Jay Leno's name is dog meat.

South Koreans are angry at Leno for making a joke about Kim Dong-Sung, a skater who was stripped of a gold medal during the Winter Olympics. Leno said Dong-Sung must have kicked a dog in frustration, then eaten it.

Within days, a former prime minister, who now heads the United Liberal Party, called Leno an "ignorant son of a bitch" and "an ill-mannered ugly guy." He said his minority party would send a letter of protest to NBC demanding Leno be fired. South Korea's ruling party also lashed out: they said Leno is racially prejudiced.

But I don't know what everyone is so upset about. The truth is that people in South Korea do eat dog. According to Salon, approximately 20,000 South Korean restaurants serve dog meat. Sure, the government made it illegal just before the 1988 Seoul Olympics, but some politicians are trying to re-legalize it. In spite of the ban, dog meat is still widely available.

And with good reason, according to some Koreans. Dog meat stew is believed to be an aphrodisiac. It is also believed to be an energy-restoring health food. And, oh yeah, it's supposedly very tasty.

Now I'm not about to defend anybody who eats dog. The thought of having man's best friend for supper is troubling to me, even if he is cooked slowly in a nice stew sauce with carrots, rice, split peas, a touch of delicious soy sauce and a little Parmesan cheese sprinkled on top.

To be sure, it is unconscionable for Americans to eat our dogs. No, we pamper our puppies. We spend billions lavishing them with toys, trinkets and treats of every kind. Here in Washington, in fact, I know of two bakeries that make treats just for pets. We love our dogs, you see, because they are fury and funny.

But we eat lots of other animals that we don't feel such affection for. I've eaten shark, squid, salmon, shrimp, trout, flounder, lobster, mussels, crab, oysters, octopus, chicken, pheasant, turkey, duck, rabbit, deer, buffalo and cow, and that was just last week. And while we think it is terrible South Koreans eat dog, folks in India think it's ten times more repulsive that we eat cow.

But, you say, dogs are smarter and more personable than cows. Well, that is no argument. The pig is smarter than any dog, yet we eat him readily, especially at an outdoor party where the fellow is hung on a spit over a mesquite flame and frequently dressed down with a nice butter sauce.

I'll tell you what is really going on here. Our global economy, and the technology that is expediting it, is making the world smaller. Thus, it is routine for Jay Leno's huge head to be beamed into television sets all over the globe, where he projects his uniquely American perspective into other cultures that don't get the joke.

That's not to say we're any better at understanding other cultures. In fact, we're probably worse than anybody. We Americans look at every other culture from our own point of view, not theirs. We're rich, powerful and surrounded by lots of water, which has allowed us to remain isolated. Dog-eating jokes are funny to us, because eating dog is something we could never do.

And that is probably why South Koreans responded so negatively. They know that America will judge them through American standards, which could be bad for business. The unwanted attention on dog eating could draw lots of protesting. Suddenly, South Korea's image might not be that of a great place to invest and do business, but that place where your stray dog likely won't make it back home.

And that's one thing that troubles me about our new global economy. Instead of celebrating their unique history and culture, many countries appear to be homogenizing theirs. They're trying to appear progressive and western, unaware that what America really admires is boldness and uniqueness.

If you eat dog, then eat and be proud. Instead of having your politicians lash out at comedians, why not offer a more positive response. Why not sell us on the benefits of the dog delicacy? You could share some of your recipes (Buffalo Paws? Roverloaf?). You never know, perceptions can change. As the world shrinks, we Americans need to work harder at understanding other cultures anyhow.

I'm going to take a step in that direction during lunch. I'm going to eat a hot dog.


Tom Purcell