POLITICAL SATIRE Nobody’s Opinion: It’s certainly a good thing we have the breaking news of another hypocritical, sex crazed, corrupting New York politician scandal on TV today. By wisely resigning his governorship, Eliot Spitzer…well, let’s just say, instead of being prosecuted as he should be, will go on to work in a wonderful corporate job,... »
Author Archive
Tithing With Bubba, or Go Ahead—Take My Change
Nobody’s Opinion: One of my favorite stories of Jesus is the morning he gave his famous “sermon” on the mound speech. I love that speech. And what’s particularly special about it, is that it was free to the public. Imagine…one of the most spectacular lectures ever given on earth, and it was free! Jesus was... »
You Have Two Cows…
Nobody’s Flash of the day: This is going around the “e-mails.” Maybe you’ve seen it, maybe not. There is no claim to authorship on it, so because I have no idea who wrote it, I can’t tell you. Nevertheless…enjoy. HOW THE WORLD OF POLITICS WORKS; DEMOCRATIC: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none.... »
Nobody Reports on a Presidential Monday: “Houston, We Have a Problem
Nobody’s Opinion: Boy do we. We have a bunch of space cadets walking around down here looking for a port. The port used to be the United States of America, but many of us can’t find it. Where in the nebula did it go?“Roger, Roger…come in …Houston, can you read me?” Down here on earth,... »
Paris Hilton & Hillary Clinton: Heiress Philosophy 101
Nobody’s Opinion: Not many people know that Paris Hilton and Hillary Clinton have a lot in common. In fact, I would have never thought of comparing the two if I had not read Paris’s book, Confessions of an Heiress. Yes, Heiress Paris’s philosophy on life is so much like Heiress Hillary’s, that it’s hard... »
The Expendable American Paper Cup Patent System
Nobody’s Opinion: While everyone is talking about Hillary and the ever boring contest of multiple billionaires running for the office of “President of Multinational Billionaires” in order to represent all their fellow billionaires friends of the New World Multinational Corporations—everyone in the press but a brave few are ignoring the two final nails of... »
Heather McCartney: Poster Woman for MND
Nobody Flashes Anymore: If there ever was a woman who walked the earth just begging to be the poster child for MND (Who should consider putting her "Wanted" poster up for crimes against mankind) it should be Heather McCartney. Matt Laurer could barely get in his words today on his morning show because she... »
Want Some Candy, Little Boy?
Nobody’s Opinion; I don’t get it. For the last ten years I have been wearing my favorite mask, I like to call the it the “Old Hag,” and none of the kids in the neighborhood come to my house for candy…not one. I can’t figure it out. And every year I buy candy, only to... »
Hillary’s Hard Lesson
Nobody Flashes Anymore: Many parents today all over America are suffering anxiety attacks, due to the new policies being implemented in all our public schools. Because our Federal Government, does not trust the American parent to properly raise their own child, they are now giving out condoms, and birth control to eleven-year-olds. Planned Parenthood is... »
Nobody’s Absurdities, No. 56-Nobody Thinks in A.D.D.
Nobody's Opinion; Last week, my brain was mottled in a motley mess of what many would call—ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) misrule. When I tried to focus on one news story, I would turn the page, or just sit down, and there would be another observation in my mounting collection of ADD absurdities. In fact,... »
Nobody Likes Watson’s I.Q. Test
Nobody’s Opinion: Last week, James Watson, the Nobel-prize winner for his work on DNA made this statement: “I am white and therefore genetically superior.” No, that’s not what he said—actually he said he was “inherently gloomy about the prospect of Africa because all our social policies are based on the fact that their intelligence is the... »
No Wonder We Can’t Find bin Laden!
Nobody Flashes: Today, President George W. Bush, went to view the damage done by the fires in California, using the same binoculars that he uses when he is trying to find bin Laden. "Hey, I think I see him!" Some of us will miss that famous sense of humor of his. Nobody's Perfect: Rudy Giuliani, who... »
Evacuating Nobody Opinions of Fire
Nobody’s Opinion: Did you ever wake up on the right side of the bed, only to wish for the good old days when you woke up on the wrong side? The headlines today said, “Biggest Evacuation in American History”. Over one million people, grabbing their horses, doggies, kids, spouses, pictures, and pup tents, are scrambling... »
Who Wants Rome To Burn?
Nobody's Flashes: Okay…the one question that is on every man or women that still has any sort of intelligence is: Who is starting these fires? Let's face it, the Santa Ana winds have been around for quite some time now, and as we watch most of southern California go up in flames…the news reporters, do... »
The “Sex” Factor
Nobody's Opinion; Walk into any room, stand very still, and yell the word “sex!” out loud, and everyone in the room will turn at you, and stare. They might even laugh. Now, walk into any room and yell the word “fire!” You might get the same reaction. People will search around for smoke, maybe... »
Liberal Lawyer to Defend Savage Nation
Nobody’s Perfect: It seems, once again…Michael Savage has gotten the elite’s communista’s angry again. The very thing that endears him to his listeners—that monolithic frankness, the screaming tirades against liberalism, the politically incorrect memorable quotes, just seem to blurt out of him like a fizzed-up bottle of pop. He just can’t help himself—which is... »
Che Guevara Is Dead-Get Over It
Nobody’s Opinion: Yesterday, while taking a walk through a local mall, I noticed something that was quite disturbing, in a déjà vu sort of way. Che Guevara’s tee-shirts seemed to be in way too many store windows for my patriotic liking, along with Al Pacino’s Scar face character… “Say hello to my little friend.” These... »
Cruising to Kennebunkport
Nobody's Opinion: Okay. What's with all the boat trips to Kennebunkport? And why don't they take this man's license away? As you can see here: George Senior is just a little too boat happy. And it seems his son takes after him. But heck, I guess if your an x-President and want to ram a boat into... »
Brain Defibrillations
Nobody’s Opinion: Okay, I’m in a funk right now. Politics has got me crazy. I’m starting to walk around in a daze, tripping over old dog bones, wondering when the actual question of, “How many angels can fit on the end of a pin?” will get around to being discussed under EG’s columns,... »
Would You Do This?
Nobody Knows; The cell phone is becoming such a part of our culture, that young men, especially the evocative ones who work at various Star Bucks, have thought up the answer to the ever growing problem of not losing their cell phone. Just carry it in your earlobe. Sexy. Of course, answering the phone is... »
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