"Fem bonding" is a powerfully unique method of control. It is instinctive; that is, it is ground into the nature of the female. It is simply there. If you have not bumped into it, run into it, had to deal with it, you are living on a man’s island of wonder and peace.

Female bonding takes place particularly when a gender subject comes up. The particulars are unimportant; it is the gender dimension that counts.

It may be a small matter in the eyes of the attending males. But if it is gender focused, then fem bonding will occur, even when complimentary to the female gender.

So let’s start with the positive. A male makes a comment that is complimentary to the females. The other females in the circle immediately perk up and give assent that the comment was most worthy of acceptance. It is lauded as accurate and needful. It is even quoted later by the females in support of their whatevers.

Now, let’s move to the negative. A male makes a comment that is realistically critical of the female gender. At least, he considers it realistic, fair, true-to-life and acceptable as "right" by both genders. In other words, he doesn't mean to be controversial. His intentions are simply to put it on the table as a legitimate subject for conversation.

In fact, the male may assume that the females present are broadminded enough to consider the topic with openness and the rules of fair play. In other words, he assumes they are ready to discuss calmly and without bias the subject presented. Whoops!

The fems in the group do not acknowledge the legitimacy of the topic. In fact, they reach that conclusion immediately, instinctively, and with ire. It shows on their faces. Their eyes grow larger than usual. Their mouths purse. Their ears perk. Their faces flush. Their legs cross, then uncross. Torsos lean forward. Arms go rigid and ready for combat.

None of the females look to each other for approval or signal. It just happens. It's grounded in the female nature; it's radar from within. It's as natural as breathing.

Watch out, innocent male: you have walked in where angels fear to tread.

Jesus said for His own to be as wise as snakes and harmless as doves. That is excellent counsel for males in conversation with such females.

In other words, if males truly want peace on the planet, they can contribute by keeping far away from anything that might set loose this kind of fem bonding. (Naturally complimentary remarks toward the female circle add to the planetary peace network; so that is always in fashion!)

Rather than make for contention, men of wisdom watch their tongue travels so as not to spark the ire of the female. That may sound cowardly to some; and perhaps it is if practiced when compromising one’s ethics or morality. But in many cases it keeps the peace.

Try it. You may find it quite compatible with the male ego. And also it just might be the answer to some of the problems men have with women when talking with them about this-and-that.

J. Grant Swank, Jr.