Vagina Monologues: Emailing in Hell!

July 25, 2003

I first encountered the radical feminists while on the college debate circuit as their names and evil arguments were hurled at me for the better part of three years.  Names like Dwokin, MacKinnon and French filled my ears with hyper verbal excrement.  I heard things like “Men rape and murder women and women are a man’s prey.”  Every syllable rung false.  I knew I had never done either of those things to women and neither had any other man I’d known.  It was then that I realized that it was I who was their prey.

They’ve seduced the media and the academy into believing that they are representative of all women.  I suspect that they represent fewer than 1% of the female population.  The infamous phrase by T. Grace Atkinson, the first New York President of the National Organization of Women (NOW) sums up my beliefs regarding the ideology of radical feminism.   She said “feminism is the means, lesbianism is the ends.”  I agree wholeheartedly.  The mass majority of those who produce the radical feminist hate speech exist to dehumanize men and desire to relegate us to the status of household pests.  They then desire to swoop in like Orkin employees and, through the Sexual-Harassment Industry and domestic upheaval laws turning divorce court into a male orchestrated vendetta, rid females of our presence and insinuate themselves into our role as spouses and caretakers.

In my opinion, Eve Ensler is a radical lesbian who uses The Vagina Monologues as a weapon to denigrate male/female relations and her work is an attempt to render us as superfluous to the lives of women.  It is a tribute to self-absorption.  Her play has duped thousands of women who have no idea that she is a lesbian and, when I inform them of her orientation, they do not see how it might have anything to do with their enjoyment of her work. 

I was horrified by what I read about it and the quotations from the play.  I discovered that it contained a homosexual rape of a 14 year old by an adult female.  How can there be no outrage over this?  The answer is that, thanks to thirty years of radical lesbianism and feminism, we live in a world where only men can be guilty of evil and “womyn”, no matter what they do, are always innocent.  Thanks to this double standard The Vagina Monologues gets away with not murder but rape.

This subject became topical again due to 9/11 and the war in Iraq.  While watching the footage from Iraq I was reminded of how serious this world actually is and how kind and gentle males in America are in comparison to the Islamofascists we are now fighting.  The western female is the most pampered and worshipped creature on earth, but you’d never know it when listening to the radical feminists.

As a way to prove my allegations true, I’ve written emails to various feminist organizations and public figures in an attempt to draw their true beliefs and tendencies out into the open.  I even emailed the infamous Hillary Clinton.  She did not respond but you would think she would have as her photographic representation is visible in my apartment (it is suspended in the center of my doormat and has remained masochistically smiling throughout the last two years despite the mud and snow that my boots have emptied upon it). 

I will now please my radical feminist readership, just in case one of them accidentally is blogging our way, by stating that there are some jobs that a man is incapable of doing.  The particular job I’m thinking of is hustling a response out of a feminist website.  No, I can’t see them responding to anything that a male would say.  Therefore, I gave the job of contacting Eve Ensler to my trusted companion and alter ego, “Betsy” Chapin.  Betsy’s a wily one and is the beneficiary of the thousands of pages of radical feminist materials that I’ve irritably slogged through over the years.   Sometimes, due to caprice, I’ve had Betsy go by “Bernadette, Beatrice” or “Bethany” when she feels like it.   You can see below that I have attempted to get her to speak in the sing-song, “I’m a cluebag,” vocal style that dominates those who ascribe to the fictional tenets of the radical feminists.  I thought I’d have her email Eve Ensler at her website as a means to draw the demon forth.   This email and the response to it was sent in the summer of 2001.

Subject: Eve Ensler, Goddess!

Dear Eve Ensler,

I love the Vagina Monologues and I love V-Day because I was

battered for over six months by my former lover, Marcia, and the day has special meaning for me.  It celebrates my violence free life.  You know with your work, men just don’t get it!  I read your interview at randomhouse.com and thought it profound!  I agree with you, it totally changed my relationship with my vagina.  I loved “I feel that I’m inside my vagina for the first time in my life” and even though it is kind of dark and yeasty it feels like home.  Can we start calling each other cunt?  I notice that you called Hillary Clinton by that name and I couldn’t agree more.  There are a lot of people I’d like to start addressing by that moniker.  Also, you mentioned being “obsessed with women being violated and raped, and with incest.”  Is it possible that this could be a projection based on something you’ve done in the past?  Because the “coochi snorcher” monologue about the woman raping the 14 year old girl certainly is “controversial” but I can’t help but wondering if it’s something you may have done in real life.  Have you?  Do you think we should craft laws exempting lesbians from pedophilia because technically we’re not men.  I mean that’s who the laws apply to right?  Maybe we should craft laws exempting lesbians from pedophilia because technically we’re not men.  I mean that’s who the laws apply to right?  Maybe we should have special laws based on sexual orientation.  No, I guess that would make us above the law, wouldn’t it?  Although violating 14 year olds might perhaps interfere with your desire to “create a world where women could live safely and freely without being abused or raped” but maybe we can change the vocabulary in the instance of a woman raping another woman.  We could call it “buggering” or something like that.  Oh, well, just a summary thought.  Please email me back I’d love to interact  with you.

Your friend and vaginal admirer,

Betsy Chapin

Heh, heh, heh.. It seems my ludicrous tone and complete characterological void produced believability as a certain Ms. X  was sold on my being a lifetime member of the ‘sistahood’.

Ms. X  was not Eve Ensler unfortunately but she does (or at least did) answer questions for Eve Ensler at one time.  I voided out her name in order to protect my dear friend Betsy from the legal process.  You would think my mentioning of a domestic violence case between two women would have been an immediate giveaway that I was not the usual space cadet who emails them, or was at least up to something, but apparently it wasn’t as the pig took the swill.  Here’s her response:

Subject: Re: Eve Ensler, Goddess!

Thank you for your bright, sharp, asking-all-the-right-questions, open minded e-mail.  Eve regrets that she can’t attend to every e-mail, even tempting ones entitled “Eve Ensler, Goddess!”  So I am answering on her behalf, to let you know that she is thrilled that you really get what V-Day and “The Vagina Monologues” are about, and that you have a strong commitment to living a violence –free life.  Isn’t calling women “cunt” a total revelation?  Anyway, reading your inquiries about the young woman in “The Little Coochie Snorcher that Could,” Eve did change the age to 16 to make the interaction legal.  She did this to preserve the intention of the piece, which was never to paint lesbians as pedophiles or to in any way sanction pedophilia.  It was a memory in a woman’s story.  Although the protagonist is young, and what happened to her wasn’t necessary “right”, the “pretty secretary” in the monologue is experienced and remembered as a loving figure, a woman who unleashes the young sexual abuse victim from the chains of fear and shame about her body, and helps her to embrace her sexuality, freeing her to know her pleasure and power again.

Thanks again for writing with your thoughts.

Warm regards,

[Ms. X]

What does one make of such a mind?  What a complete holiday from reality.   I guess my Betsy was wrong, “men really do get it.”  It seems that the celebrities and politicians and media figures are the ones who don’t get it.  Having warm memories of being violated as a 14 year old?  Exactly whom are you putting this one by?  I guess the general public as societal radar is only tuned in to male brutality and is not even remotely concerned with what illegal acts a female might commit. 

The most bewildering thing about her response is that, in our society, a person who advocates 51% of the population being above the laws for rape and battery is considered tolerant and “open-minded” but I am considered a Neanderthal right-winger for believing in universal applicability of the law to all citizens.  I don’t advocate anyone’s rape or battery regardless of their sex, age or orientation.  As for the radical feminists, whether rape is a felony probably depends on the circumstances.  

The real gorilla in the living room is that she said “Isn’t calling women `cunt’ a total revelation?”  Well, no, it isn’t.   But calling Ms. X and her fellow lesbian conspirators “cunt” is a total revelation and also quite therapeutic.  She also apparently agrees with Betsy’s joy over Eve using that term to describe Hillary Clinton.  A great many other citizens would agree with her.

Her statement about changing the age to 16 is quite enlightening.  I guess the intention of the piece within The Vagina Monologues was to legitimize rape as opposed to legitimizing rape and pedophilia.  I’m glad she makes this distinction.  I’m sure our society will profit from knowing that it’s young won’t be raped until they reach the age of 16.  Ensler apparently changed the age from 14 to 16 to avoid illegality but in her interview she says that all of these monologues are based on real women’s stories so, if this is true, then the source she sited was certainly guilty of statutory rape as well.  I would further argue that age 14/16 is an arbitrary distinction which does little to alter the inconsistencies between this monologue and the way the radical lesbians present themselves to the populace.

Ms. X says that the pretty secretary is remembered as a loving figure so that makes it okay.  I’m surprised a person like this has the wits to get out of her own driveway.   According to her if rape is remembered fondly then it has profound personal and societal benefit.  There’s no getting around it, that’s the argument here and it represents the moral and intellectual depravity of the vast majority of the Feminazis.  Notice that sex is the highest criteria for life.  Good sex validates all forms of malicious behavior as long that sex is homosexual and never heterosexual.  And how would being raped decrease one’s shame?   What a dumb assertion.  Absolutely no authority on the topic of rape would agree with such a statement.  How would being raped increase one’s power?  This wildly clashes with any and all radical feminist claims.  I’d also argue, as would many evolutionary psychologists, that rape isn’t about power anyway.   Yet Ms. X implying that being raped increases a person’s sense of power is antithetical to everything that the radical feminists stand (scream) for.  Apparently all truths are negotiable when it comes to homosexual activity.  All radical feminist principles (sic) become invisible if one of their members is attempting to legitimize homosexual practice and to increase the oversexualization of our culture.  Thank you Ms. X, as you proved everything I’ve ever said or thought to be true.

Bernard Chapin