It is fashionable today to believe that one must date a lot to get significant “experience” before marriage. You know, in the same way the doctor gets better with experience, or the athlete gets better through practice, a man or woman gets better at dating through experience.

But, when it comes to dating and sex, experience doesn’t mean wisdom. It means baggage.

The biggest way this materializes itself is a typical liberal belief that one needs excessive sexual experience to … erm, “get good at it.” Public schools now teach every and all sexual acts, from anal sex to S&M sex. Liberals perpetuate the lie that a person must experiment in sex to decide what they really like, otherwise they might end up in a tyrannical, unhappy marriage, where – god forbid – their lover can’t please them!

Nevermind that along with all this “wisdom” comes potential STDs, pregnancy, and emotional damage. We need that experience!

Actually, if you were to go ask any person about their favorite sexual experience, my guess is that very few people will describe a lover who really wowed them through some wild, mechanical act. My guess is they will describe being with a person whom they greatly admired, were intimate with, and it was not their moves they responded to but their intellectual and moral character.

Another argument regarding “experience” with dating is cohabitation. Men and women need to live with each other before marriage, because what if they’re incompatible!?

Let me go out on a limb and suggest something crazy: if your ability to be happy with your lifelong mate is dependent on being able to pick a compatible toothpaste with them, not find their morning rituals too annoying, or be able to cook and clean with them effectively, you are already doomed.

Such chores are grunt work. They’re petty and meaningless. Let me put it to you simply: you aren’t always going to get your own way. If you are really touchy about always being able to get your own way in the household, don’t get married. You’re not ready for it.

The only thing moving in with a boyfriend or girlfriend does is create baggage. It de-mystifies the concept of marriage, and dwindles the lofty husband-wife relationship into a petty apartment buddy relationship. Over 75% of people who lived with each other before marriage end up getting divorced within 3 years of marriage. Practically speaking, cohabitation is a failure.

Dating is not supposed to be something you get good at. Not if the fundamental goal is one lifelong husband and wife relationship. Dating is supposed to be a temporary process, not something one should master. If you find that person right away, awesome. If not, keep looking. But going in and out of relationships, sleeping with multiple people is not going to help you gain experience for that one person. It’s just going to cause baggage. Let’s state the real reason people date and have sex for marriage: it’s for entertainment not experience.

If you have ever noticed, many women who have been with mounds of men tend to turn their backs on men. The only thing going from guy to guy does is damage them. If they were really promiscuous, they often become lesbians. On the other hand, it is modest girls with few sexual experiences who still remain unabashed romantics and are completely starry-eyed over men.

The primary preparation you should do before marriage is not experimental but theoretical. It is the difference between getting a map out and plotting your drive versus just getting on the road, getting lost, then finding your way around. Going mindlessly into a situation, in order to supposedly gain “experience,” is called pragmaticism.

I propose that the best way to prepare for marriage is not to mindlessly enter many relationships, but to read experts, turn to elders, and develop some fundamental gems of wisdom regarding how to go about it. This will prove to be far more effective than leaving yourself physically and emotionally vulnerable from the “experience” you will get through repetitive sex and relationships.