May 23, 2008

Fresh on the heels of their bi-partisan decision to overturn the Law of Supply and Demand by seeking legal redress from OPEC over high oil prices, the Democrat-controlled House of Representatives has set the bar a bit higher. In what many are calling a strikingly bold move, the congressional body has once again united across [...]

February 26, 2008

SATIRE
9. He defecates hope, urinates dreams, perspires justice, expectorates butterfly kisses, and cries tears of racial equality.
8. While his home planet was in the throes of destruction as the result of a thermonuclear chain reaction deep within its unstable uranium core, Obama (nee Bar-El) managed to escape and make it to Earth where he is [...]

January 2, 2008

Ed: TNOYF has obtained an advance copy of a memo that will be circulated January 2 at the offices of The New York Times announcing the hiring of conservative Bill Kristol as an opinion columnist.
���������������
To: All Employees
From: Art Sulzberger, Publisher
Date: January 2, 2008
Re: New Staff Member�Bill Kristol
Welcome back. I hope everyone had a wonderfully secular [...]

December 14, 2007

Good day. In the wake of former Atlanta Mayor Andrew Young�s assertion that Bill Clinton is just as black as Barack Obama, we are here to discuss the impact that race has historically had on Democratic politics, as well as the role it will play in the upcoming Democratic primaries. With me to discuss this [...]

November 27, 2007

Editorial by Buckley F. Williams
I read with great dismay, although no surprise, a story this morning about another innocent farmer whose arm was viciously mauled by a bloodthirsty farm combine: a phenomenon known in combine circles as a �homicide mangling.� By my count, that makes seventeen such attacks in calendar year 2007 (and that�s not [...]

October 11, 2007

A new book about famed Peanuts cartoonist Charles Schulz hits bookshelves soon and paints quite a dark picture�of the cartoonist. Among other things, the author�labels Schulz as�”melancholy” and alleges that the creator of Snoopy was a philanderer of the first order.
In yet another journalistic coup, TNOYF reporters have discovered a veritable treasure trove of discarded [...]

September 12, 2007

We�recently learned�that TNOYF�s application for trademark protection for Islamic Rage Boy had been rejected, �because the proposed mark consists of or includes matters which may disparage or bring into contempt or disrepute persons, institutions, beliefs, or national symbols,� according to the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office.
While we�ve copyrighted IRB, we thought we�d take a shot [...]

September 7, 2007

God Our Father issued a strongly worded proclamation earlier today that marks a�clear departure from�Heaven�s former��exceptional children� policy. In his statement, He refuted the previously held belief that all kids are special.
�I�m not quite sure when all of this �every child is special� crap got started,� said a visibly weary Lord Almighty. �Although if I [...]

September 6, 2007

As Hurricane Felix�drove toward�the Yucatan Peninsula yesterday,�there was a massive outpouring of concern in the media for the �stranded� native people of that region, the Miskito Indians.
In a highly emotional segment, CNN�s Anderson Cooper interviewed one of the desperate, vulnerable tribe members.

�Good morning. ladies and gentlemen. It is with a heavy heart that I bring [...]

August 29, 2007

Editor�s Note: Sources have revealed that the Berkeley Breathed �Opus� cartoon (rejected by many U.S. newspapers) was exposed to Muslim staffers at The Washington Post at the behest of Comics Editor Amy Lago to help inform the decision as to whether or not to run the cartoon. The �emotional� reaction of the staffers apparently helped [...]

August 27, 2007

Dear Islamic Rage Boy,
I am a registered Democrat living in the Washington, DC area. I recently learned from a friend of a friend that that neocon comic hack Berkeley Breathed wrote a comic strip that is both offensive and cruel to Muslims. On behalf of my former religion (I am a recovering Catholic) and [...]

August 15, 2007

Announcer: �Fox News now returns to �Lost In Middle Earth: The Heart-Rending Utah Mining Calamity,� with Greta Van Susteren in Utah.�
Greta Van Susteren: �Well, folks, the mood here in Huntington Utah is somber as the valiant efforts to drill down to find these miners continues. The feeling of sheer helplessness overtook me several hours ago, [...]

July 18, 2007

Dear Islamic Rage Boy,
My first daughter has come of age for genital mutilation and as you can imagine, I am quite nervous. She is the apple of my eye and I want to make sure that everything goes smoothly. Any suggestions?
Perennially Pacing in Pashtun Province
Dear Perennially Pacing,
Ah yes, I too remember well the labial [...]

June 14, 2007

9. �I�m sorry Ms. Hilton but this strain is penicillin-resistant.�
8. �Great news Paris! The judge has decided to lower your sentence if you can just pass this simple spelling test.�
7. �I accidentally broke your autographed Pablo Escobar straw.�
6. �I�ve got some good news and some bad news. The good news is that the Reverend [...]

June 1, 2007

After a very brief stint of sobriety, actress Lindsay Lohan has thrust herself back into the running for the coveted William Gareth Jacob Busey Sr. Award, also known as the “Busey.” The Busey is given each year to the Hollywood personality who “best exemplifies the spirit and hepatic disregard” of the legendary DC Cab star.
“Lindsay fell on the wagon [...]

May 22, 2007

In spite of the fact that the new immigration bill has been moved off of the fast-track as it meanders its way through Congress, other special interest groups have seized the moment to press their respective cases.
Foremost among these is the Jersey City-based organization Homebound Italian-American Males for Justice which, according to their charter, ”advocates for the rights of our members to live at [...]

May 8, 2007

Long resigned to their role as the “Garfunkel” of the international punchline community, Belgium has seen their stock rise sharply on the news of the recent French presidential election. Nicolas Sarkozy’s vocal pro-American stance, along with his large margin of victory, may shift the balance of French-bashing away from the traditional favorites; the French.
“I have [...]

May 2, 2007

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi expressed both profound sorrow and anger this morning upon receiving news of the death of Iraqi Al Qaeda leader Abu Ayyub al-Masri.
Pelosi, who became fast friends with al-Masri during her recent Middle Eastern visit, issued the following statement:
“While George Bush and his Muslim hating cronies high-five each other over Abu’s murder, I would like [...]

April 3, 2007

At the low end of the dial where the big networks roam
you will find a large creature with a mouth chock full o’ foam.
She goes by the handle “The Larynx” my friends
but take care, she’s been known to let bilge fly out of both ends.
When it comes to insightful, well-reasoned discourse
I’m afraid she is far [...]

March 5, 2007

What started out as a routine gynecological visit took a tragic turn yesterday when one doctor lost his footing while examining hotel heiress Paris Hilton. Dr. Jack Talerico, known as the “gynecologist to the stars”, slipped while attempting to examine a small lesion in her groin area.
“He was right next to me and when [...]