When it comes to sex and dating all too often we are concerened what the other sex wants. Admit it, you don't really care what the other sex wants. You really care what you want.

Be it a roll in the hay, a walk in the park, or a long lasting journey of love and commitment - even in this hostile-to-marriage climate we live in.

You already know what you want. If you don't, don't waste your time going after a woman. Even asking the question, "What do women want?" is misleading. The constant barrage of propaganda that women are a mystery is misleading (and vice versa for the female readers of this website).

I'll make it simple, communists (and they are my new whipping post so get used to it) hate the relationships between men and women for one reason. That reason is that man and woman have a relationship of barter.

Now you may go on about the "whore factor", but let's just skip that and say this is a positive relationship for now.

Each guy has a girl he admires, each to his own choosing. Some like blondes, some like brunnettes, some like freaky gothic ghoul looking chicks (who I currently have a crush on right now), and yes some like red heads.

Don't think of what women want in the plural. You're not after a plural girl; you're after one. It could be that blonde that works at the coffee shop, or a waitress, or a struggling actress.

As a man that is motivated by the beauty of this woman (a subjective beauty), you have to make contact. You have to say, "I like you" in so many words. Something that let's her know you're interested.

Is your ego fragile? Sorry about your luck, but don't hang all your hopes on one woman: it doesn't give you much of a position to bargain from. And I gurantee you that the more you ask, the more opportunities you will have with women. So, if you are reading me correctly, then you've guessed that I am talking about treating the relationship like a negotiated agreement.

If she is interested in you, it's all good. But, just like every negotiator or bargainer, they try to keep their secrets to themselves. They don't want to reveal their hand, so to speak.

If you want to buy a car, do you sit around looking from the outside wondering what the salesmen will take for that car? Pinning all day long hoping you can get the car? No, that's pretty fricking ridiclous isn't it?

You have to go in and talk to the guy to find out if he will take a lower price, or a price you can deal with. It may be a one of a kind car, but that's no matter, you're still negotiating and you can't let that out of the bag unless you really think it will help your position.

Timing is crucial. It's not always price that get's the car; it's how badly the salesman wants to sell the car. Women are no different. She may have a boyfriend or husband. In which case you should probably drop pursuit. If she's available, it might get interesting. You're frumpy; she's refined. The more you discuss with her, the more she lets you know what *she* wants in a man. Because *she* won't be telling you what all *women* want. She's not interested in them and neither should you at the moment.

What do men want? I want a girl that's pretty. I want a girl with nice breasts. I want a girl with nice teeth. But I want a girl that is fun to be with, that I can talk to. One that I can enjoy my time with. One that likes sex as much as me (don't worry these women do exist). Maybe sex isn't all that important and just having someone to walk the dog with is aces (I'm alergic to dogs but whatever).

I'm going to be brutally honest - that's how I like to write - so don't get too pissy when I say this, because I believe it's true. I like to be seen with a hot girl so that I can feel confident about myself. Guess what, so do women. Many women like status, your status, because it gives them status. They like to say they date so and so (and forget the communist/feminist propaganda because women only pay it lip service when it suits them, then jump the fence when it doesn't).

That's why they like musicians, it puts them in the spotlight. That's why they date arrogant egomanic type guys, it gives them a false pretence, but it still gives them something more than what they had.

If I asked you what you want, you could very well tell me you want the moon. Why not go for the stars right? But define it, as in "what do you want for this car?" It narrows it down. Just like when you ask a woman what she wants in exchange for her. That's when the coversation becomes more reasonable. She knows what she's worth, even if she does have an inflated or deflated ego, it's still going to be relative to you.

If she tells you she wants the moon, it's likely she doesn't want to sell to you. That's okay. Don't even let it bother you. Never commit yourself over one woman so badly that it skews your vision and rationality. Ask her sister out, her best friend or don't. You have to remind yourself that you are a good bargain and that they didn't see the value. You don't even have to be rude about this, because believe it or not, many a salesmen have chased a potential buyer out into the parking lot in order to make the deal.

Now combine this with tact, ingenuity, artistic flavour, experience, politeness and an all around love for the game, because women will be telling you what they want just as soon as you ask them. It's about what you want that matters first.

Dan Lynch