The National Organization for Women has issued a statement criticizing Republican presidential candidate John McCain’s selection of Alaska Governor Sarah Palin as his running mate.

NOW slams Palin, particularly for her pro-life position, and counterposes Democratic vice presidential candidate Joe Biden as “the VP candidate who appeals to women, with his authorship and championing of landmark domestic violence legislation, support for pay equity, and advocacy for women around the world.”

While I often disagree with NOW’s politics, and I disagree with some of the politics in their statement on Palin, I do think they deserve credit for consistency. NOW has a liberal feminist agenda and has stuck with the male VP candidate who supports it against the female VP candidate who doesn’t.

NOW PAC chair Mai Shiozaki, who issued the statement, said, “I am frequently asked whether NOW supports women candidates just because they are women. This gives me an opportunity to once again answer that question with an emphatic ‘No.’”

Shiozaki is correct–it would’ve been inappropriate for them to support Palin simply because she’s a woman.

NOW’s statement is below.

Not Every Woman Supports Women’s Rights
The National Organization for Women
August 29, 2008

Statement of NOW PAC Chair Kim Gandy on the Selection of Sarah Palin as John McCain’s Vice Presidential Pick

Sen. John McCain’s choice of Alaska governor Sarah Palin as his running mate is a cynical effort to appeal to disappointed Hillary Clinton voters and get them to vote, ultimately, against their own self-interest.

Gov. Palin may be the second woman vice-presidential candidate on a major party ticket, but she is not the right woman. Sadly, she is a woman who opposes women’s rights, just like John McCain.

The fact that Palin is a mother of five who has a 4-month-old baby, a woman who is juggling work and family responsibilities, will speak to many women. But will Palin speak FOR women? Based on her record and her stated positions, the answer is clearly No.

In a gubernatorial debate, Palin stated emphatically that her opposition to abortion was so great, so total, that even if her teenage daughter was impregnated by a rapist, she would “choose life” — meaning apparently that she would not permit her daughter to have an abortion.

Palin also had to withdraw her appointment of a top public safety commissioner who had been reprimanded for sexual harassment, although Palin had been warned about his background through letters by the sexual harassment complainant.

What McCain does not understand is that women supported Hillary Clinton not just because she was a woman, but because she was a champion on their issues. They will surely not find Sarah Palin to be an advocate for women.

Sen. Joe Biden is the VP candidate who appeals to women, with his authorship and championing of landmark domestic violence legislation, support for pay equity, and advocacy for women around the world.

Finally, as the chair of NOW’s Political Action Committee, I am frequently asked whether NOW supports women candidates just because they are women. This gives me an opportunity to once again answer that question with an emphatic ‘No.’ We recognize the importance of having women’s rights supporters at every level but, like Sarah Palin, not every woman supports women’s rights.

Families Against Confiscatory Child Support (FACCS) FACCS is the national voice for fair and reasonable child support. FACCS believes all parents have an obligation to support their children financially. However, in high income cases, state and federal laws often result in excessive awards that are effectively alimony in disguise and have little to do with supporting children. Huge child support awards lead to protracted custody disputes, undermines co-parenting, and leaves children worse off financially.www.faccsonline.org / contact@faccsonline.org

By Jeffery M. Leving and Glenn Sacks  

The image of fathers and fatherhood has taken a beating over the past several decades, and the media has been part of the problem. While there has been some improvement in the past few years, fathers are still frequently unfairly stereotyped.

For example, in April the Council on Contemporary Families issued a report on men and housework. CNN’s headline to the story was typical of most media– “Report: Men still not pulling weight on chores.”

In reality, studies which account for the total amount of work that husbands and wives contribute to their households–including housework, child care, and employment–confirm that men contribute at least as much to their families as women do. What the CCF study actually said was that the amount of child care fathers provide has tripled over the past four decades, and the amount of housework men do has doubled. Moreover, men have accomplished this in an era where the average workweek has significantly expanded. The papers reporting the story barely noticed.

Ex-NBA Player Jason Caffey was widely vilified in April for being behind in his child support. Caffey had paid over 90% of what he was ordered to pay, but fell behind when his post-career income dropped, and was threatened with jail. Neither CNN commentator Nancy Grace nor Caffey’s other critics stopped to ponder the absurdity of calling a father who had already paid millions of dollars in child support a “deadbeat dad.”

Similarly, in April Chandra Myers made national headlines when she took the unusual step of suing New York bakery worker Robert Sean Myers’ employers Sara Lee Bakeries and Bimbo Bakeries for allegedly failing to garnish his wages. Yet while Robert was labeled a “deadbeat dad,” the media didn’t even notice that a court had obligated Myers to pay $2,000 a month in child support for one child–on an income of only $1,600 a month.

USA Today financial columnist Sandra Block recently explained that widows receive significantly more social security benefits if their husbands delay retirement. She could have written, “Men, we know your wives and children appreciate the sacrifices you’ve made as family breadwinner, and delaying retirement will help ensure your loved ones are provided for.” Instead, Block wrote:

“If you want to make up for all the times you came home with beer on your breath, left your socks on the bathroom floor or gave your wife a DustBuster for Valentine’s Day, hold off on filing for your Social Security benefits.”

She then adds, with some understatement, “Many men who are eager to retire may chafe at this suggestion.” You think?

In 2002, Clara Harris repeatedly ran over her husband David as his daughter begged Clara not to kill her father. She recently filed a suit against her former attorney, triggering a round of media reports on her case. Media outlets consistently referred to David simply as “Cheating Husband” or “Cheating Spouse.” At one point, 233 of the 354 news stories indexed on Google News, referred to David Harris as Clara Harris’ “cheating husband.” If an unfaithful woman was murdered by her husband, it’s doubtful that newspapers would disparage this victim of domestic violence by referring to her simply as “cheating wife.”

The reporting of the Britney Spears-Kevin Federline child custody battle also had some low points. Many headlines were similar to Yahoo News’ “Court awards Spears’ kids to K-Fed.” Funny, we thought “Spears’ kids” had two parents, not just one.

Research shows that dads matter. The rates of the four major youth pathologies–teen pregnancy, teen drug abuse, school dropouts and juvenile crime–are tightly correlated with fatherlessness, often more so than with any other socioeconomic factor.

The public portrayal of fathers is fairer now than it was a few years ago, and much fairer than it was during the 1980s and 1990s. Still, too much of the media reflexively buys into unfair, destructive stereotypes of dads as slackers, deadbeats, deserters, and louts.

This column first appeared in the Orange County Register (6/13/08).

Family law attorney Jeffery M. Leving is the Chairman of the Illinois Council on Responsible Fatherhood. His website is www.dadsrights.com.

Glenn Sacks’ columns on men’s and fathers’ issues have appeared in dozens of the largest newspapers in the United States. He invites readers to visit his website at www.GlennSacks.com.

In 2004, Russert published Big Russ and Me about his father, and says he received an “avalanche” of letters from men and women who wanted to tell him about their own dads. His 2006 book Wisdom of Our Fathers: Lessons and Letters from Daughters and Sons is largely a sampling of those 60,000 letters, and the book was a surprise runaway hit.

When Wisdom came out in 2006, we co-authored a column about it–America’s Father Hunger (World Net Daily, 10/13/06). It is reprinted below.

America’s Father Hunger
By Mike McCormick and Glenn Sacks
(World Net Daily, 10/13/06).
 
Are fathers irrelevant? Are they really the useless buffoons we see on TV? The irresponsible deadbeats the local DA says they are? The controlling abusers we see in domestic violence PSAs?

That’s not the way Tim Russert’s readers see them.

Russert’s new book Wisdom of Our Fathers: Lessons and Letters from Daughters and Sons is a surprise runaway hit, reaching #1 on both the New York Times bestseller list and on Book Standard’s Overall Bestsellers Chart. In 2004, Russert published Big Russ and Me about his father, and says he received an “avalanche” of letters from men and women who wanted to tell him about their own dads. Wisdom is largely a sampling of those 60,000 letters.

In heartwarming and heart-wrenching stories, Russert’s readers remember their fathers as strong, devoted and honorable. In the chapter “Daddy’s Girl,” one woman tells Russert that she was her “father’s princess,” and explains “growing up in a rural area of the Deep South could have been a harsh experience for a little black girl, but I was insulated by his love and tenderness.”

Another “Daddy’s Girl” writes:

“When I was a little girl and my father put me to bed…I had a litany of things I went through every night. ‘Can I call you if I need anything?…Can I call you if I get scared?’…He would listen and say yes after each one, and I would fall asleep, secure that I was completely loved and cared for.”

Another remembers:

“When I was four, my father took me on my first official date…I got all dressed up in my prettiest pink dress and shiny black-leather shoes…I was so excited and proud to be his date, and he made me feel so special to be ‘his little girl.’ To this day I am still proud to be his little girl, even if I’m not so little anymore. My dad was the strongest and handsomest man I have ever known, and he will have that title in my heart forever.”

Another remembers:

“I was an only child. Mom said I was plenty; Dad said I was perfect. He worked hard to support us: twelve-hour shifts with thirteen days on and only one day off, because overtime paid the bills. He left early in the morning, long before Mom and I were awake; He came home exhausted and slept until it was time to do it all over again. It was hard on him because he had so little time with us. It was hard on us too.

”We all found little ways to compensate…I would put my favorite toy in his lunchbox so he would have something to play with at work.

“Dad’s special time for me was morning coffee. He would get up at 4 A.M., start the coffee brewing, and get ready for work. When the pot was ready, he would come into my room and wake me up. I would sit at the kitchen table as he poured two cups of coffee. His was always black. Mine was barely brown, full of milk and sugar, sweet to the taste. Dad would tell me about his day and ask about mine. When the cups were empty, he would tuck me back into bed and kiss me good night before heading out to work. It was our special time together, and we never missed.”

Perhaps the book’s most striking feature is the overwhelming outpouring of love from women towards their fathers.

The Russert dads also knew when to take a stand. One letter writer remembers:

“By 1963, white flight was beginning to transform our neighborhood, and before long the first African American child took a seat in my Catholic school classroom. Birthday parties were about the biggest social events a third-grader had to look forward to, and I was delighted to receive an invitation to her party. Then I learned that none of my friends were going. I remember being confused by that, because we all went to one another’s parties. But if my friends weren’t going to this one, I wasn’t going to go either, especially when they seemed convinced that there was something wrong with the very idea.  

“…Dad put his foot down and told me that, like it or not, I was going to that party. He took me to the five-and-dime and we bought a card and a gift. The day of the party, he took me by the hand and we walked the three or four blocks to the girl’s apartment. My whining and complaining were useless, and it wasn’t until many years later that I understood why he made me go. He knew why none of my friends was there, and he wanted no part of it. No child of his was going to contribute to the hurt that would surely be felt by a little girl sitting at an empty birthday table.”

Another says:

“My dad’s second job was serving in the New Jersey National Guard…In the summer of 1967, his Guard unit was sent to Newark, where a riot had erupted and the police were having trouble containing it…When he died a few years ago, we had both his memorial service and his wake in a local restaurant…one of dad’s old guard buddies, Sergeant ‘Jeep’ MacAdams, grabbed the sleeve of my suit…Jeep rasped into my ear…’You know we were in Newark during the riots of ‘sixty-seven. It was a combat situation, let me tell you. I want you to know what an excellent and brave soldier your old man was. He was a true leader.’

“’We were called to a building that the state police had their machine guns trained on. They said they needed backup because there were rioters in the building. They told us to help them take this position with tear gas, machine guns, grenades, whatever.’

“’Your dad challenged the state cops from the get-go. He asked them what made them think there were no innocent civilians inside the position. The state police were zealous, you see. They had already fired shots, and they wanted us to fire warning shots, but your dad asked them to please hold their fire. Then he volunteered to assess the situation. He stayed low and got to the big door of the building, which was locked, and he calmly announced, ‘I’m with the New Jersey National Guard and I’m here to lead you to safety. Everything will be ok. Follow me.’

“’Suddenly, about twenty-five black high school kids came out of the building behind him, shaking and crying. Your dad was comforting them with one hand and giving the ‘hold your fire’ sign with the other. He asked if they needed water or food…If he hadn’t gotten involved, I’m sure there would have been bloodshed, if not death.’

“This is what I learned for the first time at my dad’s memorial service. Could I be more proud of him had he won the Congressional Medal of Honor? I don’t think so.”

Wisdom’s significance goes far beyond that of a sentimental journey. It’s success is a testament to the hunger so many Americans feel for what recent generations have lost–their fathers. The book’s letters are overwhelmingly from baby boomers–perhaps the last generation of Americans who could ever be reasonably confident that they’d have a father in their lives.

The fathers in Wisdom are largely men of modest means who sacrificed greatly to provide for their families. Wisdom begs the question why, in one generation, have so many fathers apparently thrown off all their responsibilities and abandoned their children?

The answer is simple–most of them haven’t.

According to a study of 46,000 divorce cases published in the American Law and Economics Review, two-thirds of all divorces involving couples with children are initiated by mothers, not fathers, and in only 6% of cases did the women claim to be divorcing cruel or abusive husbands. Divorcing women instead cite emotional reasons, such as a perceived lack of closeness or of not feeling loved and appreciated. Most of these men didn’t fail as fathers–they only failed at the often difficult task of keeping their marriages together.

Once a marriage falls apart, fathers often struggle to maintain a regular presence in their children’s lives. While shared parenting protects children’s loving bonds with both parents, many family courts instead allow men only a few days a month with their children. Moreover, many divorced mothers resist co-parenting because they are unable to put aside or see beyond their anger and disappointment. According to research conducted by Joan Berlin Kelly, author of Surviving the Break-up, 50 percent of mothers claim to “see no value in the father’s continued contact with his children after a divorce.” Does this stunning finding only reflect poorly on fathers and not also on mothers?

Russert writes, “Growing up, I didn’t know about families who were missing a father, because there weren’t any in our neighborhood.” Today over a third of American children are born into single-parent homes. Is this all men’s doing?

The typical Wisdom family is supported by a hard-working dad whose sacrifices are understood and appreciated by his children. Though his work obligations sometimes cut him off from his kids’ everyday lives, his place in the family is honored and respected, and he still manages to make a huge impact on his children.

Today that Wisdom dad has often been exchanged for a dad who’s not in the home, and who works to support kids from whose lives he is largely barred. For our children, it’s been a lousy trade.

This is an extended version of a column which first appeared in World Net Daily (10/13/06).

Mike McCormick is the Executive Director of the American Coalition for Fathers and Children. Their website is www.acfc.org.

Glenn Sacks’ columns on men’s and fathers’ issues appeared regularly in U.S. newspapers. www.GlennSacks.com

Stephanie Hernandez gave birth to a baby girl in Nashville’s Baptist Hospital on August 31, 2007. She was not married at the time. No father’s name was listed on the birth certificate, meaning that the father had no legal paternity rights or obligations. 

Deadbeat Dad?  Nope. Her fiancé, whom she later married, was at her side the entire time. Hernandez, a US citizen, and her undocumented immigrant fiancé, were prevented from placing his name on the birth certificate by Tennessee law. The law requires an unmarried dad to produce government-issued ID to appear on the birth certificate, but this is denied to undocumented immigrants.

Read the rest of Ned’s post here. A couple points:

1) Funny how they block the father from being on the birth certificate because of his immigration status, but, according to Holstein, “Tennessee appears to have no qualms about immigration status when it comes to child support collections.” Same old double standard for fathers–we don’t care about your bond/custody/parenting time with your kid, but child support is very, very important.

2) As many could guess, my opinion is that a father is a father, regardless of his immigration status, and his relationship with his child must be respected and protected.

Again, read I recommend Ned’s full post here.

Jennifer Butler-Murray has gotten a reputation in her suburban Charleston, SC, neighborhood as an avid drinker who gets “physical” with her children and gets into bizarre police incidents.

On March 17 of this year, Butler-Murray allegedly got drunk and two of her kids ran over to a neighbor’s house for help, according to a report filed with the Sullivan’s Island Police Department.

The trouble started after a witness saw her shouting loudly at one of her kids, the report said. Cops went to her home to investigate.

“I spoke with [her] and advised her of the complaint,” the responding officer wrote. “The w/f [white female] seemed to be very impaired and didn’t want me on her property anymore, she slammed the door and I left the residence.”

Later, a neighbor called cops saying Butler-Murray’s kids had come to his home seeking help.

“I then had the complainant meet me at the police station to talk with the juveniles . . . They informed me that their mother had been drinking heavily and had [become] physical with them,” the report said.

It’s certainly not uncommon for a vindictive wife to publicly vilify her soon-to-be-ex-husband, only for it to turn out that she’s the one with the problems, not him. We’ll see.

Also, note the double standard in treatment by the police. She’s drunk and abusive and slams the door in the cop’s face, and the cop says he left because–get this–she “didn’t want me on her property anymore.” No kidding. One thing’s for sure–men who are reading this, don’t try that stunt on a cop yourselves.

Thanks to Wayne Swanson, a reader, for the story.
 

Fatherhood activists Jolly Stainesby and Mark Harris launched a highly-publicized protest on the roof of Labor deputy leader Harriet Harman’s house. Harman is Secretary of State for Equalities and Minister for Women and has helped block family law reform. According to the BBC:

A fathers’ rights campaigner is maintaining his rooftop protest at the London home of Labour deputy leader Harriet Harman.

Jolly Stainesby, of south Devon, spent the night under a tarpaulin, observed by the occupants of three police cars.

Mr Stainesby began the protest at the minister’s house in Herne Hill, south London, on Sunday with Mark Harris – who later came down and was arrested.

Ms Harman has decided to leave her home until the protest ended.

Mr Stainesby said the rooftop protest could go on for some time.

Speaking earlier, he said: “I’m not coming down until they free my mate Mark. He is still being held.”

Mr Harris was held on suspicion of criminal damage, causing a public nuisance and other offences.

The campaigners, who are dressed as mythical superheroes “Captain Conception” and “Cash Gordon”, had said they intended to remain at the property until the former minister of justice read Mr Harris’s book, Family Court Hell.

They also unfurled a banner reading: “A father is for life, not just conception”.

Ms Harman, who is also Secretary of State for Equalities and Minister for Women, said the men had not requested a meeting.

Fathers 4 Justice founder Matt O’Connor said the government had “refused all dialogue with F4J for the past two years” and the group would now resume “a full-scale campaign of direct action against the government, its ministers and the judiciary”.

A Ministry of Justice spokesman said the government had carried out a public consultation on improving the openness of family courts.

He added: “This is an important and complex area of policy about which people have strong views. We must ensure we get it right.”

I applaud this action, though not without a few misgivings, which I detail below. I’m glad to see F4J UK back in action.

To briefly recap, the group is the brainchild of Matt O’Connor, and it began a series of daring, highly publicized protests atop cranes, bridges, and government buildings in 2003. The group’s first well-known protest was David Chick’s spectacular six day, one man protest atop a 150 foot high crane near the Tower Bridge in London. The protest snarled traffic for miles and reportedly cost businesses an estimated £50 million. Chick protested because he was unlawfully cut off from his toddler daughter. He had been to court 25 times and spent the equivalent of $30,000 in unsuccessful attempts to get English courts to enforce his visitation rights.

The image of a man so desperate that he would risk his life and risk prison to be with the little girl he loves moved millions. Polls showed that Chick was very popular, and he was acquitted by an English jury, some of whom were reportedly moved to tears by his testimony. To learn more, see his website http://spidermandad.com/.

Stainesby, one of this new protest’s leaders, has done numerous high-profile actions. Ironically, he is a registered child care provider and is thus allowed to care for any child in England except his 10-year-old daughter, with whom he is allowed little contact.

The group’s protests have been scrupulously peaceful. The protesters dressed up in superhero costumes in order to appear less threatening, to inject some humor into their protests, and, as F4J says, because little children often see their dads as superheroes. The group drew enormous and unprecedented publicity to the widespread problem of fathers being pushed out of their children’s lives after divorce or separation.

The Up and Down History of F4J

In recent years the group has struggled, for a few reasons:

1) They were unable to convert the media attention they skillfully cultivated into solid family law reform.

2) They were torn by faction fighting.

3) They were widely slandered in 2006 over an imaginary kidnapping plot. At the time I wrote:

“Plot to kidnap Blair’s son smashed.” “UK police foil plot to kidnap Blair’s son.” “Scotland Yard uncovers plot to kidnap Blair’s son.”

These recent headlines and hundreds like them illustrate Mark Twain’s assertion that “a lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is still putting on its shoes.” Major media worldwide—including CNN, the Associated Press, the BBC, Fox News, Reuters, and hundreds of newspapers—have reported that extremists tied to the British fathers’ rights group Fathers 4 Justice planned to kidnap British Prime Minister Tony Blair’s five-year-old son Leo. Yet subsequent reports reveal that the sensationalized kidnapping “plot” was apparently nothing more than drunken pub chattering among a couple fools and loudmouths who evidently didn’t realize they were being monitored. Not a single arrest has been made.

Nevertheless, this non-incident is and will for many years be used to portray the fathers’ movement as violent extremists. It is certainly true that fathers’ groups do attract a lunatic fringe. It is also true that there are divorced dads within the movement who…well, let’s just say it’s not hard to see why they’re divorced. But most fathers’ activists are decent, loving dads who can’t quite believe that the family law system so readily allowed them to be driven out of the lives of the children who love them and need them.

To learn more, see Something smells very fishy about the ‘Leo kidnap plot’ (The Daily Telegraph, 1/20/06).

My Misgivings

As I’ve noted before, for a variety of reasons I don’t like it when protesters target judges’ homes or their ex-wives’ homes, and it isn’t generally done. For one, these confrontations can turn violent, as almost happened when Stainesby protested on a judge’s roof previously and the judge pulled out a shotgun and pointed it at him. Two, it drags in the target’s family and children. Three, it gives the target of the protest the opportunity to go into a big “I’m so frightened of these awful men” act, which generally plays well in the press. This is particularly true when the judge or official targeted is a woman, as in this case.

Still, I think we have to acknowledge that there’s a difference between doing this kind of thing in the United States–a very violent society–and in England. From what I understand, this type of thing is seen as far less threatening there than it would be here. (Apparently when the judge pointed the shotgun at Stainesby he called F4J leader Matt O’Connor, who helpfully told him, “Make sure you get a picture of him pointing the gun at you.”)

I wouldn’t recommend this type of protest in the US, but I’ll defer to the UK F4J’s judgment about doing it there.

F4J’s Future

I don’t know if after this protest F4J will be able to overcome some of the problems which have plagued them, but I hope they do. I’ve been fortunate enough to have the opportunity to get to know O’Connor and Stainesby fairly well, and I respect them both.

To learn more about Fathers 4 Justice, click here and here. (Note: for some reason Stainesby’s name seems to be spelled differently each time he does a protest. I suggest readers also look for “Stainesby.”)

Late Note: How to Support the Protesters

English activist Steve Bayliss just sent out the following:

Please write to the BBC — http://news.bbc.co.uk/newswatch/ukfs/hi/feedback/default.stm

We need people supporting Jolly on the ground at Harman’s house and calling Walworth Police Station where Mark has been held for 24 hours now!!!

Walworth Police Station
323 Borough High Street,
Borough: Southwark
SE1 1JR View Map (launches a new window)
Telephone: 020 7378 1212

2nd Telephone: Textphone Number for Hard of Hearing: 020 7232 6013

Additional Information
Service Availability: Open 24 hours a day

Transport: Trains: Elephant and Castle, Borough ; Bus route(s): 12, 35, 40,
45, 68, 148, 168, 171, 468

To write a Letter to the Editor of the Buffalo News concerning Report minimizes boy crisis in our schools (5/31/08), write to LetterToEditor@buffnews.com.

The column, co-authored with family law attorney Jeffery M. Leving, is below. To learn more about the boy crisis in education, click here.

AAUW Education Report Minimizes Boy Crisis in Our Schools
By Jeffery M. Leving and Glenn Sacks 
 
Boys have trailed girls in most indices of academic performance for at least two decades. In recent years, boys’ educational struggles have finally been acknowledged and explored in the mainstream media. This has resulted in an unfortunate backlash from misguided women’s advocates. The latest example of these advocates’ efforts to minimize or deny the boy crisis in education is the American Association of University Women’s highly-publicized new report “Where the Girls Are: The Facts About Gender Equity in Education.”

The AAUW says its report “debunks the myth of a ‘boys crisis’ in education,” but the study provides little evidence to support this contention. According to the Report’s own data, girls get much better grades than boys, are far more likely to graduate college, and are on the good side of a longstanding “literacy gap.”

It is also true that girls are much more likely than boys to graduate high school, and boys are far more likely than girls to be disciplined, suspended, held back, or expelled. The vast majority of learning-disabled students are boys, and boys are four times more likely than girls to receive a diagnosis of attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder. Although more girls than boys enroll in high level math and science classes, boys do score a little better in math. However, girls’ advantage in reading is several times as large.

Most of the AAUW report’s claims are superficial and unconvincing. The Report tells us “the crisis is not specific to boys; rather, it is a crisis for African American, Hispanic, and low-income children.” Of course–low income and minority children do not fare as well as children from more advantaged groups. But the boys of any cohort are still behind the girls in most indices.

The Report reassures us that both sexes have stayed the same or improved on standardized tests in the past decade. This isn’t the point–the gender gap isn’t new, but has existed for well over a decade.

The AAUW says the report’s “results put to rest fears of a ‘boys’ crisis’ in education, demonstrating that girls’ gains have not come at boys’ expense.” This is another irrelevant point. Nobody claims the boy crisis exists because of girls’ gains–the issue is that boys’ performance fell significantly behind girls’, and has remained behind because we’ve failed to address boys’ problems. (more…)

ExRants.com–The Place to Rant About Your Ex ExRants.com is the place to rant about Ex-Wives, Ex-Husbands, Ex-Girlfriends, and any type of Relationship Rants. All posts are 100% anonymous. Get it off your chest and get a good night’s sleep. Do you have a question about something and would like to see what others think about it? Ask it here with complete anonymity. www.ExRants.com

“Glenn, this is what passes for a ’sexual assault’ at UCI. I’m not sure quite how I feel about it exactly, but it’s not what you picture when you imagine actually requesting a campus safety officer.”

The “Safety Alert” is below. The young man in question hardly seems like a gentleman or a model citizen, but seems even less like a dangerous criminal suspect worthy of a an “Emergency Communication.” Note how the campus police call this a “sexual assault,” and refer to the young woman as “the victim.”

From: “Safety Alert, UCI Police Department”
To: Emergency Communication List: ;
Subject: Sexual Assault on Thursday, May 29, 2008

On Thursday, May 29, 2008, a female UCI student was waiting out in front of Langson Library late in the afternoon when she was approached by a young man. He introduced himself as “Danny”, a student from another (unknown) school. Danny and the UCI student talked in front of Langson Library for two hours. Danny then suggested they visit the Anteater Pub to eat or drink and they walked over to the Pub at 7:30 pm.

While at the Anteater Pub, they continued talking and consumed several beers each (no food). At 9:30pm, the female student was tired and told Danny she had to go home; Danny offered her a ride and she accepted.

They walked to Danny’s car in Parking Lot #1. Danny’s car is only described as silver in color (no further description). Danny drove the female student out of Parking Lot #1 and made a hasty turn into Parking Lot 3-A (adjacent to the Merage School of Business and across from the Social Science Parking Structure).

The parking lot was empty. The female objected and asked why he had turned into the empty parking lot; Danny told the victim he wanted to talk some more.

Once parked in Lot 3-A, the student and Danny talked for another hour or so. Danny then unzipped the victim’s jeans and reached in, touching her pubic area several times; no penetration occurred. The victim verbally resisted and Danny stopped.

Danny then put his hand into the victim’s shirt, grabbing her breasts. Fearing for her safety, the victim fled the silver car and ran away toward Langson Library at 11pm. Danny started following the victim on foot for 100 yards, calling to her to stop; Danny returned to in his car and left the area. The victim made good her escape and arrived at Langson Library.

The victim was upset over the incident, and did not immediately seek police assistance. She sat outside Langson Library for two hours before being spotted by others who notified police at 1am. The victim provided the below suspect description; she was not injured.

Suspect Description: “Danny”, Male Asian, 21 years, short black hair, brown eyes, 6 ft 1 inch tall, 160 lbs. Last seen wearing a gray sweatshirt and blue jeans.

Our safety escort service is available by calling 949-824-SAFE. A uniformed CSO will then meet you and escort you to your destination, a safe alternative to walking alone at night.

If you have further information on the suspect or are a witness, please call the UCI Police Department at 949-824-5223.

ExRants.com–The Place to Rant About Your Ex ExRants.com is the place to rant about Ex-Wives, Ex-Husbands, Ex-Girlfriends, and any type of Relationship Rants. All posts are 100% anonymous. Get it off your chest and get a good night’s sleep. Do you have a question about something and would like to see what others think about it? Ask it here with complete anonymity. www.ExRants.com

“A 13-year-old girl’s sexual shenanigans have put a second man behind bars. Morris Williams, 22, told the judge he thought the girl was 18-years-old, but he found out Tuesday that ignorance is not a defense.

“Morris Williams’ mother wailed as he went off to jail. The judge asked for media not to show 13-year-old Alisha Dean’s face in court, but her pictures are all over her MySpace page and they portray a sexy, 19-year-old divorced woman.

“‘She told me she had just turned 18,’ Williams said.

“Williams said Dean picked him up on the street and after a few conversations they had sex. When he heard she was not 18, he went to her father.

“‘He was like ‘well, she’s 13,’ Williams said of a conversation with Dean’s father.

“Williams said he never did it again, but Dean has done it before with 24-year-old Darwin Mills. Mills was sentenced to five years in prison.”

OK, Morris Williams and Darwin Mills are idiots, but this is ridiculous–six years of prison between them and the only person they “harmed” is the person who victimized them. And I love the way the reporter refers to it as “a 13-year-old girl’s sexual shenanigans.” “Shenanigans”? Ha ha, it’s a real riot.

One of the Worst Fathers I’ve Ever Seen

The worst person in this whole story is the girl’s father, Jerry Dean. Williams came to him when he learned the girl was not 18, and what did the father do? Turn him in, apparently. Then he has the goddamned call to “want Williams to join Mills” in prison!? Yet this creep’s 13-yerar-old daughter is out having sex with adult strangers, advertising herself to them and luring them into a trap–and he apparently has nothing to say about it. (The article doesn’t mention the mother but I strongly suspect she’s of the same caliber as the father.)

And get this–”Dean’s family admits Alisha still stays out late and has yet to delete her misleading MySpace page.” As the latest victim’s stepdad says, “I guess we just sit back and count how many after this.”

The Criminal Defense Lawyer Blog–A Blog by Attorney Douglas R. Slain Criminal Defense Attorney Douglas R. Slain’s Criminal Defense Lawyer Blog gives a unique perspective on the widespread problem of false accusations. http://www.californiacriminaldefenselawyerblog.com/

ACFC President Dr. Linda Nielsen, author of the book Embracing Your Father, wrote an academic paper for the Journal of Divorce & Remarriage called Disenfranchising, Demeaning, and Demoralizing Divorced Dads : A Review of the literature several years ago. One of the paper’s most interesting sections is about idealizing mothers and motherhood–to the detriment of fathers.

It is excerpted below. Nielsen has many citations to support her arguments–I have removed them but they can be found on page 5 of her paper.

Idealizing Mothers and Motherhood, to the Detriment of Fathers
Dr. Linda Nielsen

Another way of demoralizing fathers is by representing motherhood in overly idealized ways. For example, mothers are often portrayed as the more virtuous, honest, unselfish, and self-sacrificing parent. And motherhood itself is typically presented as the most perfect, the most intense, and the most ideal love that any adult can have for a child.

Then too, we tend to idealize mothers when it comes to sex in that fathers are more likely to be portrayed as being unfaithful and being promiscuous. In reality, though, women in our country are almost as likely as men to commit adultery and are more likely to leave a marriage because they have fallen in love with someone else.

Many of us also seem to be the most forgiving and most understanding when it is the woman who commits adultery. That is, when a mother commits adultery, we are more likely to tell ourselves that she “couldn’t help it” because she was so lonely or so misunderstood by her husband.

Not surprisingly then, too many children wrongly believe that it was their father, not their mother, who caused the divorce by being unfaithful or by falling in love with someone else. And sadly it seems that too many children end up with little or no relationship with their father after divorce partly because they have such idealistic notions about mothers and motherhood.

Listen to the Wisest of All Listen to the Wisest of All is based on interviews with seniors between the ages of 88 and 104. The seniors honestly and eagerly shared unique insights, inspiring quotes, their strong spiritual beliefs, and their advice to the younger generation. Listen to the Wisest of All illustrates life through the retelling of the seniors’ experiences. Their stories were gathered into vignettes that reveal the deeper nuances of life, love, and the passions that gave meaning to their lives. www.listentothewisest.com

“The last time I saw Marie she was waving me goodbye / With hurry home drops on her cheek that trickled from her eye / Marie is only six years old, information please / Try to put me through to her in Memphis, Tennessee”

I’d been hearing the song “Memphis, Tennessee” by Elvis Presley, Chuck Berry and others for decades without ever realizing what Berry, the song’s author, was talking about. It’s actually a divorced dad song about a father’s severed relationship with his 6-year-old girl, Marie. Ned Holstein of Fathers & Families pointed it out to me the other day, and I felt stupid for not having realized it before.

The lyrics to the song are below, along with a video of Chuck Berry performing it. If you prefer Elvis, you can hear that by clicking here.

We’ll add it to our list of divorced dad songs which includes: Craig Morgan’s Every Friday Afternoon, Trace Adkins’ I’m Tryin’, Doug Supernaw’s I Don’t Call Him Daddy, Toby Keith’s Who’s That Man?, Tim McGraw’s Do You Want Fries With That?, and Sting’s I’m So Happy I Can’t Stop Crying, which was also later recorded by Toby Keith.

Memphis, Tennessee
(Words & Music by Chuck Berry)

Long distance information give me Memphis, Tennessee
Help me find the party trying to get in touch with me
She could not leave her number but I know who placed the call
My uncle took the message and he wrote it on the wall

Help me information to get in touch with my Marie
She’s the only one who’d phone me here from Memphis, Tennessee
Her home is on the Southside, high upon a ridge
Just a half a mile from the Mississippi bridge

Help me information more than that I cannot add
Only that I miss her and all the fun we had
But we were pulled apart because her mom did not agree
Tore apart our happy home in Memphis, Tennessee

The last time I saw Marie she was waving me goodbye
With hurry home drops on her cheek that trickled from her eye
Marie is only six years old, information please
Try to put me through to her in Memphis, Tennessee

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Fathers’ Resources International–Solutions for Divorced Dads Fathers’ Resources International has been helping divorced dads for over 12 years! Learn the secrets that can solve your custody, access/visitation and support problems. Call 888-543-2339 / 1-888-54-DADDY or write info@fathers-resources.com. Also, check out their Divorced Dad Minute Podcasts here. www.fathers-resources.com

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“Danica Patrick entered the Indianapolis 500 with confidence in her abilities and her Andretti Green Racing crew.

“But once the checkered flag waved…she looked ready to pick a fight — no matter whether it was another driver or a member of her own team.

“…Ryan Briscoe ran into her on pit road with 29 laps remaining. With her car’s rear suspension mangled beyond repair, the 5-foot-2 racer got out of the car and went straight for Briscoe’s Team Penske pit stall.

“If not for security crews directing her away from her destination, she may have tried to go through every one of them to get to their Australian driver.

“‘It is probably best that I didn’t get down there anyway, isn’t it?,’ she said after the race…

“After running into Briscoe…Her anger boiled over. Patrick may or may not be right in her beliefs about her race-ending accident, but with her attention-grabbing march toward the Penske pits, she gave her critics more ammunition to back their assertions that she is nothing more than an over-hyped, under-talented driver that turns petulant when things don’t go her way.”

This isn’t the first time Danica has done something like this–there was a similar incident last year.

In Defense of Danica

Robert, a reader, says Danica is getting a bad rap. He writes:

“Tony Stewart has been penalized so many times for such actions that it’s got to be coming soon to Saturday Night Live. How about AJ Foyt Jr. (not AJ IV), he was probably one of the original ‘Bad Boys,’ or Dale Earnhadt Sr…

“If I were Danica, and had some bone-head drives across multiple lanes like some idiot in 5:00 traffic, I’d be fuming too, especially if I had been fighting an ill-handling car for 3 hours prior to that, and managed only to hold ground (then again this year was a duel of maintaining momentum, no real dominant cars, so to win you had to minimize errors).

“There comes a time in the sport where you have to at the very least put on the public face that you will fight (figuratively) for your position on the track, otherwise you will soon enough get run over (literally) by every other competitor, less so in open wheel, but nonetheless true.”

Spoiled Brat or Getting a Bad Rap?

As for Estrada’s view that Danica Patrick is a spoiled brat, well, I’ve never liked that stereotype about professional athletes. It is certainly true that professional athletes are privileged in many ways, but they’ve also had to make great sacrifices and often face many hazards.

The “spoiled brat” slur usually is thrown at athletes who speak out against management, demand more pay, criticize alleged racism, or support their sport’s union. Often the players are correct. (This was particularly true during the 1981 baseball players’ strike–a righteous sports strike if there ever was one.) The “spoiled brat” view is usually espoused by people who have no concept of how hard professional athletes have to work, and how many hurdles they have to overcome.

I’m not sure if Patrick is that talented–I know little about pro racing–but she certainly has had to work hard and face many hazards. On the other hand, if there were ever any athlete who would be a spoiled brat, she might qualify–young and privileged by success, fame, and beauty. I’m sure she’s a perfectly decent person, but perhaps a mentor figure in her organization needs to give her a bit of a come-to-Jesus speech about these outbursts.

Are You the Target of Parental Alienation? Parental alienation expert J. Michael Bone, Ph.D. can help you get back into your children’s lives. His services are available throughout the U.S.–call (407) 645-0662 or write to jmbone@jmbconsulting.org. jmbconsulting.org

Below, “Arlene,” a reader who says her son was in Portillo’s class last year, writes in to defend the embattled teacher. Arlene writes:

“My son was in her class last year and she is a wonderful teacher. Unless you know who you have no idea how she is or who she is. I think it’s ashamed that this little boy can be mean to the other students in class and have nothing done to him because a Dr. just now since this happened said he has a problem. So when he gets older and if he hurts some one with more than just words it will be ok because he has a problem .

“My friend’s child is in his class this year and she agrees with me. Her child comes home all the time tell her what mean things he did or said to her that day . But again that’s ok cause he has a problem.

“If I was a parent of one of the those students in his class. I would press charges against his parents for their son bullying and being mean to them. It is no different then Mrs. Portillo letting the kids tell him how he makes them feel. This has upset my child who loves and misses Mrs. Portillo which in return upsets me. I wish the best of luck to Mrs. Portillo. She is in my prayers.”

Portillo is defending her action regarding the student–to learn more, see Florida kindergarten teacher defends having class vote 5-year-old out (Chicago Sun-Times, 5/29/08).

The incident report on the case, which includes an interview with Portillo, can be seen here.  The authorites decided that a criminal case on the crime of Child Abuse is not warranted.

SAMSONLAW–Divorce Lawyers for Michigan Men & Fathers If you’re a Michigan man faced with divorce, you need SAMSONLAW on your side–SAMSONLAW defends men. Smart Advocacy Means Stopping Oppression Now. INeedSamson.com

1) Dissident domestic violence experts have worked hard to stick to science and solid research methods in the face of tremendous pressure. Many of these attended the Sacramento Domestic Violence conference From Ideology to Inclusion: Evidence-Based Policy and Intervention in Domestic Violence in February. (Dr. Jennifer Langhinrichsen-Rohling, one of the speakers from that conference, is pictured above. To learn more, click here. Photo by Kevin Graft.)

2) The feminists’ media stranglehold on gender issues has weakened somewhat.

3) Advocates for male victims of domestic violence have done fine and effective work.

4) As Shakespeare noted in The Merchant of Venice, “At the length truth will out.”

When confronted with the unwelcome news that women are as much a part of family violence as men are, feminists use several evasion tactics. One is to claim that the data is faulty, though that has largely worn thin and has been replaced with claims that female violence is somehow “different,” or more justified. That one is also starting to wear thin, too. (See Dr. Langhinrichsen-Rohling’s views in ‘Every time we tried to say that women’s intimate partner abuse is different than men’s, the evidence did not support it’)

Another one–not new, but increasingly prominent–is to say that evidence of women’s violence is being misused to promote a misogynist agenda. A subset of this latter argument is what I’ve described as the “Feminist Intentional Walk”–when feminists ignore credible men’s advocates and instead quote some obscure loony in order to discredit all of us.

One example of this can be found in Janice Kennedy’s recent Ottawa Citizen opinion column We can’t help victims of violence if hatemongers hijack the agenda (5/25/08). Kennedy grapples with the fact that a recent study found that a significant amount of men are victims of domestic violence.

Kennedy could have quoted or cited any one of dozens of credible advocates on the subject, but since her intent was to stigmatize rather than edify, she reached way, way down and came up with an individual named Kirby Inwood. No, I’d never heard of him either, but his website features gems like this:

“I have consistently found women lawyers to generally be the scum of the earth”

“If you don’t like what I say, you must be a blind, feminist bigot or a male collaborating white ribbon wimp.”

Kennedy adds that Inwood was once convicted of “assault on his wife and infant son.” (I don’t know the details on the case, and it is possible it was one of those domestic violence railroad jobs.)

Anyway, in palming off Inwood’s comments as somehow representative of men’s activists, she writes “There are many public purveyors of misogyny, but one colorfully venomous Canadian example sums them up. Kirby Inwood.” She adds, “the ‘men’s rights’ activists, are going to gobble [the new report] up and spit it out again in a malignancy of poisonous deceit.”

So instead of quoting the many, many experts who have researched and quantified women’s family violence, we’re instead supposed to focus on this obscure loony. That’s weak journalism on Kennedy’s part, to say the least.

[Note: If you or someone you love is being abused, the Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men and Women provides crisis intervention and support services to victims of domestic violence and their families.] 

The Criminal Defense Lawyer Blog–A Blog by Attorney Douglas R. Slain Criminal Defense Attorney Douglas R. Slain’s Criminal Defense Lawyer Blog gives a unique perspective on the widespread problem of false accusations. http://www.californiacriminaldefenselawyerblog.com/

“Phillips may not be the brightest crayon in the box, but his story is one that once again calls into question the legislative sanity of some of the overreach of our laws regarding what constitutes ‘child pornography.’

“It turns out that Phillips at some point in the last year was friendly with a 16-year old girl called HLK (14 months his junior) who sent him two explicit photos of her completely naked in different positions. She took the photos with her cell phone camera and sent them to his email address. Phillips, apparently miffed that HLK had started seeing someone else recently, decided to post the photos (with lewd captions) to his MySpace account.”

I condemn Phillips’ vindictive spurned lover routine, but authorities went way, way overboard here. Phillips is being charged with two felonies–possession of child pornography and sexual exploitation of a child under 18 years of age. Both of these are wildly inappropriate for the situation. (He’s also being charged with misdemanor defamation, which I think is fair.)

The Phillips case is another example of law enforcement using laws designed to entrap adults who are exploiting children as a way of punishing/jailing teen boys. Child pornography laws are supposed to target adult men exploiting 9-year-old children. They aren’t supposed to target teen lovers.

Similarly, statutory rape laws–whose purpose is to prevent 30-year-old men from having sex with 15-year-old girls–are increasingly being used to target teen boys who have sex with girls who are in similar age brackets. One good example can be found here.

Read more about Alex Phillips here.

The American Coalition for Fathers and Children The American Coalition for Fathers and Children is dedicated to creating a family law system which promotes equal rights for all parties affected by divorce. Contact the ACFC at 1-800-978-3237 or visit them on the web at www.acfc.org.

“The Barack Obama campaign said Tuesday the candidate mistakenly referred to the wrong Nazi death camp when relating the story of a great uncle who helped liberate the camps in World War II.

“The Democratic presidential candidate said the story is accurate except that the camp was Buchenwald, not Auschwitz…

“Obama’s mistaken mention of the camp on Monday quickly generated Internet chatter, ranging from puzzlement to outrage. The Republican Party demanded an explanation.

“‘It was Soviet troops that liberated Auschwitz, so unless his uncle was serving in the Red Army, there’s no way Obama’s statement yesterday can be true,’ said Alex Conant, a spokesman for the Republican National Committee.”

So Obama–who must be so tired from the endless, endless, endless campaigning that he can probably barely see straight–confused the names of two concentration camps. Big deal–most Americans couldn’t even name two concentration camps.

But the real significance of the gaffe is this–”‘It was Soviet troops that liberated Auschwitz, so unless his uncle was serving in the Red Army, there’s no way Obama’s statement yesterday can be true,’ said Alex Conant, a spokesman for the Republican National Committee.”

An ironic comment, to say the least. American conservatives have spent the last 60 years pretending it was the US and Britain who defeated Nazi Germany, when the vast majority of Nazi Germany’s casualties occurred on the eastern front, against the USSR. When celebrating the 40th anniversary of D-Day in 1984, then-president Ronald Reagan read General Eisenhower’s announcement for the day and deliberately omitted Eisenhower’s reference to America’s Soviet allies.

The first president to properly acknowledge the Soviet role–the leading Soviet role–was Clinton, not because he was more honest but because the Cold War was over so we could stop the stupid charade. It was that generation of Russians–28 million of whom died in World War II, and millions of whom also died at the hands of their own dictatorship–who saved humanity.

The picture above is of the Soviet Army liberating Auschwitz. The video below has footage of the Soviet Army capturing and liberating Auschwitz–it’s in German (I think) but it is still worth watching.

Thanks to Valerie, a reader, for sending the story.

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The American Coalition for Fathers and Children The American Coalition for Fathers and Children is dedicated to creating a family law system which promotes equal rights for all parties affected by divorce. Contact the ACFC at 1-800-978-3237 or visit them on the web at www.acfc.org.

Background: In my blog post Once Again, the Female Criminal Justice Sentencing Discount from last year, I discussed the BBC article

“Stephen Marsh, 36, was sentenced to 18 years for persuading Rebecca Harris, 30, to stab his wife Jaspal to death at the marital home in Gorseinon, Swansea. Harris was given a 12-year sentence for carrying out the July 2006 murder.”

I wrote:

“Both the man and the woman…deserve severe punishment, but I can’t help but notice the gender bias in sentencing here.

“The husband and his lover plotted to kill the man’s wife. The husband urged his girlfriend to commit the crime, but physically played no role in the murder. The girlfriend stabbed the man’s wife 16 times with a knife. Yet the husband got an 18 year sentence and the girlfriend–the one who actually committed the murder–got only 12 years, partially because she cooperated with prosecutors, but also because she’s a woman, and women are treated with kid gloves by the criminal justice system.

“Also, when a man and a woman commit a crime together, the state is more likely to offer a deal to the woman to testify against the man than vice versa.”

I regularly receive letters from people who are the family or friends of men who are on trial for or have been convicted of serious crimes, such as murder.  The family or friends of the accused or convicted man explained that the man has been the victim of an injustice, or framed, or is in some other way innocent, and they ask me to take up their cause and publicize it. 

Recently I received this type of request from Garry Leech in support of Stephen Marsh.  Apparently British writer Sandra Lean, author of No Smoke – The Shocking Truth about British Justice, has also taken up Marsh’s cause. Garry Leech sent me the following letter:

“Glenn, I have just read your article on the murder of Jaspal Marsh and I would like you to visit www.stephenmarshisinnocent.co.uk before making your mind up with regards to Stephen. There are many people who believe Stephen is innocent who were both friends and family of Jaspal Marsh, and also people who have read the shocking facts of this miscarriage of justice.

“Ask yourself why people who knew Jas would support Stephen. If they thought he was guilty, surely they would not be supporting him, as they have lost a very special person in Jas. The only person who is guilty in this horrific crime is Rebecca Harris. She committed this crime as she knew Stephen would never leave Jas.

“Stephen had nothing at all to gain by being part of this murder. I hope by reading his website that it at least makes you think that this case could be a miscarriage of justice. We can never bring back Jas but we can help support Stephen in his fight for freedom.”

I hadn’t followed the case since I wrote about it a year ago, and I had to go do a search on my website to remember who Stephen Marsh was. I certainly do think it was unfair that he was sentenced to far more time in prison than Rebecca Harris was, even though she was the one who committed the killing and he was not.  Beyond that, I do not really have any particular reason to question Marsh’s conviction, and I’m interested as to what readers think.  A few comments:

1) Leech writes “Stephen had nothing at all to gain by being part of this murder.” Well, maybe, but maybe not.  The Marsh marriage was obviously a troubled one–the website created by Marsh’s defenders says, “He had affairs but Jaz was his wife, he knew the difference and so did Jaz.”

It is possible, though the Marsh side will deny it, that Stephen wanted to begin a new life with Rebecca, and it would have been much more convenient if Jaspal (aka “Jaz”) were out of the way.  We’re told that Stephen had little interest in Rebecca and wanted to break up with her, but the fact remains that he was having an affair with her, which certainly shows a significant level of interest. 

Also, we do not know that Jaz took the affair as lightly as Steven’s defenders say she did.  Perhaps she was going to cause real trouble over the affairs, and within certain limits, I couldn’t blame her.

2) Stephen Marsh — whose defenders themselves say that he had regular affairs — hardly seems like a trustworthy individual.  Certainly that does not make him a murderer or an accessory to murder, but it does to some significant degree impugn his credibility.

3) Marsh’s defenders write, “If Steve had wanted to be with Rebecca Harris he could have walked out of the door at any time. Steve and Jaz had no children and Steve would have been entitled to half of whatever they had built up together.”  Again, maybe, but maybe not. 

I certainly agree that the fact that they did not have children makes it far, far easier for Stephen to have left his wife.  However, we have seen cases where divorcing men are so obsessed with their money, or what they think is “their” money, that they have reacted irrationally or even violently in a situation where most outsiders would think they were getting a pretty decent deal.

The Nicholas Bartha case — where a divorcing man blew up a building he owned with his wife rather than allow her to have it through their divorce settlement — is one example. It was extraordinarily selfish of him to put others in danger because of his personal vendetta.

The Darren Mack case is another example. Here the wealthy businessman had a good deal (including 50-50 custody of his daughter and a reasonable financial settlement) but stabbed and nearly cut his ex-wife’s head off and attempted to murder a judge.

We have also seen situations where men get screwed financially in divorce even though there are no children involved. Stephen Marsh had affairs yet stayed married to his wife — it seems that for whatever reason, he was hesitant to leave her.

4)  Marsh’s defenders write “Steve would never, ever in a million years have left Jaz, she was his rock in life, organized everything for them and looked after him.” Again, this seems suspicious.  If she was such a great wife, if he was so devoted to her, if she was “his rock in life,” why was he repeatedly having affairs?  Yes, it is possible that Steven did regard his wife in this reverential manner, but it seems unlikely.

5)  Marsh’s defenders write:

“Rebecca Harris claimed that Stephen, who was not there (this is not disputed), sent her texts saying ‘Do it’ and ‘Just Do It’ and Stephen was jointly convicted of murder. She was sentenced to 12 years in jail, Stephen was sentenced to 18 years. He will never, ever, change his assertion of his complete innocence and so may never come out of prison if we cannot prove his innocence. The media repeatedly reported that ‘evidence showed’ that Stephen sent texts saying the words ‘Do It’ and ‘Just Do It’ and anyone could be forgiven for believing that those words must have been physically recovered from a mobile phone.

“No texts from Stephen to anyone saying any such thing were ever recovered from anywhere - they exist only in the version of events given by the murderer Rebecca Harris

“The ‘evidence’ referred to was the version of events put forward by Rebecca Harris, this was not made clear by the media, instead by using the phrase ‘evidence showed’, they allowed their readers and viewers to believe that texts showing those words must physically exist – those words have never been found to exist by any investigation – this is not an opinion this is a fact.”

If what  Marsh’s defenders say here is true, this is very important.  I know that prosecutors will sometimes distort evidence in order to win a conviction.  I know that defendants don’t always have competent legal help.  I know that the media can simplify or distort things, particularly when the bad guy in the story is a man.  On the other hand, it seems somewhat unlikely that prosecutors could get a conviction based on phantom evidence such as Marsh’s defenders describe.

The website and the case for Marsh is at www.stephenmarshisinnocent.co.uk. While some of Marsh’s defenders’ arguments seem flawed to me, I’m not convinced that they are wrong, and I’m  interested to see what readers think of Marsh’s guilt or innocence.

Parental-Alienation-Awareness.com Stop Parental Alienation–a terrible form of Child Abuse. Nine states have now officially recognized Parental Alienation Awareness Day. To learn more, go to Parental-Alienation-Awareness.com.

“Melissa Barton said she is considering legal action after her son’s kindergarten teacher led his classmates to vote him out of class.

“After each classmate was allowed to say what they didn’t like about Barton’s 5-year-old son, Alex, his Morningside Elementary teacher said they were going to take a vote, Barton said.

“By a 14 to 2 margin, the class voted him out of the class.

“Barton said her son is in the process of being diagnosed with Aspberger’s, a type of high-functioning autism…

“Alex has had disciplinary issues because of his disabilities, Barton said. The school and district has met with Barton and her son to create an individual education plan, she said. His teacher, Wendy Portillo, has attended these meetings, she said.

“Barton said after the vote, Alex’s teacher asked him how he felt.

“He said, ‘I feel sad,’ she said.

“Alex left the classroom and spent the rest of the day in the nurse’s office, she said…

“Alex hasn’t been back to school since then, and Barton said he won’t be returning. He starts screaming when she brings him with her to drop off his sibling at school.

“Barton said Alex is reliving the incident.

“They said he was ‘disgusting’ and ‘annoying,’ Barton said.

“‘He was incredibly upset,’ Barton said. ‘The only friend he has ever made in his life was forced to do this.’”

As a former teacher, I certainly know the challenges that teachers often face, and I also realize how incidents which seem innocent and humorous in the classroom can sound ominous or harmful when relayed second or third or fourth hand to administrators or parents. That being said, if this news article is accurate, there’s no defense of what Wendy Portillo did in humiliating this little boy (pictured).

A few thoughts:

1) Sometimes a child will act up or act very strangely in class and the teacher may get in trouble later for disciplining the child or mishandling the situation because the child, unbeknownst to the teacher, had special needs or special issues.  In this case, however, Wendy Portillo knew all about the special problems this boy had– she had attended meetings where the boy’s disability was discussed and plans were made on how to help him.

2) It is true that teachers are human like anybody else and can lose their temper in a difficult situation like anybody else.  However, what Wendy Portillo did went far, far beyond losing her temper. This was hardly a short, quickly regretted outburst, but instead prolonged psychological abuse of the little boy.

3) It is quite true that one disruptive student, or out-of-control student, or special needs student who is unable to control himself, can disrupt an entire classroom.  While I make no excuses whatsoever for what Wendy Portillo reportedly did, it is also possible that she was supposed to receive more support services from the school and did not receive them. 

For example, perhaps the boy was supposed to go to a specialist a couple hours a day for help.  This is good for the boy, obviously, and also relieves some of the pressure on the teacher. It is not uncommon for schools to arrange this type of special services and then for the special services to be intermittent, or canceled due to funding cuts or personnel changes.

I experienced this once during the year I taught fourth grade.  I had a boy in my class — a very nice, good natured boy who I liked — who did not know how to read.  How he was in the fourth grade and why he was there when he did not know how to read is a good question. 

Anyway, he received special services — for an hour or two a day he would be taken out of my classroom and would go to a specialist who would help him learn how to read.  It was a good arrangement — the boy began improving, and I had at least a couple hours a day where I did not have to pacify a boy who was largely clueless as to what was going on in class because he could not read. 

After about a month or six weeks of this, you can guess what happened — the reading class was eliminated, perhaps due to budget cuts, and the boy was dumped back in my class, making things more difficult for everyone involved–the boy, the other students, and myself. It is possible that something like this occurred with Wendy Portillo.

The full article is St. Lucie teacher has students vote on whether 5-year-old can stay in class (TCPalm.com, 5/23/08)–thanks to Chris. a reader, for sending it.

ExRants.com–The Place to Rant About Your Ex ExRants.com is the place to rant about Ex-Wives, Ex-Husbands, Ex-Girlfriends, and any type of Relationship Rants. All posts are 100% anonymous. Get it off your chest and get a good night’s sleep. Do you have a question about something and would like to see what others think about it? Ask it here with complete anonymity. www.ExRants.com

“When it comes to domestic violence legislation, the road to hell is paved with good intentions and Senator Joe Biden (D-Del) owns an asphalt company.

“Biden’s latest domestic violence bill is the National Domestic Violence Volunteer Attorney Network Act, which amends Biden’s Violence Against Women Act to create an extensive network of volunteer attorneys to help abused women. The attorneys would provide free legal help in forging divorce or separation agreements and in winning child custody…

“S.1515 will do some good in aiding abused low-income women. The problem is that the bill will also greatly exacerbate the already widespread problem of false domestic violence claims being used to strip decent, loving fathers of custody of their children. There is no mechanism within the bill to distinguish between false accusations and legitimate ones.“

My co-authored column Biden’s Misguided S1515 Will Exacerbate Domestic Violence System’s Problems (Philadelphia Daily News, 12/7/07) criticized a new bill which will enlist 100,000 volunteer attorneys to help purportedly abused women win custody of their children from their alleged abusers.

The National Organization for Women has a campaign in support of the bill, and the bill is also supported by the American Bar Association and the Family Violence Prevention Fund. The bill can be seen here. Biden’s pitch for the bill from his defunct presidential campaign can be seen here.

Shared parenting advocate Ron Grignol (pictured), who in 2005 ran for the Virginia state legislature and made shared parenting one of the key issues of his campaign, recently sent out an update on the bill. Grignol writes:

“The bill S1515 has  price tag of 55.5 million over 5 years.  I checked the language of the bill and calculated 55.5 million.
 
“I was talking to a Senate Judiciary Committee staffer yesterday about VAWA and she told me that Senator Coburn (R-OK) raised objections on the price tag. She said even Biden didn’t believe it was 55.5 million until he was shown that this was in fact the case. 

“Coburn started a debate but the bill passed out of committee. It looks like the bill passed with a voice vote which is what committee members do when they don’t want their vote to be recorded. However, the bill still has a long way to go to become law.”

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“The time is now for conservative black churches to join with white Christians in opposing this ruling. For far too long churches have sat on the sidelines while serious moral issues have been decided without their participation. This issue is about right and wrong.

“Changing the definition of traditional marriage to include homosexuals is wrong and Christians have a moral duty to speak out against it. Black ministers must encourage their congregations to support grassroots coalitions that seek to protect traditional marriage.”–Rev. Jesse Lee Peterson, President of the Brotherhood Organization of a New Destiny, on the recent California Supreme Court pro-gay marriage decision

Are you kidding me? Seventy percent of all black children are born out of wedlock, most are growing up without a father in their homes, the black family has been shredded, black noncustodial fathers are harassed and jailed over unrealistic child support demands and are only marginally able to participate in their children’s lives, and the good reverend with a straight face tells us that the problem black churches need to focus on is…gay marriage?! Out of everything black Americans are facing, this is the “serious moral issue” that black churches need to tackle?

I would love for Jesse to explain the connection between gay marriage and the woes faced by black families. My opinions on the recent court decision are elaborated in my recent post Christian Groups’ Hysterics over New CA. Pro-Gay Marriage Decision.

I had an odd run-in with Peterson when we were both on a speaker’s panel at a Los Angeles discussion during a screening of the documentary “Before the Fact” at the Raleigh studios in Los Angeles in 2005. He and I were on the discussion panel, and we clashed after he made several wild and insulting generalizations about women, including “99% of [family] violence is coming from women.”

After I distanced myself from his clownish comments he accused me of wimping out, and he and I got into a brief, angry jawing match in front of everybody. It was strange, to say the least. I’ve watched with mild amusement as Peterson’s prominence and media profile has continued to increase–it tells you more about the way the media works than you want to know.

Help for Los Angeles/Ventura County Dads Peter M. Walzer, Certified Family Law Specialist www.California-Divorce.com