more additional support, that is not engendering respect for women. Old-fashioned men used to call women “girls,” but for feminists that designation is kind. Men should instead, to their face, be calling these women “infants.” They don’t deserve our respect. It’s time we abandoned good manners, chivalry, and the indiscriminate respect that men are supposed to show towards all women. We should instead be calling feminist women on their behavior, and explicitly showing how it is exactly the same as the behavior of infants. SO THE FOCUS OF THE MEN’S MOVEMENT SHOULD NOW BE ON WHO FEMINIST WOMEN ARE BEING, HOW THEY ARE BEHAVING, NOT ON THE ADVERSE RESULTS THAT THEIR FEMINIST POLICIES CREATE IN THE WORLD.
While at first this approach may sound impolite and unchivalrous, it would in the long run benefit not just men and children, it will benefit women too. Despite 40 years of heavy-duty feminist influence on America, women are complaining that they aren’t as happy as they used to be [link]. Women are complaining about how feminism is boxing them into certain roles, roles they don’t want to be forced to follow. Women are complaining that feminism isn’t working for them. To force these feminist women to grow up would be good for everybody.
It’s time that we not only gave women a chance to grow up, it’s time that we required that they do so.
