RAPE!

2010-03-04
By

“I claim that rape exists any time sexual intercourse occurs when it has not been initiated by the woman, out of her own genuine affection and desire.” -Robin Morgan, “Theory and Practice: Pornography and Rape”

“In a patriarchal society all heterosexual intercourse is rape because women, as a group, are not strong enough to give meaningful consent,” -Catherine MacKinnon in Professing Feminism: Cautionary Tales from the Strange World of Women’s Studies, p. 129.

“The fact is that the process of killing – both rape and battery are steps in that process- is the prime sexual act for men in reality and/or in imagination,” -Andrea Dworkin, Letters from a War Zone

“Man’s discovery that his genitalia could serve as a weapon to generate fear must rank as one of the most important discoveries of prehistoric times, along with the use of fire, and the first crude stone axe,” -Susan Brownmiller, Against Our Will: Men, Women, and Rape, p. 5.

“All men benefit from rape, because all men benefit from the fact that women are not free in this society; that women cower; that women are afraid; that women cannot assert the rights that we have, limited as those rights are, because of the ubiquitous presence of rape,” -Andrea Dworkin, Letters from a War Zone

Nothing could be farther from the reality of most men’s experiences with sex than the characterizations of the radical rape theorists. Sexual freedom for women was once one of the foundations of the so-called “women’s liberation” movement, but that has been replaced by a rigid political orthodoxy that is far more restrictive for women than the conditions which were the justification of their need for liberation. As the political has bulldozed its way into the personal, the delicate balance which existed in relationships and made them possible has completely broken down.

Today, at the crossover point between the 20th and 21st centuries, it is impossible to approach even the most superficial examination of female/male relationships without having to deal with a bottomless chasm between men and women called rape. The word itself has long since ceased to have any specific meaning because the concept has been so broadened that sex itself, any and all sex, between men and women is now called rape by some. This broadening of the aspect of criminality, violence, within sexual relationships blurs the distinctions between the normal frictions inherent in such an emotionally intense experience and true malicious intent. Indeed, malice on the part of men toward women is assumed and has become impossible for a man to disprove.

Rape has become the metaphor for all the conflicts of power between the sexes, and institutionalizes the underdog position of women. Dissident feminist Camille Paglia characterizes rape as “male power fighting female power.” Another dissident feminist group, The Feminist Anti-Censorship Task Force (FACT), in “Caught Looking,” names and describes the female aspect of power in sexual relationships. “It (denial of the possibility of mutuality) puts the woman in the position that the mother has to the infant: she has the power to give or withhold.” A few paragraphs later they recognize that “subduing the male through sex, a traditional female stance, did not give women freedom to become sexual persons in their own right.” Journalist Nora Fox, writing for “Squire” magazine suggests, “Being the superior sex, women long ago learned the surefire way to get our way is to withhold sex. It’s the same way we train dogs. Good behavior merits you a treat; bad behavior puts you in the conjugal dog house for the night. Men never seem to catch on. It’s a sad commentary on social Darwinism that sexual withholding works after all these millennia.”

It is an even sadder commentary on the female view of relationships to see a woman advocating that women reduce their sexual nature to commodity status, then use it to play a mean and exploitive version of the futures market: artificially manipulating the commodity to create an artificial scarcity which drives up the price. By equating female sexuality with a dog biscuit, this so-called feminist dehumanizes women and demeans their sexuality far more than men ever could. Implicit in her view, as well as the views of radical rape theory, is a dissociation of women from their sexuality. It is not part of them: it is a THING to be passed around, used to manipulate with, but never something to be valued in its own right. If women, as the superior sex, take that view of their own sexuality, why is it a criminal act for men to believe them?

Extending Ms Fox’s analogy of treating men like dogs, anyone who has trained a dog knows that effective training requires iron discipline. When using a treat to coerce desired behavior from a dog, any departure from the conditional withholding and giving a treat when the behavior isn’t present will create a game where the beloved pet will try to get the treat without the required behavior. There is no malice on the pet’s part; he really thinks it is a game – just like tug-of-war or chase-the-ball.

In sexual relationships, men often have to contend with women who constantly flip-flop in their positions. Sometimes it seems like women want to play: other times it seems like the purpose of the same activity has changed to control. When women attempt to grab the maternal power position described by FACT, and place the man in the position of the infant, by using their power to grant or withhold as a manipulative device, as Ms Fox suggests, men react in a variety of ways ranging from hurt to rage. All of these reactions damage the foundation of a relationship and undermine its mutuality. Depending on his socialization and past experiences with women, he may chose to continue it as a game and try to snatch the biscuit from his would-be mistress’s hand, knock her down and take it by force, or simply quit the game and go away.

Prior to the extreme expansion of the concepts of rape, continuing the game was considered to be “romance.” Above cited Camille Paglia has also made the statement that “what used to be considered unbridled passion is now called date rape.”

According to feminist theory, rape definitions were previously biased completely toward the male point of view. Reflecting a cultural and social understanding of the “traditional female stance” of “subduing the male through sex,” behavior antecedent to the alleged sex act purported to be criminal in nature was considered in determining whether the woman had been engaging in a power play of bait-and-switch or was truly innocent of any action or intent to provoke interest and desire in a man as a method of gaining power over him.

This was a form of protection for men from women who understood the nature of their sexual power and were quite willing to abuse it and use it in a manipulative and exploitive way, just as rape laws were a form of protection from men who were willing to abuse their power to violate a woman sexually.

Nothing is as central to feminist theory as the denial of this as a true form of power. Balancing the so-called “patriarchy” has always been the emotional “matriarchy” of intimate relationships. In its current incarnation, the widely accepted fact that women are “relationship and intimacy experts,” women retain exclusive power to define the terms and conditions of intimacy. The male point of view is not just denied and negated: it is demanded of men that they not only accede to, but adopt, the female point of view.

Females “know” in their special “women’s way of knowing” how relationships “should” be conducted, and they grant or withhold the treat of sex as a means of training men to give them what they want.

This point of view has become entrenched in current legal theory and practice. The determination of criminality has shifted completely away from objective interpretation of events to subjective determination based entirely on the perceptions of the female. Behavior on the part of the female which could have been interpreted in the subjective experience of the male as an invitation or enticement to pursue her, the proverbial and inflammatory “she asked for it,” and which can turn really ugly if the woman changes the rules at the last moment and grabs for the maternal power position of withholding what she has previously implied she was quite willing to give away freely, is now ruled inadmissible in determining guilt.

Whatever she says is the law now. The ratios of criminal to non-criminal sexual behavior have been entirely reversed. Rape used to exclude anything which was ambiguous or where the woman’s intent was unclear: now it includes all these formerly gray areas and only excludes the rare occasions where the woman is clear and unconflicted in her desires and intent; as Robin Morgan stipulates.

Given the realities of dating relationships, and the complex dance of advance/retreat which is characteristic of them, situations without ambiguity seldom exist. In part, it is the very riskiness of the ambiguous situation which provides much of the excitement of sexuality. Several years ago, Antioch College (always at the forefront of “political correctness”) formulated a set of rules for the conduct of sexual relationships which required the male to secure explicit verbal consent prior to each escalation of physical intimacy leading to sex. “Can I touch your breast now?” “Can I put my hand inside your panties now?” “Can I put my finger inside you now?” It’s hard to imagine that the people who wrote these rules had ever had sex.

The cold and unemotional negotiation of sex like a labor contract is a more effective means of killing a rising bout of libido than a cold shower could ever be. The formal distance and restraint required a separation of intellect from experience and a detachment and dissociation from the event which no amount of lust could survive. What little sexual expression survived this over-intellectualization was necessarily contrived and devoid of emotional content. What started out to be about passion became about nothing more than friction.

In most cases, male ardor could not survive the stilted script and wilted like a cut flower under a hot light. In the current formulation of the sexual script, this was exactly the desired result. Men now assumed the role of the gatekeeper formerly filled by women and rather than rely on her to tell him that he was about to go, or had gone too far, he had to take responsibility for making sure he never stepped over the line: if he did, it was “date rape.” Rebalancing the stereotypic division of responsibility implicit in the old traditional roles would have required women to then take on the role of the initiator, which would also require that they take responsibility for their own sexuality and the fact that they are sexual beings.

This, of course, is not allowed under the precepts of either the traditional cultural view of female sexuality or the contemporary position of the rape theorists, which are actually identical in their underlying assumptions despite the cosmetic differences used to hide their true intent. “Women do not want sex, they want love and commitment. A woman who willingly engages in sex is participating in her own oppression. A woman who believes that she has had willing sex is weak minded fool who has internalized her own oppression because she is unable to know any better and patriarchy controls her every move.” It would also totally compromise her power position to grant or withhold sex as a means of getting her way: transferring it to the male.

Given the fact that, historically, a woman’s sexuality WAS her primary economic asset; and that the cultural institution of marriage was essentially a socially enforced contract in which the male was held responsible and accountable for providing financially for that woman and any products of his access to her sexuality in return for that access; marital law exempted husbands from rape charges.

Rape was considered a form of theft, taking a woman’s asset without paying for it. Implicit in this structure was the assumption that, by marrying her, the man had entered into a contract of continued payment for continued access.

Cultural stereotyping demanded that women dissociate themselves from any enjoyment of their own sexuality lest men “stop buying cows, because they could get the milk for free.” The sexual repression of the first Victorian age was so complete that it was considered somehow shameful and perverse if a woman actually enjoyed sex instead of “lying back and thinking of England” so she could somehow endure the shame and degradation of it all. Sex was primarily for the production of children, and the satisfaction of men’s “bestial” urges, and the ideal was to get it over with as quickly as possible in order to minimize the shame and degradation of it all.

The quotes at the beginning of this essay reflect a return to values and cultural attitudes which were far more characteristic of the 1880s than the 1980s. Rene Denfeld has referred to this branch of radical feminism as “The New Victorians” in her book of the same name. The radical rape theorists have somehow managed to pull off a hoax of incredible proportions as they push for reinstatement of total repression and denial of female sexuality while justifying it by claiming it is necessary as a tool to fight the very conditions that it creates as an inevitable result.

The modern day mechanism for this is also identical to the ones historically used: destruction of women’s sexuality through a variety of mechanisms and making women fear men because of their bestial and violent inherent natures.

Cultures in Africa and the Middle East take a very straightforward approach to the destruction of female sexuality: they simply chop the genitals off little girls somewhere between the ages of 4 and puberty. Commonly known to western cultures as Female Genital Mutilation, or FGM, these grisly practices are known within the cultures which practice them by the more polite and obscure euphemisms of female circumcision, excision, and infibulation.

Western cultures, being on the whole more “civilized”, use the more “humane” means of leaving the genitals attached but severing the emotional attachment and ownership, as well as all feeling in them, by the mechanism of shame. The western culture version of FGM is FMGF “Female Genital Mind F–k,” which confuses and sublimates a woman’s real feelings and desires into a form reflecting a prevailing cultural value which serves a social purpose. Women are only allowed to experience pleasure within a highly prescribed and proscribed context. She must be “in love:” if she is all things are allowed, up to and including murder.

If she isn’t…nothing is allowed.

This highly scripted social context is just as anti-reality when it comes to the behavior of most women as the characterizations of all sex as a form of violence is regarding the real behavior of men. The cultural mechanism which used to allow women to maintain this fiction and still experience their sexuality was men’s fulfillment of their part of the sexual script regarding aggression and initiation. Women could put up “token” resistance secure in the knowledge that men would persist through the 150 rejections required to move the relationship from first eye-contact to sexual intimacy, because that was their role – their “JOB.”

The inevitable misunderstandings and ambiguities would be excused based on an understanding that the deception involved in the artificial roles made real understanding next to impossible. Women could be sexual without the shame by being “in love,” “overcome by passion,” “carried away in the heat of the moment,” or any one of many other euphemisms for the woman letting the man have her way. Once in a while it got out of hand, and a truly dangerous man would ignore the gate keeping signals which meant “too far,” in which case the man would be convicted of rape. The old code of “chivalry” was sufficient to keep most socialized men in check.

When the public code of chivalry was changed from a woman’s privilege to a woman’s oppression, the entire system began to break down. Eliminating the distinctions between loving consensual sex and violence, and in fact denying that any such distinctions exist, made it impossible for a woman who was not completely clear on her sexuality (and given the contradictions in the culture on the subject of sex, what woman, or man for that matter, COULD be) to understand the gray areas between her own desires and being exploited by men in purely selfish and self-serving manners. Thus any behavior which fell outside the bounds of “politically correct” orthodoxy came to be criminalized.

And since that range was narrow indeed, not to mention anti-reality, almost all sexual actions by men toward women came to be regarded as criminal, or “potentially” criminal (as exemplified by characterizing all men as “potential” rapists). Thus the meaning of the term “rape” has been broadened in its usage to include a vast number of acts that have nothing to do with sexuality, but relate only to the aspect of sex now called by the term “gender.” Any time men oppose the desires or actions of a woman; whether it be to grab the moral high ground and maternal power to grant or withhold sex (even after an implicit suggestion that it is to be expected) or simply to impose on men something they have every reason and right to resist; it is now called by some variation of “(modifier) rape.”

A female sportswriter, in an often quoted incident that occurred in the locker room of a professional football team several years ago, characterized the male players‘ hostility toward her presence in their locker room, while they were running around in various stages of undress, as “mind rape.” No male sportscaster would dream of expecting to be able to hang out in a female athletes’ locker room indulging his voyeuristic appetites; but when a woman does and men object – the woman, as always, becomes the victim by screaming rape.

The very term “mind-rape” should be seen as an oxymoron; and probably would except for the rejection of reason, logic, mind, and intelligence itself as “andro-centric” which radical feminism has made possible. Rape is being used today in the broadest possible sense to cast the subtle pall of criminal violence on any action of men to assert their own power and right to it. The concept of “equal rights” has been totally lost in the grab for power which feminism has become. Any person in a free society should have the right to deny a person of the opposite sex from leering at them in a semi-private environment. Isn’t that the entire foundation under the concept of sexual harassment?

The use of the term “rape” to describe such actions by men illustrates how the meaning has been perverted to the point where the term has no meaning at all anymore except to make criminals of men who oppose any action or exercise of power by a woman.

This is not to say that forced criminal sex does not exist, it certainly does and should remain a crime subject to the most severe of punishments. But the destruction and criminalization of the gray areas is most decidedly not to the benefit of either women or men. Kate Fillion, in “Lip Service” describes the experience of a young woman whose interpretation of a sexual encounter changes from the beginnings of a wonderful romance and life together to rape as a result of seeing her lover of the previous night sitting with another girl in the college cafeteria. Many writers, female and male alike, have commented on how this trivialization of the term is incredibly insulting and destructive to those who really have been violated.

The much trumpeted statistic that 1/4 of all women will be rape victims relies on a definition of rape that requires denial of 75% of the women’s own interpretations of the experience. Fully 3/4 of the women included in the numbers of “rape victims” themselves characterized the experience as a misunderstanding. Almost half of them went on to sleep with the so-called “perpetrators” again. Under the expanded definition of rape used to create the 1/4 statistic: a man who takes a woman out on that “holy grail” of single womanhood, the “Saturday Night Date”, drops a couple of hundred bucks on dinner that includes a bottle or 2 of wine, then they end up doing the horizontal boogie, if she has 2nd thoughts about it later – HE HAS RAPED HER
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The complexity of the conditions for ?politically correct sex? has become so prohibitive that failure is inevitable. Perhaps the first area where true equality between the sexes is going to be achieved is by making men as inhibited and ambivalent about sex as the popular stereotype of women portrays women to be. Nothing is as ironic as listening to a woman, who never even took high school psychology, make bitter and scathing authoritative pronouncements about men, their nature, their motivations, and particularly their sexuality; then wonder morosely why none of these exploitive creatures approach her in order to force their unwanted attentions upon her.

Historically, men have shouldered a disproportionate share of the burdens and risks associated with the initiation of potential sexual relationships. They did so both in anticipation of certain rewards, and based upon a certain sense of safety that he would be cut a bit of slack if he failed to do it perfectly elegantly. The role of the initiator to men and the gatekeeper to women, worked to the general benefit of all. Studies have found that the frequency of sex in lesbian relationships is significantly below that in heterosexual relationships, which is again below that in relationships between gay men.

Men initiate, women wait.

There‘s an old workplace poster that talks about a job that “anybody could have done, but it was really nobody’s job, so nobody did it, if somebody had done it, things would have been so much better.” Men have been very clearly socialized to understand that the shit work of sexual initiation is “their job.” However, when the situation is created where an act is both required AND prohibited, almost everyone will make the choice which carries the lesser sanction. In today‘s culture that means waiting for the woman to “initiate sex out of her own sincere affection and desire,” as Robin Morgan demands, to avoid a rape charge. No man goes to prison for the crime of waiting. Men and women alike are waiting for Godot, who never shows up.

The ?dull assumption? to which Norman Mailer refers in ?Prisoner of Sex,? i.e. that the male sex drive is entirely due to an accident of birth, is more repellant to men today than when Mailer wrote about it in 1971. The fact that it has become so deeply entrenched in the public mind, becoming the 21st century equivalent of the “flat earth” view of the 15th century, has driven all eroticism and joy out of sexual relationships. Erin Pizzey, founder of the first women’s shelter in the UK, speaks of the “terrible loss of tenderness and romance which has been leached out of the lives of women.” In the gender war, the shared bed has become one of the primary battlegrounds.

The persistence, urgency, and ubiquity of the male sex drive and its power ascribed by the radical rape theorists to all men is a complete fallacy. While the cultural perception remains that men want sex more than women; doctors, counselors, and other helping professionals are increasingly called upon to deal with women trying to adjust to the fact that their chosen partners do not have much, if any, interest in sleeping with them. The sexless marriage is becoming far more common than most people realize. Relying entirely on men’s sexual desire to compel them to pursue women and place themselves under the power of women to grant or withhold sex is a strategy that fails somewhere around age 40. Women tend to respond to this loss of using their sexuality in a manipulative and exploitive manner in the same ugly fashion as women who never had it in the first place: they bash men for it.

Above quoted journalist Nora Fox says, in the same article “… by the time we (women) reach our sexual peak, men are running on fumes.” She goes on to suggest using a man’s fear of his loss of sexual potency: “Another useful strategy is the withering glance. Begin with eye contact; move down to the zipper. After making sure no camcorders are present, I often combo this move with a disgusted snort followed by a teeth-clenched snarl.”

What this woman is advocating is violence: emotional violence. Violence breeds violence and many a man will react to the long term use of such tactics by becoming emotionally or physically violent themselves. This article perfectly illustrates just about every reason why relationships between men and women are breaking down. How could anyone look at the viciousness inherent in this woman’s writing and not realize how it destroys the most fundamental quality necessary for a relationship, i.e. trust?

It also illustrates in elegant shorthand fashion the answer to Wendy Dennis’s question: Why are men not out seeking and loving women? Because they are getting no messages whatsoever that women have any wish for them to. Because doing so is now defined as a criminal act. And because, even if their desire to love a woman is strong enough to overcome these first two hurdles, what they find in the majority of cases is not the loving support and appreciation of their love that they expected; but abuse, hatred, and betrayal of trust.

Simplistic formulations of the complexities of emotions, politics and power, which dominate the sexual exchange, deny the reality of the experiences of most people. Sex is nothing but ambiguities, uncertainties, ambivalences. Today’s politicized rape climate reverses the proportions of normal and pathological: making the majority experience pathological and holding up an as-yet unachieved ideal as the prototype of “normality.” Demanding that sex be female-initiated in order to avoid criminality, as Robin Morgan does, hardly seems to fit with the observed behaviors of most women.

Still, even this extreme position would be more palatable to men than the current situation. Men are still expected, and under great social pressures, to initiate, but are demanded to do so entirely in accordance with women’s specifications, desires, and needs. Failure to meet any of these is punishable by imprisonment. Men as human beings have been completely dropped out of the picture: and the expectation now is that they will function either like flesh and blood vibrators or the hero of some romance novel or chick flick embodying a totally dysfunctional blend of contradictory and mutually exclusive characteristics. Needless to say, not many men are passing romantic muster these days.

The extreme negative stereotyping combined with the impossibly conflicting demands and expectations enforced by the power of an increasing body of aggressively punitive laws have led an ever growing number of men to simply “drop out.” Feminist author Wendy Dennis observed several years ago “men had backed off from women in response to the feminist agenda.” She also remarked in her book that many men simply avoided romantic relationships except when prompted by a bout of loneliness to make a foray into the singles bars. At one point she wonders why these men are not out seeking, dating, and loving women. While she does an adequate job of acknowledging the beating over the head with feminist demands that they remodel themselves which men have endured for the past 3 decades, she never quite got around to fessing up to the fact that men had been told so many times that doing so was tantamount to rape that they decided it was better to be asexual than a criminal.

Countering the stereotypes on which the radical rape theorists rely to justify their push for lesbianism and elimination of men, are the realities of men who have opted out of the whole game as a means of beating the game of sexual politics. One man I spoke with, who is now in his mid-40s, gave up sex before the age of 30. He says he barely remembers it, and what he does remember of it was more obnoxious than pleasant or rewarding. In speaking of the reasons for his choice, he refers to the fact that things he shared in an atmosphere of trust were invariably used against him with incredibly malicious intent when the nature of the relationship changed. In his descriptions as well as many other conversations with men on this topic, the word “betrayal” comes up again and again.

Joshua Harris, at age 22 when most young people are almost obsessed with romantic relationships, has written a book called “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” and tours the country speaking to young people encouraging them not to date. In his book, he outlines 7 reasons for not dating. Four of the seven have to do with the misunderstandings that are inevitable given the differing expectations, agendas, and perceptions with which men and women tend to enter potentially sexual relationships.

Men now accept “No” as meaning “no.” “Maybe” is also regarded as “no.” Since “yes” can never mean really mean yes, any “yes” which is not delivered in writing and notarized is interpreted as a “conditional yes”: yes (if there is a commitment forthcoming). The hostility that this breeds in men is illustrated by the man who got the “no, maybe, yes, no, no I mean yes” treatment then pulled away from his “date” and began masturbating. While it is easy to see how this was obviously quite hostile and probably hurt the woman’s “delicate” feelings, any empathy for her point of view is tempered by the fact that the political climate makes her ambivalence quite safe while ignoring that it has life-changing risks for the man.

The runaway abuse of rape, rape shield, and sexual harassment laws has totally remodeled the landscape of romantic relationships. The mechanisms of attraction buried so deeply in our biology and social customs are not easily redefined. The resulting confusion and misunderstandings has attempted to throw away the old without replacing it with anything new. What is left is a caricature. Women and men fear and distrust each other. If anyone had intentionally chosen an issue which is as cloudy and vague as it is powerful as a means to set one group of people against another, they could not possibly have chosen one more powerful or more vague than sex. Sex is the broadest possible criteria to divide the human race into competing groups in hostile camps, and is so central to survival of the species itself that there has been no alternative to men and women crashing into each other trying to sort it out as they were searching for love.

Individual women and individual women have been defined out of existence by the radical and extreme characterizations of sex and rape. People have been awash in a sea of political orthodoxy as the most outspoken of the architects of the “new world order” have invaded their bedrooms and their very minds with more vigor and contempt than anyone ever thought possible. Before women had any more than a decade to savor their newfound sexual freedom which the pill provided, the very people who most loudly claimed to fighting for their liberation and their rights sought to define away those rights and institute an era of sexual repression which would make the Victorian era look like an orgy of unrestrained libido. In the process they sacrificed an entire generation, and broke the fragile thread of the transmission of cultural and social values from parents to children. In the place of parents we now have the falsely benevolent ultimate parent of government.

By defining this most basic and potentially tender and passionate, but also incredibly powerful and conflicted, experience purely in terms of preferences versus criminality; the stage is set for everyone to lose. Sexuality is clearly one of the most universal and intense of human interactions. There are only about 6 things that we can be relatively certain every human being does or has the desire to do: eat, drink, excrete, sleep, breathe, and have sex. This is why we are so fascinated with it. Public media inundates us with sexual signals: glorifying sex while at the same time waving the pinched-face moralistic finger of shame at any who respond to the signals.

Sex, like Christina Hoff-Sommers characterizes in her book “Who Stole Feminism: how women have betrayed women,” has been stolen from men and women alike. It has been stolen by fanatics who sold women out by claiming to act in their interests while their true agenda was to shove a new form of political orthodoxy down their throats and into their personal lives. It has been stolen by making women afraid of and hate men.

If women ever decide to reclaim sex from their would-be saviors; if they ever decide to demand the right to say “yes” that Ms Kitty MacKinnon denies them “as a group, because they aren’t strong enough to give meaningful consent;” if they ever decide to stop exploiting their sexual powers of withholding and motherhood; they will find lots of loving men ready to join with them.

But women will have to be the ones who reclaim it. For as we all have heard many times: “All men are rapists and that’s all they are,” Marilyn French Author, “The Women’s Room,” and advisor to former presidential candidate Al Gore.

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  • http://www.standyourground.com Poiuyt

    These rape fantasies, hallucinations and hysterical outpourings are memes, structures and idealations constructed by feminism under the sponsorship and seduction of males in search of power at all costs.

    These impressionable females will defecate and eat it if told it is their entilement and right.

    They will microwave or cut up their strangled children if told it is their privilage and right.

    They will shoot husbands boyfriends and fathers of their children, if told it is their entitlement and right.

    They will demand 101% of income, assets, children if any and future imputable resources if told it is their right.

    They will even accuse their very sponsors in the state and the government of too little, too late, and not doing enough if told it is their right.

    There is nothing these imbeciles, rilled by feminism wont accept and swollow whole and without question if told it is their right.

    And this is what makes these women very very usefull to male usurpers of power and authority whom only see in them a godsent idiot gender-class of unthinking cattle. Only really usefull to the extent tyranny and caprice can be instituted in their name.

  • Mashed

    “Another useful strategy is the withering glance. Begin with eye contact; move down to the zipper. After making sure no camcorders are present, I often combo this move with a disgusted snort followed by a teeth-clenched snarl.”

    I recall as a young man I was commuting home from work when I “zoned out”, basically staring unseeing off into space occupied entirely inside my own head. I returned to full consciousness when the attractive woman who happened to be directly in the path of my gaze (but whom I had to this point failed to notice) sneered at me, very obviously expressing her contempt for me. All I could do at the time was laugh in her face for her presumptuousness and the confusion and bewilderment at my rejection of her authority to judge me was glorious to behold.

    The above quote from Nora Fox reminded me of my own experience with a self obsessed woman incapable of comprehending a world in which her judgment of me is not merely irrelevant, but distinctly amusing. Laughter is the best response to these bitchy fools, for they are profoundly amusing from the right perspective.

  • Squiggy

    Women, the superior sex? If true, then men have a duty to fight against their enslavement.

    Guys, learn to say “NO”! It works, and that “women are superior” attitude will go away.

  • Bruno

    Rape exists mostly in the fantasy of political propagandists and warmongers.
    The enemy army is always depicted as a group of rapists, in every war. All for political reasons, off course.
    And about rape in non-war situations?
    It is very doubtful.
    A man’s penis is a very sensitive and vulnerable organ.
    It is the very last thing you want to stick forward in a violent confrontation, together with your testicles and you eyeballs.
    Would you attack somebody with your eyeballs?
    I don’t think so.

  • http://remasculation.blogspot.com/ Snark

    zed, you know I love you. Time and again, you deliver. This is one of the best Men’s Movement pieces I’ve read, ever.

  • Bruno

    @ Poiuyt
    Remember the prison guards in WWII concentration camps, and the torturers in South-American dungeons?
    All normal loving family men.
    And the guys who dropped the A-bombs on Japan?
    Normal loving family men.
    My point is: anybody is capable of doing anything, including the most cruel and inhumane things, if he/she can be made believe it is his/her right and duty to do so.

  • http://www.unitywall.com TXM

    Thank you Zed,

    It is very rare that someone can come along and articulate things I have felt in such a clear and compelling way:

    “In speaking of the reasons for his choice (to opt-out of sex and love), he refers to the fact that things he shared in an atmosphere of trust were invariably used against him with incredibly malicious intent when the nature of the relationship changed. In his descriptions as well as many other conversations with men on this topic, the word “betrayal” comes up again and again.”

    Sure, I get mad at crazy feminists. However, beneath my anger is a very deep sadness.

  • Ivo Vos

    Feminist ideology was a good idea that turned sour and without attainable goals it was overtaken by angry and frustrated individuals and became a hate movement that for most members acts as a lightning rod for all kinds of fear, anger and frustrations. Hate movements such as today’s feminist’s movement have always been rather destructive. But especially today’s feminist ideology, aimed at the destruction of the core of sexually based love and to replace this with fear, is one of the most destructive movements of the last century. It is hate disguised as love, and that makes it unfortunately rather effective in it’s destruction, the very soul of a human society. And guess what, about one of the central tenets feminists are using to achieve their goal, forced sexuality, in a recent study the psychologist Jan Hendriks and the criminologist Anne-Marie Slotboom came to the conclusion that men and women force sex on one another about equally. My guess is that if we let the feminists have it their way, forced sex will become the norm, equally used by both sexes. That would be a true achievement for humanity.

  • http://thedamnedoldeman.com tdom

    Great article Zed.

    I have been in the middle of writing a half satirical/ half-serious piece for my blog. Your quotes of FACT and Nora Fox are very similar to something I’ve written as part of my piece. I refer to the withholding and granting of sex as part of “the principle of exploitation.” I start by turning a quote of Susan Bronwmiller on its head.

    “As soon as women learned that they could manipulate male behavior by granting or withholding sexual favors, they began to use sex to dominate men and force them into a lifetime of servitude.”

    Then I follow that with the principle of exploitation.

    “Sex and the withholding of sex is the historical source of female power. Gaining control over a man’s sexuality and using it to manipulate his behavior was the key to ensuring fidelity and obtaining economic security for life. Marriage was the institution that allowed women to gain control. In exchange for the promise of providing a regular sexual outlet, a woman gains a lifetime of economic security. The man becomes her indentured servant, required to provide the fruits of his labor (often at risk of life and limb) in order to meet his obligation.”

    I also use the story of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden to illustrate a woman’s ability to sexually manipulate and control male behavior. Eve becomes fascinated with Adam’s penis (the snake) and is charmed by it. She partakes of it while Adam is asleep and gains carnal knowledge. She then uses this knowledge to manipulate Adam into disobeying God. (remember I did say this was half satire).

    My piece isn’t posted yet (its not completed), but if you don’t mind, I may incorporate a few of your ideas. The article itself promotes “fraternalism” which is a sort of inverted feminism and discusses how women have used sex to “exploit” men.

    -TDOM

  • http://recklessnessandaudacity.blogspot.com TAllagash

    i find it oxymornic when any woman decides what other women can and cannot decide for themselves…as though a feminist on her high throne is the ultimate arbiter of truth.

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  • http://menarehumanstoo.blogspot.com/ Adi

    Wow. What a great and intense article.

    If only 10% of all women would read this article and if they only absorbed 10% of its content, the world would be a wonderful place for me.

    Oh well. Was a nice dream.

  • Denis

    Actually Zed you missed a few.

    I posted the following back in 2006 here at MND:

    by Denis
    Submitted on 2006/07/09 at 9:40am

    Here are some feminist quotes:

    Men who are unjustly accused of rape can sometimes gain from the experience.”
    Vassar College. Assistant Dean of Students – Catherine Comin

    All men are rapists and that’s all they are.
    Author; (later, advisor to Al Gore’s Presidential Campaign.) – Marilyn French

    I claim that rape exists any time sexual intercourse occurs when it has not been initiated by the woman, out of her own genuine affection and desire.
    Ms. Magazine Editor. – Robin Morgan

    (Rape) is nothing more or less than a conscious process of intimidation by which all men keep all women in a state of fear.
    Against Our Will p.6. – Susan Brownmiller

    Men are rapists, batterers, plunderers, killers; these same men are religious prophets, poets, heroes, figures of romance, adventure, accomplishment, figures ennobled by tragedy and defeat. Men have claimed the earth, called it Her. Men ruin Her. Men have airplanes, guns, bombs, poisonous gases, weapons so perverse and deadly that they defy any authentically human imagination.
    Pornography: Men Possessing Women – Andrea Dworkin

    Heterosexual intercourse is the pure, formalized expression of contempt for women’s bodies.
    - Andrea Dworkin

    When a woman reaches orgasm with a man she is only collaborating with the patriarchal system, eroticizing her own oppression.
    - Sheila Jeffrys

    All sex, even consensual sex between a married couple, is an act of violence perpetrated against a woman.
    - Catherine MacKinnon

    Men more and more are seeing the wreckage to society caused by feminism. Most men however do not have any idea of the degree of hatred and contempt feminists have for men. They truly wish that all men were dead.

    Some more hate:

    I want to see a man beaten to a bloody pulp with a high-heel shoved in his mouth, like an apple in the mouth of a pig.
    Ice And Fire – Andrea Dworkin

    ËœTo call a man an animal is to flatter him; he’s a machine, a walking dildo.”
    Scum Manifesto – Valerie Solanas

    The cultural institutions which embody and enforce those interlocked aberrations – for instance, law, art, religion, nation-states, the family, tribe, or commune based on father-right – these institutions are real and they must be destroyed.
    - Andrea Dworkin

    My feelings about men are the result of my experience. I have little sympathy for them. Like a Jew just released from Dachau, I watch the handsome young Nazi soldier fall writhing to the ground with a bullet in his stomach and I look briefly and walk on. I don’t even need to shrug. I simply don’t care. What he was, as a person, I mean, what his shames and yearnings were, simply don’t matter.
    The Woman’s Room – Marilyn French (remember, Marilyn French was an advisor to Al Gore’s Presidential campaign-their hatred has risen to high levels in the political class)

    We can’t destroy the inequities between men and women until we destroy marriage.
    From Sisterhood Is Powerful, (ed), 1970, p. 537 – Robin Morgan

    (It is the feminists who have been working, and succeeding, in destroying marriage)

    All men are good for is fucking, and running over with a truck.
    Statement made by A University of Maine Feminist Administrator, quoted by Richard Dinsmore, who brought a successful civil suit against the University in the amount of $600,000.

    Reference:
    http://mensnewsdaily.com/2006/05/08/feminist-hate-revisited-2/

  • DonnieH

    “Relying entirely on men’s sexual desire to compel them to pursue women and place themselves under the power of women to grant or withhold sex is a strategy that fails somewhere around age 40.”

    Actually, it can fail even sooner, especially if the woman’s abuse of the power granted to her by the man compels the him to reevaluate his vow of monogamy, if any. I found it interesting that you used “women” instead of “woman”, as different women may be, and often are, of different minds regarding granting favors to any particular man (see, e.g., Woods/Nordegren et al.)

  • Mr.K

    Zed,
    When early feminists were called “castrating feminists” it implied physical mutilation of men. But what feminist have done is mental and legal castration in which heterosexual activity is called “rape” and lesbian activity even with female predators of young girls a “good rape”, See Vagina Monologues: Wikipedia,

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Vagina_Monologues

  • Ben

    You say: “If only 10% of all women would read this article”

    Women are curiously absent from places like this…They really don’t care about arbitration and understanding about the feelings of men…These are either called misogyny (woman-hatred) or whining…

    Either way it is obvious to me that women think websites like this are about hating women…Women think this because they disrespect and discount the feelings and needs of men…

    So yes, 10% of women will not read this article..Maybe 2% if your lucky..Women have been taught to claim moral authority regarding the relationships of the sexes…Men simply do not have a voice…

    Women control social policy to the Federal level. One thing ubiquitous to all matriarchies is the absence of men from the family…We have a 40% single women birth rate…To me this will all end in one of two ways..men and part of the family and the lives of their children or men living in the peripheral as “isolated resource producing males” as feminists and women desire…

    I am afraid that the only time women will care about men is when it affects their own suffering…I think perhaps we starting to reach this point…

  • Ken

    It’s why there’s porn, prostitution and strip clubs. Men never seem to get enough of what women have to offer, so they seek “alternative” means.

    The fact that men must resort to fantasy should be enough of an indicator to women that they’re not making (and keeping) men happy. But yet they don’t see it, or they don’t care.

    When will women start being the women men desire again? Modest, pleasant, supportive…rather than snooty, recalcitrant and rudely dismissive. When they start being nice people again we might consider them more seriously in a romantic context.

  • http://shatterdmen.com/ Shatteredmen

    IF rape exists any time sexual intercourse occurs when it has not been initiated by the woman, out of her own genuine affection and desire.” Than why is it not rape if the reverse is true? If a woman is a victim of rape if she did not initiate sex, than would not a man be raped if he did not?

    IF women, as a group, are not strong enough to give meaningful consent,” than why all the jokes and cartoons about men having to sleep on the couch because he has been locked out of the bedroom? Even here, if he refuses to meet her sexual needs, do they not call it abuse? Why is all of this so one sided?

    IF All men benefit from rape, than why is it that men are the ones that want to assure the real rapist have a strict and harse penalty?

    Everyone of these shows the double standards and the projection of their own evil minds unto others.

    It is also my understanding that projecting our own faults on others is a sign of….mental illness. Projection is attributing your own repressed thoughts to someone else.

    Projection is considered one of the most profound and subtle of human psychological processes, and extremely difficult to work with, because by its nature it is hidden. It is the fundamental mechanism by which we keep ourselves uninformed about ourselves.

    Needless to say, gender feminist are experts at projection.

  • http://shatterdmen.com/ Shatteredmen

    tdom, Although you did say it was half satire, much damage has been done by half truths in the Bible. In fact, it was a half truth that caused the fall to begin with but I have to say that it was not sex that was the forbidden fruit. Adam and Eve were told to procreate “before” the fall.

    I also point out that the feminist movement began in the Garden of Eden.

    Gen 3:16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

    This “desire” does not mean she will want what Adam wants….it means she will desire to control him. The next statement also shows that it was GOD that set up the patriarchy so these feminist are in reality rebelling against GOD

    We also find an interesting thing about the curse placed upon men in the next verse: “And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife,” This is still happening in many of our homes and in many of our churches. Our churches have become feminized and they do not want to hear the truth of things such as domestic violence and false rape charges. They have accepted the VAWA hook line and sinker. I have not found one Christian ministry that deals with domestic abuse that will address this from the viewpoint that abused men face every day. Most every one of them will refuse to admit that men can be abused, let alone that they are half the victims of abuse.

    Pastor ken, director Shatterd Men

    http://shatterdmen.com/Jezebel%20Within.htm

    http://shatterdmen.com/Bitter.htm

  • http://shatterdmen.com/ Shatteredmen

    About.Com Divorce Support states:

    Withholding sex is about control. It’s a passive/aggressive way of expressing anger. Someone who withholds sex will imply by their actions that they have a lot to give. They are, by all outward indication sincere in their love for their spouse. They hook you in with sincerity and then they cut you off.

    They feel in control if they have the upper hand sexually. You are put in the position of being the one who initiates sex. Your spouse doesn’t have to do anything in the relationship except show up. All the work needed to develop and maintain a sexual bond is up to you. They don’t have to take responsibility for any problems in the marriage, and if the marriage ends they can point a finger at you for being the problem.

    http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/abusiverelationships/tp/Withholding-Sex.htm

    As a pastor, I also have to say that these marital rape laws are a bunch of hog wash. Paul told us in 1 Corinthians chapter 7 that if we lock our husband or wife out of the bedroom, we are defrauding them. He did say there is a reason to refrain from sex and that is for prayer and fasting and that is by consent and for a short time only. I doubt very much that there is much prayer going on when one is locked out of the bedroom. Worse yet, I have heard other pastors joke about having to sleep on the sofa and I contend…it is NOT a joking matter!

    Women are “turned on” by touch. Men mostly by sight. Yet we find women are allowed to dress provocatively in the workplace and they are not reprimanded? The gals on Fox News often wear low cut blouses or very short skirts and as a result, have to keep their legs crossed when on the air. I wonder if they do that off the air too or will they accuse their male co-host of harassment if they look at them for more than .23 seconds. I contend that if men can have harassment charges placed on them for looking….the women should be charged for showing.

  • http://thedamnedoldeman.com TDOM

    @Pastor Ken
    Thanks for the reply. Though raised a Christian, I am no Biblical scholar. I just thought the symbolism in that particular story lent itself quite well to a more humorous re-interpretation.

    My article masquerades as a serious discussion of the historical “exploitation” of men by women via the granting and withholding of sexual favors. It parallels feminist arguments about the historical “oppression” of women by men via rape and the threat of rape. It’s an alternate explanation that makes just about as much sense and is intended to point out the fallacy of arguing from a single point of view. That’s the satire. The humor is rather dry and will likely be missed by most readers, which is why I included the story abuot Adam and Eve. That should make it more obvious.

    The more serious discussion concerns the very legitimate goals of what I am calling fraternalism. It follows an ideal of inclusion and cooperation rather than exclusion and does not imply a hierarchery like feminism, masculism, patriarchy, or matriarchy. It acknowledges that brothers have sisters and that while men and women are different, we are all in this together.

    -TDOM

  • Jabberwocky

    “Men are still expected, and under great social pressures, to initiate, but are demanded to do so entirely in accordance with women’s specifications, desires, and needs. Failure to meet any of these is punishable by imprisonment.”

    And if not imprisonment, punishable by shame, humiliation, gossip, and sexual mocking.

    I would add in my opinion, that no man is allowed to reach his potential during his educational years, and therefore able to fully maximize his usefullness to society at large, as long as the vast majority of men are getting distracted, titilated, jerked around, or outright manipulated by female sexuality put constantly on display in front of their faces. If the word “rape” is going to have some broad, nebulous meaning, than let me assure every women out there, that the vast majority of men are “psychologically raped” by young women during their adolesence.

  • Robert Stevens

    This is nothing by the hate filled rantings of women who are pissed of that they are women. They have the “hole and not the pole” pardon my graphic description, that men have any rights at all and that women are now and will always be pursued as sex objects by men royally pisseds them off.. This is a natural and necessary function. A man must be aggresive, just as in any species the male must be aggressive if the species is to survive.
    Men need to stop trying to apologize to women because God made them women . Men need to stop trying to not be men becase some hate filled bitch does not like it.
    The day will come when this “little reminist rebellion” ends up on the ashheap of history and all this tomfoolery ends up gotten rid off and laughed at by people who have some common sense.

  • Trust

    I hereby declare that all heterosexual marriage is slavery and extortion. Men cannot give meaningful consent due to societal pressure, backed by the full force of the federal government, to lure them in with false statistics saying how much happier and healthier they will be, as well as the corresponding shame that not doing so is their “fear of commitment.” Men are therefore mislead and coerced into the contract without any say in how their future home, income, savings, and children will be taken from them, at gunpoint if necessary, through the party that mislead them into the contract to begin with. Men should have all the facts before consenting, and they are denied the relevant facts — and fed misinformation — to manipulate consent towards one lifestyle while believing they are getting another.

    Note to feminists and angry women (sorry for the redundancy): I was illustrating absurdity with absurdity. I don’t believe my above statement any more than I believe the all sex is rape nonsense.

  • http://mensnewsdaily.com MR Truth

    Rape is a physical assault of a sexual nature, nothing more, and nothing less. It is what I like to call PASN. Don’t let the feminists define rape as anything other than a physical assault of a sexual nature. As bad as rape is, it is not equivalent to murder or anything close. Yet, if you compare prison sentences you would think they were equal. Men are raped in prison everyday and nobody cares. Men are assaulted by women at home, on TV and in the movies all the time and nobody cares. The reason feminists are so aggressive about exaggerating the impact of rape, is because it is an attack on their power center. A woman’s greatest power is her sexuality. It is used to manipulate and control, and when a Man takes from them their most treasured commodity (as they look at it) they feel powerless. As with everything having to do with feminists, it is once again about power and superiority.

  • keith

    Rape!! it’s a tough one to get a handle on, as it usually involves a struggle. Or does it?

    It would seem at face value, that each of us, in consideration of it’s meaning if not the way we perceive it’s meaning, to be fundamentally wrong. So wrong is rape, that we wrap it in laws and punishment to help us abolish it. In so doing we also wrap the perception and definition of rape within the confines of our honor and justice and so govern ourselves personally.

    One is a law of reproach the other a law of approach.

    The political and the personal.

    As we march toward equality, to become more civil-eyed, the personal becomes political. In this shift of perception resides the law of approach that most of us understand as the entitlement of our beliefs. To be re-scripted in the shift.
    It is interesting that equality is an impersonal experience. It outwardly redefines the (in)-divid-u-al as a lesser being of significance. Homogenizing the human experience beyond the palette of a sensual and actualized reality.

    Our relationships and our matri-monies are a monetized economy that reduce the spark of life to a smoldering choking smoke.

    In financial markets today, vagina commodities have been re-indexed on a sliding scale, with a shift away from a demand side economy to a supply side. Those that have the price, are balking at fair trade practices and questioning the life cylce of current warranties. Much like the GM bailout the government is left to deliver on marketplace promises. But in a sellers market the bulls and bears seem to be running in circles at the lack of a viable solution, in an attempt to hold their own. The government again finds itself sliding into a warranty deficit. With taxation futures on the decline and vagina commodities drying up consumers are turning to offshore imports and exploitable black market sheep. Said one consumer “when I close my eyes it seems to feel the same” ,
    “but that bleeting sound, it’s like I keep hearing raaaaape”.

    In other news today, gender trade talks being held on a northern shelf ice flow, broke off this afternoon. As Andrea Dworkins “deliverance delegation” known for their tough negotiating position “what law”, stormed out of the meeting. Our eye on the guy news team caught up with Ms. Dworkin for an update. With nostrils flared and obviously steamed enough to iron a shirt, Ms. Dworkin was heard to say and I quote, “that bastard asked me out on a rape”. When questioned in custody by local authorities pending a trial on the allegations, Mr. Bastard responded “look, I said DATE not rape. And I didn’t ask her to dance, I said, you look fat in those pants”. An obviously shaky defense that is unlikely to stand up at the preliminary hearing.

    Over to you Zed!!






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