| MND COMMENTARY |
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Young Man, Let me share my thoughts on the kind of woman you need… October 18, 2003 by Drew Taggart Here’s a joke… DON’T stop me if you’ve heard it before… When I was young, I wanted a woman to love, marry and together, build a life. I met someone and she was creative, artistic and an accomplished classical musician; Truly a free spirit. So free spirited she found another man, actually several… So many young men talk about today’s women, their experiences, all of the miserable, failed dates and relationships they’ve had. If you’re a fan of dark comedy, the modern dating scene for men is a truly hilarious masterpiece. The screenplay could easily have been written by Samuel Beckett with some creative input from William Shakespeare. Steve, a 30 year old Director of IT for a mid-sized manufacturing company, recited the details of his latest relationship. The woman of his amorous pursuit was 22, one child and numerous covert boyfriends. ‘Covert’ in the sense she has lots of ‘friends.’ Mike who baby sits, Andy, the little boy’s dad who is amicable and friendly (Steve wonders HOW friendly), and Dean who is one of her co-worker who stops by to talk, etc. Our hero came to the conclusion ‘this is too much. It’s bad enough I have to see the dad on my doorstep once every two weeks, but all these other guys hangin’ around…’ This popular little mom, now angry at Steve for breaking it off (Note: women always hate the men they can’t have), started some vicious little rumors. ‘He’s so selfish’ she complained to one mutual acquaintance. “He has a problem with me being a mom. He says he just isn’t comfortable with the whole thing” and why should he be? Because this wonderful icon of modern motherhood (one kid, no dad, child support and bugging everyone available to baby sit) has shown next to no responsibility up to this point? And what happens if Steve, with his income level, would have married the girl, fathered a child, then ‘mom’ decides she is unfulfilled, uninterested or under-serviced sexually? Steve would find himself stung to the amount of about $710 per month of child support, plus day care, health insurance, dental insurance, etc. for the next 18 years, at least. Steve and many of the guys his age have learned an important lesson from older men: When a man marries and has children, he becomes his wife’s property and that maybe modern marriage isn’t such a smart move for the young, single guy… Perhaps I needed someone like me? Goal oriented, hard working and ambitious. I found her… Actually, she was so ambitious that after we married, she found a guy who made $200,000 a year and promptly traded up… Eric, a 39 year old divorced father of three recently ended a short lived relationship. “She was smart, hard working, vice president of her company and parent of three kids, all older than mine. She only met my kids twice, but they really hit it off… I had real high hopes for where we could go. We seemed to just click” he said. “Then one night I gave her a call at home; usually I didn’t do that because she was waiting for the right time to introduce me to her kids, but she had mentioned they were with their father that evening. I was shocked when a man answered the phone and then verified I dialed the right number. All I could think to say was ‘sorry, wrong number’ and hang up. Well I was horrified and stunned when my girlfriend admitted she wasn’t divorced but was ‘planning to file the papers shortly…’ the man I had spoken with was actually her husband.” Eric didn’t say much more except that the relationship ended on the spot without any hesitation. “If she’ll lie about that, what else is being kept from me? I wonder how awful her husband felt?” After lots of soul searching maybe I needed a woman who just wanted a family; a nice church going girl. But, when I wouldn’t give her church 10% of my gross income she divorced me with her minister’s approval, took my kids, destroyed my credit and married a guy from her church…
Allen wasn’t as lucky and found out much later that some women, at best, can be ‘morally erratic.’ Owner of a small auto body shop in the Midwest, the hours are long, but Allen like many others enjoys being his own boss. Allen adds, “As a Christian, I never believed in sex before the wedding and that marriage is forever. My wife said she believed the same.” One day Allen returned home to find a fellow waiting at his door with some papers, the house empty, his wife gone and his infant daughter now effectively removed from his life. He had been married for two years and never saw the divorce coming. “She’d been planning this for a while, but I never knew” he painfully admitted. In the vain hope of ‘keeping the peace,’ Allen surrendered his rights as a parent by granting his ex sole-custody of their daughter. “I thought maybe she would come around and not go through with this divorce. My pastor and The Promise Keepers always said ‘if you love your wife the way Christ loved the church, she will be the loyal wife a Christian man deserves.” Allen later came to understand that the entire philosophy was a complete ‘Unbiblical fraud’ as he states. “For God so loved the world, He gave his only Son’ and that didn’t save everyone. What are these guys thinking? They tell us everything is the husband’s fault, even when their wife shacks up with some other dude. What a bunch of crap.” Now, completely free of any potential legal interference by Allen, his ex-wife took their daughter and moved to Utah. Older and hopefully wiser, I’ve finally figured out what kind of girl to be with… Bill, 31, has never married and is always quite busy with his latest companion. Owner of a late model Porsche Boxster, a thin waist, blonde hair, blue eyes and a $60K income, Bill is quite outspoken he never plans to marry. ‘Why the hell would I do that? My dad built up a business over his entire life and is leaving it to me. If I get married, then she decides the ‘relationship is unfulfilling,’ she gets half of everything my dad’s built over the last 50 years. You know one day and listens to Dr. Phil telling her she deserves more. Want more? Get a job. No thanks, I’m not getting married ever. I’ve seen plenty of guys get raked over the coals and I’m not gonna be one of them’ Lee, a 45 year old banker echoes Bill’s views. He explained in some detail why he is currently living with a woman and has done so for over 20 years. “I was married Once. Every man should get married Once. Now, I keep a separate ‘legal’ residence… my driver’s license, bank statements, credits cards, everything is listed with my mom’s address. This way, my girlfriend can never claim common law status and hit me for property, alimony or whatever if she eventually decides she’s ‘bored.’” Today, I just want a woman with big breasts… For many men, women are now looked upon as a ‘necessary evil.’ Long term cohabitation, short term relationships and pornography has replaced what was once the married, monogamous relationship. ‘Happily Married’ in many cases is replaced with ‘Conveniently Shacked Up’, ‘Courtships’ have become ‘9 ½ Weeks’ and internet porn has all but killed intimacy. Said a different way, today’s ‘Ward Clever’ would probably find himself divorced, living in a modest apartment or condo, surfing for the above mentioned internet porn (MUCH cheaper than the real thing) and dating scores of women, most of which thinking they would ‘trade up’ from their last husband. These ‘single again’ ladies have been brain washed by radical feminism and various patronizing talk shows to believe they are “owed more from life.” At least, owed more than most normal, employed men can give them. It doesn’t matter their last man was working 60 hours a week to provide a home, cars, jewelry, vacations etc. He forgot to take trash out once to often. In this environment of ‘Me Female’ (READ: Narcissism), single men who have decided to play the field have learned an important lesson. The modern Ward has learned to ‘stroke the ego’ of today’s liberated woman… especially if you want her affections. The modern ‘June Clever’ is an independent (thanks mainly to Ward’s Alimony and Child Support Checks) and ‘self-actualized’ (compliments of Oprah, Rosie or some other daytime hag with a podium) single again woman who would now be plowing her way through one or two more husbands and numerous lovers, leaving ‘Beaver and Wally’ angry and frustrated over the lack of a stable father in their life. Many women, mostly married, deserve our respect and admiration. Admired because some of the men these women choose to stay with are workaholics, alcoholics, debt-a-holics, online porn addicts or generally lousy people. As a side note, why any man who has a wife who is nice looking, not a nag and gives him the ‘rule of his castle’ (or lets him think he’s the king…) would even contemplate intercourse with another woman or waste time perusing porn is stupefying. Does the name Kobe Bryant ring a bell? These women of character, the ones who do whatever it takes to keep their families intact, are the women that make us believe in romance, love, commitment, marriage and family. They are the women we would love to know. Sadly, these women in today’s society are few and far between and older women, those 50 and up generally, know the rarity of ‘good women.’ “I know what girls these days want” one grandmother said scornfully. None of these men ever wanted to live their life ‘playing the field’ but conversely, every man has needs. Until the culture, laws and family court systems reverse the ongoing homicide of the nuclear family these men, never married and divorced, are smart enough to opt out of the modern marriage game. |
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