The Experts Were Wrong Again

January 19, 2004

We begin with more commentary from the Black & Right Sports Desk…

The NFL Championship Playoffs

Through the latter part of the season, the anointed directed us to join them in their ongoing adoration of Philadelphia Eagles’ Donovan McNabb and Indianapolis Colts’ Payton Manning.  McNabb just to prove Rush wrong and Manning to prove the Patriots were an undeserving fluke, again.

So throughout Sunday’s national telecasts, through two disastrous performances, the commentators did everything they could to convince us that their heroes would ultimately save the day.  In the end, Manning continually shook his head while eating the words of teammate Marcus Pollard who earlier in the week said the NFL should just start making Colts Super Bowl rings.  Donovan McNabb was reduced to a frozen snot-nosed pouter who should have eaten a bit more of the Chunky Soup to stick to his bashed-in ribs.

The real winners are the New England Patriots and the Carolina Panthers who will meet in Super Bowl XXXVI.  I can hardly wait for two weeks of ramp-up of which we’ll hear how much better a Super Bowl it would’ve been if Donovan and Payton were playing….

And now, the news.

What Is He Thinking?

Politics is a lot like football: it’s a game of strategy and you never really know what the other team is planning until you see execution.  President Bush may have his reasons for going soft on illegal aliens, and in the end I hope he wins the big one, because he’s really starting to irritate his hometown fans.

The vice president of the National Border Patrol Council called Bush’s proposed guest worker program a "slap in the face to anyone who has ever tried to enforce the immigration laws of the United States."

I’d have to agree.

"…implies that the country really wasn’t serious about" immigration enforcement in the first place.  Hey, you know all those illegal aliens you risked life and limb to apprehend?  FAH-GED-ABOWD-IT.  President Bush has solved the problem.  Don’t be confused and call this an 'amnesty', even though those who are here illegally will suddenly become legal and will be allowed to stay here.  The president assures us that it’s not an amnesty.”

·  National Border Patrol Council Vice President John Frecker

It’s easy to have pity for 8 million to 12 million (estimated) people just looking for a way to support their families when you live in relatively unaffected regions.  But it you live in the highly infected Border States, the symptoms are all around you as these people slap our laws in our faces while they exploit the system to their advantage.

And whatever the new “rules” turn out to be, and what is being proposed is insulting (and not worth repeating), what’s to say the new “rules” won’t be broken again?  These people have no respect for our laws (never did), neither does their country (never did), and no law is worth their word to obey it.

Moving Right Along.org

I’m sure one could feel the liberal love at last week’s New York City MoveOn.org award ceremony.  Since the national networks weren’t covering this event, the stars felt free to let us know where they’re coming from… and they did.

"Despite all of this stupid bullshit that the Republican National Committee, or whatever the fuck they call them, that they were saying that they're all angry about how two of these ads were comparing Bush to Hitler?  I mean, out of thousands of submissions, they find two.  They're like fucking looking for Hitler in a haystack.  You know?  I mean, George Bush is not Hitler.  He would be if he fucking applied himself.  I mean he just isn't.  I think this last year has just proven how stupid Republicans are."

· Margaret Cho, Comedienne

"I mean, I'm afraid of terrorists, but I'm more afraid of the Patriot Act.  But truly, seriously, quite frankly, the people are smart enough to realize that the world is important and we only have one life, that's tired of this bullshit, or better than that, tired of this Bushshit.  Son of a Bush and his crew is at it again, because, we do not want eight years run by a Colon, a Bush and a Dick."

· Chuck D, “Public Enemy” rapper

"I was worried that some soldiers over in Iraq who are actually younger than I am would see some salacious report on MSNBC and think that I was attacking them and not the government that put them there.  And I was afraid that Bill O'Reilly would come and, with a shotgun at my front door and shoot me for being unpatriotic.  But I decided that that's actually, that fear that was silencing me is actually why it's so important that MoveOn exist and do this ad contest..."

· Julia Stiles, Actress (who cares…?)

"I'm here to present the funniest ad award.  I'm a last-minute substitution; former Treasury Secretary Paul O'Neill was supposed to be the presenter, but unfortunately he was murdered."

· Al Franken, Comedian

"…big fat fucking liar."

· Moby, Musician

I’m going to take a shower… brb.

Another Reason Gore Lost

Simply, because he’s stupid.

Thinking he could perpetuate the 2000 Election pity-party, Al Gore ingratiated us with his intelligence by giving a global warming speech in NYC during the coldest week in a decade.  He could have waited until another annual sweltering heat wave to hit the nation, but no; he picked a week where kids were excused from school due to deadly wind-chills to tell us how the world was heating up.

“I don't think there is any longer a credible basis for doubting that the earth's atmosphere is heating up because of global warming.”

The walk between the lecture hall and the gas-guzzling limo is probably a short one.

“And wealthy right-wing ideologues have joined with the most cynical and irresponsible companies in the oil, coal and mining industries to contribute large sums of money to finance pseudo-scientific front groups that specialize in sowing confusion in the public's mind about global warming.  They issue one misleading "report" after another, pretending that there is significant disagreement in the legitimate scientific community in areas where there is actually a broad-based consensus.”

While in the White House, Clinton and Gore did nothing to “solve” our global warming crisis.  If it was a life and death fight as Gore claims, why did Clinton spend so much time issuing pardons to friends instead of fighting for the Kyoto directives, as well as issuing executive orders to address global warming domestically?

Because wealthy left-wing environmental ideologues contribute big money to liberal whores like Gore and if the pot is running low, he’ll rev up his troops by making an ill-timed speech full of his illogical rhetoric… again.

Un-Penned

Finding a friendly conduit, Sean Penn sent a narcissistic commentary on his return trip to Iraq.

“Ever since the bombing of the UN building in Baghdad in August, I had felt increasingly tugged toward Iraq.  As I had made my cautionary opinions known prior to our military engagement, in a self-financed letter to the president in the Washington Post (Oct. 18, 2002), and then reiterated those thoughts after our invasion of Iraq in a self-financed ad in the New York Times (May 30, 2003), I felt a responsibility to change or reaffirm my position in the context of the new situation for our U.S. soldiers, and Iraqi civilians as well.  The call from Medea fixed my decision to go.  Gaining the support of my family would be tricky.  My reputation within our home is one of impulsiveness, hubris and an overall bloated sense of my own survival instincts.  Of course, this is entirely unfounded, but we'll leave that for another day.”

If you remember his pre-war trip where he served as an Iraqi government-escorted-weapons-of-mass-destruction-investigator, he assured us that Saddam wasn’t such a bad guy.  Iraq was only hurting because of the sanctions the imperialist United States was imposing on the poor Iraqi people.

I must admit, I thought Penn had balls.  But he wrote this overlong diary piece before Saddam was captured and therefore the fear of his possible return to power was still in the air.  I’d like to see what would happen if the Saddam-loving Penn were to return to Iraq now where the liberated people could give an unfettered opinion of his support for their former dictator.

Final Thought

I take back almost every positive I said a few weeks ago about Michael Jackson.  His behavior before, during, and after his little Santa Barbara Superior Court media-fest showed a total lack of humility and respect for what the rest of us call the law.

I’m personally disgusted by the lengths the Jackson family will go to preserve their gravy train as well as the hoard of hangers-on who are there with Michael, not to support him, but to get as much as they can sponge off of him. 

Jackson’s “60 Minutes” interview shows he still doesn’t get it.  His hiring of slime ball attorney Mark Geragos shows he doesn’t want to.  Whatever the outcome of his trial, I can honestly say I bought my last Michael Jackson album years ago.

Bob Parks