Many men have a long established pattern of dating and/or marrying crazy, emotionally abusive women with Borderline Personality Disorder and/or Narcissistic Personality Disorder traits. If you’re one of them and have managed to end your most recent abusive relationship, here are some warning signs and ways you can avoid becoming involved with another one...
The following is an email I received from one of my readers: Dear Dr Tara, First off, I want to thank you and inform you that your website has really opened my eyes and helped me in my healing process. These may be questions to use in a blog post: Starting in 2008, I...
Does your wife or girlfriend tell you what to do most or all of the time? Does she become enraged or sullen and withdrawn if she doesn’t get her way? Does she needle you endlessly until you capitulate? Controlling behaviors and attitudes are just another aspect of abusive women personality traits. It’s natural to...
Why does she act this way? Why does she treat me like this? Why did she say that? Why can’t she be nice? Why? Why? Why? The short answer is: Because she’s crazy. You’ll make yourself crazy if you try to find meaning in her meaningless and casually cruel behaviors. Most of us try...
In Abusive Women, Cults, Braiwashing and Deprogramming, Part I, I discussed the shared characteristics of cult victims and abused men and the similarities between abusive women’s courtship behaviors and cult recruitment. This post explains common techniques cults and emotional predators use to break you down and control you. Techniques Used by Cults and Abusive...
How Abusive Women Brainwash You, examined similar brainwashing techniques used by cults, POW camps, political movements and abusive personalities such as narcissistic, borderline, histrionic and sociopathic women. It also explored where and how they diverge. Specifically, cults break down your personality and belief system, then rebuild you and give you a new belief system....
How do so many smart men fall for toxic, abusive women? Why do they remain in painfully self-destructive relationships when their higher intelligence knows better? Many men frequently cite, “but I love her.” Do they love these women or have they been brainwashed by abusive personalities? Are they confusing love with dependence on their...
Are you and your ex going through a difficult divorce or break up? Do you worry that she or he is turning your child(ren) against you? Are you shocked and confused by how your once warm and affectionate relationship with your kid(s) has become distant and hostile? Parental alienation is no joke. It’s a...
Do you feel like you’re going around and around in circles with your wife or girlfriend? Are there so many emotional highs and lows that you feel as if you’re on a roller coaster? Have you tried and tried to make your relationship better, but to no avail? If so, you may be involved...
We all tell ourselves lies from time to time in order to avoid making a difficult change that we know is in our best interests. Deciding to leave a bad relationship with an abusive woman should be a no-brainer, but it’s often a painfully difficult and heart wrenching decision for many men. The following...
The dating world is full of predators who will take you for quite a ride if you’re not wise to them. Many men feel like they were sold a bill of goods or “suckered” by their respective spouses, partners or exes and, to a certain extent, they’re right. However, like most victims of a...
I came across a website called YourTango and saw an article titled 6 Red Flag Phrases That Should Send You Running: If a man tells you he’s not boyfriend material, believe him. Plus 5 other verbal red flags. It piqued my morbid curiosity, so I read the post. It’s the standard fare on how...
Many of my readers have expressed how difficult it is for them to let go of their relationships with abusive wives and girlfriends—especially those women with borderline and narcissistic traits. Several men who were involved with these women refer to them as “monsters.” One man in particular (Run4TheHills) writes that he prays to get...
Are you a crazy chick magnet? Have you had one turbulent relationship after another with women? Do you attract volatile, demanding, needy, emotionally unbalanced women? Have you ever wondered, “Why?” Adult relationships are choices and you choose to become involved with these women. Even if your relationship makes you miserable, you’re getting something out...
Does your girlfriend or wife blame you for everything that’s wrong in the relationship, even her bad behaviors? Does she refuse to take responsibility for her own actions, especially the hurtful ones? Do you frequently feel forced into a role of contrition in which you have to make up for some imagined or exaggerated...
I’ve been writing my own blog, A Shrink for Men, for almost a year now. In that time, I’ve noticed many double standards and gender inequities that seem to be culturally acceptable in relationships. Here are some of my observations for women to consider in terms of their own behavior and for men to...
You’ve used logic, reason, ultimatums, bargaining and begging to no avail. Your wife still won’t go back to work even though the kids are in school full-time. You may ask yourself why she spent time and money on an education only to disempower herself by becoming financially dependent upon you. It’s a valid question....
When you met your wife was she passionate about her work? Did she tell she wanted a family and a career? Was it exciting and interesting to talk with her about your individual and mutual goals? Then, you had a child. She was just going to take a little time off until he or...
I receive a lot of emails and comments from men who are involved with abusive women who want to know if couples counseling will help. Many of these men have shared stories in which they recount how therapy was a waste of time, money and energy because it only emboldened and validated their wives’/girlfriends’...
Do you experience insomnia, nightmares, fatigue, nausea, aches and pains, and an underlying sense of dread? Do you feel like you’re always waiting for the other shoe to drop? Is it difficult for you to trust others because you’re worried they’ll hurt you? Do you frequently feel ashamed, guilty, and worthless? Are you involved...
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