The Emotionally Abusive Woman: You Cannot Reason with a Crazy Person

And then,..here’s the topper!:You’re in preliminary stages of even a casual relationship. She vacillates between “I’m hot for you” and “Shame on you”. She squeezes you off and bends your “flow” so you go limp, then displays an attitude implying she was not satisfied. You can’t imagine this could be a ploy. How …..strange! And to what end???? You’ve got a lifetime of evidence to the contrary. She avoids eye contact and anything like meaningful talk until she decides it is time to use your bed to sleep in while you practice some “self-control”. Oh, that’s if you’re “man enough” not to feel offended after a couple days of one-sided caring, giving and showing deep affection with nothing in return.
–What could be the goal of such treatment, you wonder. STOP wondering!
Get rid of traces that she was ever there. Wipe clean your phone memory – texts and all -if you are prone to nostalgia and getting sentimental. Inform her that this one-sided, non-reciprocal scenario cannot be re-played again. I don’t care HOW much you enjoy going down on her. Realize, for yourself that THIS IS you being “man enough”, ’cause you deserve some lovin’ in return.
Not only that, but you deserve someone who can receive the love you’re trying to give. And yes, that means literally – physically – without some weird agenda to demean you.

Finally, afterwards, if you want that double re-assurance, and if you’re fortunate you can visit an “ex” who brought some passion with her when she came. And know, clearly, that this last poor girl had some issues. Don’t hate her. She’s probably so sad and lonely and seemingly without the faintest prayer of introspection that she’ll always be like this. It will always be “their fault”. “Your fault”. She’ll wistfully remember her partying days wishing she was still young. She’ll say her worried moments are over her strung-out son who is so emotionally screwed up and in denial he’ll likely never get right. ….But,…Wait! Watch out, Hero! That’s pity! Not love. Don’t start the cycle all over again! Remember? You can’t fix or help her. She wants none of it, anyway, as you will so vividly recall. And, no settin’ the record straight. It ain’t gonna happen! So don’t forget, THIS is you being a man. Old world man; your father’s man; New Age man; whatever. IT DON’T MATTER! Walk away.
You’ll be a NEW man.

thank you. this made my day, and really hits the nail on the head.

What Happens when a man or woman dies? They lose their Identity as either man or woman and thus identify with their indestructible and universal spirit. I wonder if we got thru all the BS stated above, and found that core of spiritual identity before we go to the other side physically. I think this is what becoming self actualized is. Another one: What if, just like in the movie, The Matrix, you have woke from a life that was utter bs to discover what was really going on….people, deep down, are spiritually connected as one, yes, the ego is what causes individualization on the surface….so think like this, if you fundamentally knew that when you called another person crazy, or accused them of anything…you were really doing it to your greater Self en masse… Things might change, like we all might take ownership of humanity and get somewhere. What is given above and what is mentioned in psychology is this: same fucking story, just a different tune. When you play at the level of the beast, then you can get ultra complicated systems and institutions like psychology. When you spiritually mature, and realize your not a sack of meat and neurons. You can transcend this BS. NOW, if you are on a soul path with someone, and they are choosing to not “grow along” with you after you have approached them as a compassionate example, v.s. not “running away” after you have approached them as an unmovable and unshakable force of spirit, and they are still not going along, then yes, it will be clear that one should move on, however, I have yet to see this happen. One must pull the beam out of there own eye before they judge another. It is easy to just sit back and throw shit at each other like a wild cro magnon monkey, however the result is a complicated mess of puke ass drama and a bunch of professionals getting paid to swim in it. It takes discipline or rather LOVE to rise up to something higher than just the physical self and ego. Yeah, I guess you could say that my wife is crazy as fuck, yet deep down, she is just like me or you…..an eternal spirit of God. Realizing this, I put my foot down like an unstoppable force when I am confronted with any negative energy output from her……….works like a charm and she gradually snaps to, yep growth baby! Finally found that shit after 7 years…It’s called modeling in Neuro linguistic programming. Be what you want them to be. Or as Jesus said, be a light unto other men. Here’s the secret for free if u did not already get and I will tell you how I did it. I went inside my little brain, and took control there, as that is where the game is initially played and rooted. It takes two cooperators in ignorance. I realized the only control that I have , and immediate control at that, was with my own ego. When I started to stonewall all the negativiy in my ego when it pushed my Spirit around, oh yeah, it protested, but i stood there like a brick wall. Eventually, gradually, my ego started breaking against my spirit into fragments and restructuring itself along the principles of what is true, deep, and the only reality. These fragments of ego are how you get controlled when the other fragments of ego that control your partner jump out and control you. Look at a dispute like this: Two spirits that ant to connect for that is all they know to do before coming here, however they are both jailed and cuffed in a cellar on a bread and water diet, while a third party, disinterested proxy called an ego plays the two captives against each other. This is a virus of the mind, not a “crazyperson” And in order to be played by the virus, you must have a virus in your own mind that can communicate back with the other virus. IE, pull this little sucker outta of your brain, and you cannot be manipulated anymore. To the dgree that you decive your Self is to the same degree that “another can deceive you”

I am not perfect, I just became an adult. As long as I am in this meatsack with a 3 pound piece of reptilian meat on the end of a spinal skewer, I will be growing in the presence of entropy…have not turned into an avatar and transcended or vaporized by any means. This is just some real, good, and true shit that I pulled outta my heart, not a book:) Even tho I wrote a book:)  Principles like this can be found in several ancient texts, so what I say is nothing special, same story but a diff tune. No need for college with this stuff, just life experience. I want you to imagine something else: Imagine the most controlling, manipulating, mostscariest threat in front of you that presses your buttons, now imagine that no matter what they do, there was nothing inside of you that could be moved. You thus responded in the most enlightened and compassionate way, that your brain could never think up…it just flowed out of you and melted all resistnce and opposition. Imagine that the agressor, having never seen this before IE why there probaly an aggressor…and you actually influence and inspire them…wow, that is raw power. Every damn motherfuggin human that walks this planet has that ability. If you are in a crazy ass relationship, it means you have something to learn, and that is how to love deeper by overcoming the world within, not overcoming your partners craziness, for this is WHAT FUELS IT IN YOU AND IN HER AND IN HUMANITY! you do it by finding your Self in contrast to the dark background, not getting lost in the dark background. Once the negativity in your relationship causes you to overdose on bs that comes from your very own ego or anothers….then it has served a major purpose, to get you to wake da fug up. Once you are awoken, you can never be hurt again to the degree of that awokeness. Sleeping people get hurt, and this hurt is only there to wake them up. When one partner has withdrawn there energies from the battle, and turned within to find that untoucable spot. They have power. real power. Love. Now you can be standing on the bank of the river and reach in to grab the drowning victim. If you fall in and drowned with thm…you were nver anchored and your pltform was faulty. Whatever can be shaken and moved in your personality, is obviosly built on the shifting sands of earthly BS. Use the “crazy person” as an opportunity to forgive and be compassionate toward you very own Self. Because in reality, this is the case, and in reality, you will never drown for how can the most powerful force in the universe die? If you ain’t gettin results, go deeper. Still no results, keep digging and digging and digging and you will find your Self. This is the only reason that we make a chice to come to this plane of existence. To find love, and then start spreading it with glee thru purpose.

Mike (Near death experiencer x2)

http://www.overcomeyourworld.com

This is bull. This article gives a free ride to abusive women, and they know it. It used to be that society emotionally and socially punished people for being abusive, and now psychs just tell you to take it and move on-letting them get away with it.

I say we return to punishing them, wholeheartedly, and expecting people to hold to a standard instead. Lookit how many shooting there are-all by people who were nto protected by others. Do we have to keep accepting Ayn Rand’s idea some peopel deserve to be hurt, and anything goes verbally, and put up with this side effect forever. All the police in the world won’t change this. People have to be taught and then pushed to punish and discipline themselves on the inside.

Guilt is a good thing.

life is too short to deal with a nut-case. disconnect.

I think “crazy” needs a better definition. In psychology, there really is no term for “crazy”, only abnormal psychology. In lay terms, “crazy” just means some far out behavior, but it never really receives an explanation.

I have come to the conclusion that people are driven primarily by one of two circuits in the brain: the limbic system, and the prefrontal cortex. The limbic system controls memory and emotions (hippocampus and amygdala respectively), among other things. Some call it part of the “reptilian brain”, or the primitive brain. In contrast, the prefrontal cortex is associated with higher brain functions, self control, logic/reasoning skills, behavior inhibition, and personality.

People who are primarily driven by the limbic system become emotional at certain stimuli, and lack the ability to contain their emotions, particularly under stress. They can become emotionally involved in arguments, and lack the ability to contain strong emotions. They can “fly off the handle” at certain things, or become angry at someone quite easily. They lack the emotional inhibitors of the prefrontal cortex as well as behavior inhibition. They can be impulsive, and can become addictive to stimulating or pleasurable behavior. Without the restraint of the prefrontal cortex, they can become violent. Most, if not all criminals are driven by the limbic system.

People who are driven by the prefrontal cortex can mask or inhibit their emotions better. They still feel the same emotions, but can limit the severity and expression of those feelings. People driven by the prefrontal cortex are better at controlling their behavior, and are less likely engage in risky or impulsive actions. They are much less likely to commit crimes or become violent. Reasoning, problem solving skills, and critical thinking arise out of the prefrontal cortex.

I agree with the article but think it is an example of medicalizing a behavior. Are genecidal groups, suddenly enmasse crazy? Did communist, jihadist and other oppressive groups suddenly overnight gone crazy. Obviously not. Their behavior is was such that it benefitted them and they could care less about anyone else.

Labeling western womens behaviour as crazy is useful in that we realize it is not our fault and that they can’t be changed.

But selfish, inconsiderate, boreish, lacking in empathy and extremely cruel are how I would describe 99+ percent of women today, not all women, just some.

That kill their unborn etc. remark was in response to your inane statement applying to today, entitled as you are to your opinion, about women “not needing no theories to justify their actions”

“What’s a passionate viril young man to do?”
I’ve been passionate and viril since puberty,and I still am at 63 years, but never did and never will let a women sh** on me. I enjoyed a marriage that I wish all people could have if they desire. I NEVER had any serious problems with girlfriends, even today, as my marriage was cut short early because I honored our wedding vows.

I couldn’t go to your link, and probably don’t need to.
I survived nicely in the male/female relationship my entire life without pathetic excuses for failure.
When we say “get a pair”, we don’t mean lose control of the rest.

“To me, it seems your article implies this problem might improve in some way through possibly counselling etc.. It will never improve enough, if at all, on a psychoanalyst’s sofa. Any meaningful positive change must happen in the hearts and minds of men first.”

Why “men first?” Why not women first? Under chivalry aren’t women supposed to go first? Oh, wait a minute, that’s right, under the undying theory of Patriarchy in these kind of decisions men have all the power and control and power oppressed women are just helpless and have no responsibility. And isn’t it convenient to expect men to be the ones to change have this craziness so any future problems can always be laid at men’s feet?

In reality, men who are interacting with such crazy women are powerless to change the crazy women’s behavior. Their best option is to flee. But not all the craziness belongs to crazy women.

As long as there are humans, there will always be sexually starved men begging for gratification like little puppies holding out their leashes to an abusive master, begging to be jerked around.

Consequently, there are a lot of men tripping over the double standards in male and female roles that have been foisted on modern society by chivalry and gender feminism, oh, and let’s not forget – - – BY MOTHER NATURE.

The species survival instinct of mother nature that exists in all living things, often subconsciously, may be the biggest craziness of all and she don’t need no stinking theories to justify her actions, just survival. – in my opinion.

What’s a passionate young man to do? It appears this problem for a viral young man isn’t in his heart, or his mind, but in a still lower region of his anatomy. After all the psychoanalysis, it all comes down to some pretty basic facts, eh?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7r-V1id038

I couldn’t disagree with your article more.
Firstly, the term “crazy” has always meant or implied to me that the afflicted person has some sort of mental disfunction etc. for which they have little or no control over.
Since this female “craziness” you speak of, seems to have prolifrated beginning with the modern women’s movement of the last forty years or so, I have to conclude, for that and many other reasons, that it is no coincidence. For the most part, this atrocious and destructive behavior is voluntary. They are behaving “crazy” because our feminist dominated and controlled culture ALLOWS, and even ENCOURAGES it.

Let’s ask why this “craziness” is evident mainly when men are involved, the group that suffers from it, along with children, the most. It looks too much selective craziness.

Of course, I realize that some women are truly mentally disabled, as men are, but that is a small part of the female population. What we are discussing here is a trend.

To me, it seems your article implies this problem might improve in some way through possibly counselling etc.. It will never improve enough, if at all, on a psychoanalyst’s sofa. Any meaningful positive change must happen in the hearts and minds of men first. Only then will it go to the next crucial step, the legislative level where real change will begin. There is where the feminists started and where they still have control. Where they keep men and children imprisoned in their cesspool creation of feminist dictatorship. There is where men must go. If adaquate numbers of men don’t realize this and act accordingly, there is no hope.

Yes, I do agree with your “crazy”.

CRAZY LIKE A FOX

Sarcasm, with a twist of feminist, emotional idiocy:

These women are no bullies, just hormonally imbalanced, or experiencing their time of the month, or menopausal, or the children got on their nerves, or there was a full moon, or…

Don’t upset these women please, at least not anymore than they already are. You just don’t know what it’s like to be a woman. You just don’t understand. Being a woman is so difficult. Women deserve special courtesies, special treatment, extra consideration, special laws, special programs, special services, special entitlements, special…

Women are oppressed, but men have it so easy. They don’t have any problems. They don’t need anything. Women are so much stronger and better than men. I’m glad I’m not a man. Men are crazy.

How can men be so insensitive? They’re brutes for not caring more about women and deserve to be abused. And now we have the Violence Against Women Act to stand up for women, no matter how badly they’re driven to behave against men. It’s about time. It’s all men’s fault. Men should meet all of women’s needs and they shouldn’t have to be told. They should know. Making women yell at men and beat them and tell them what we want, when men already know what women want is just another form of abuse that men use against women. They outrage is unbearable. – Josephine Bidenocrat, V.P. of the American Femiocracy

End sarcasm.

I wouldn’t be surprised if we soon see a statue erected in Washington, D.C. to the dementedly imagined, unknown, all suffering American woman – victim, yet super woman and avenger. No elected official would dare question such an image, or vote against taxpayer funding, based on all the femi-farces government now subsidizes. Too bad there couldn’t be a genuine statue erected to all those millions of American women who are — fraudulent victims, yet batterers — whiners, yet fraudulent victims and all the billions of taxpayer’s dollars that have been wasted feeding their insanity for votes.

This is a very good article. Maybe excellent.

It’s natural to try to relate to the people around you. To try to understand why they say and do what they say and do. Some people are such pure a$$holes that you won’t be able to relate to them unless you’re as pure an a$$hole as they are. Sometimes an inability to understand or relate to someone is a sign that nothing is wrong with you. If you can’t relate to bad people, maybe you just aren’t a bad person.

@ bizzman662

Once you have involved yourself with such a woman there is not leaving without “drama.” These women, by nature, always and from the very start of a relationship try to put you in a no win situation.
Having children with one of these people puts you in an almost impossible situation. Thank God I never got that far with the one I almost married!
The best thing to do, if you are not living with them, is to simply write an email telling her that it is over and cut off all communication with her. If you are living with her then you must make plans to move out without her knowing it, and don’t tell ANYBODY about it as she will have imbedded herself into your family and social life. Then, when the day comes, call the police and tell them that you need an officer there when you move your stuff out. Yes, believe it or not the police will do this for you because this kind of stuff happens all the time and you are entitled to their protection. This may sound silly and extreme but believe me a woman like this will pull out ALL of the stops when you leave her. She will lie to the cops, she will shit mouth you to your family, she will throw a violent rage and there will be no end to it until she is completely out of your life.
Hold on tight, because you will be in for a rough ride! You will lose friends and your relationship with your family will be strained. One way to mitigate this is to write an email to all of your friends and family documenting her abuse. Many will not believe and some will actually ridicule her but your true loved ones will support you.
Once in an engrained relationship, especially a live in one, with one of these people there is no getting out unscathed.

Sweet! Once again spot on Dr. Tara Every time I read one of your articles I feel as if you are talking directly to me….

Of course it is impossible to reason with an emotionally violent and or physically abusive woman. But at least one has the option of refusing to try at all where no kids of a man are involved.

What is more difficult is trying to reason with or even avoid State institutions and agencies that manipulatively support and surborne these unreasonable irrational female bullies especially where a mans kids are involved.

And these State institutions supporting these abusive women to the detriment of men and their kids, do so on the pretext that womens exhibited abusiveness is evidence of them being mens victims of sorts.

But what in fact is happening is the State institutions manipulatively ensuring forever greater and greater professional work for themselves by continuous engendering of perpetual conflict between their supported abusive women and all others.

Dr. Tara,

Can your next article be about how to LEAVE this woman without all the “drama” that comes with it.

I would appreciate something along those lines if you would be so kind.

Thank you for your articles…..very eye opening.