Why Dads Matter

Why Dads Matter

Excerpts:

A Journal of Marriage and Family study found that the presence of a father was five times more important in predicting teen drug use than any other sociological factor, including income and race. A published Harvard review of four major studies found that, accounting for all major socioeconomic factors, children without a father in the home are twice as likely to drop out of high school or repeat a grade as children who live with their fathers. A Journal of Research in Crime and Delinquency study concluded that fatherlessness is so predictive of juvenile crime that, as long as there was a father in the home, children of poor and wealthy families had similar juvenile crime rates. Adult children of divorce realize dads are important.

A published Arizona State University study found that more than two-thirds believed that, after divorce, living equal amounts of time with each parent is the best arrangement for children.

According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services new report Child Maltreatment 2004, when one parent is acting without the involvement of the other parent, mothers are almost three times as likely to kill their children as fathers are, and are more than twice as likely to abuse them.

The Health of Fatherhood

The Health of Fatherhood

Excerpts:

On the one hand, we have a vast empirical research literature showing that both children and fathers benefit on almost all conceivable outcome indices when they are involved in each others lives as the children are growing up and being guided by their fathers into adulthood and beyond.

On the other hand, we have the following widely accepted contemporary demographics: one third of children are born to women who are not married at the time of delivery (and presumably do not have a father involved in the child’s life on a continual basis); 50% of first marriages end in divorce and another 17% end in permanent separation yielding an effective two thirds marital dissolution rate for first marriages; the divorce rate for second and subsequent marriages is about 10% higher; and the cookie-cutter formula used by most states grants physical custody to mothers about 85% of the time with the father being awarded infrequent visitation along with child support and alimony obligations.

Second, a minimum of two out of three divorces are initiated by wives. In my view, this is because mothers get all of the marbles in divorce. Specifically, and with some state to state variability, mothers not only get the children (about 85% of the time) but they also get half of the marital assets (sometimes mostly the father’s assets) plus the father’s income to support her and the children often in the former marital home along with the tax benefits associated with the children. By contrast, the father gets to pay for and furnish an apartment and, if lucky, is awarded alternate weekends with his children, perhaps an evening in between, and perhaps half a summer and other holidays. Critically, when the children are with the father he must feed, shelter, clothe, and entertain them with whatever he has left over after he continues to pay child-support and alimony to his ex-wife.

Clearly, all the current legislative incentives to divorce belong to the mother and none to the father. The solution to increasing father-child relationships post-divorce -- and as a critical fringe benefit to reduce the divorce rate as the incentives to divorce disappear -- is to change existing state family law on three fronts: (a) Establish a presumption of equal shared parenting; and (b) establish equal financial responsibility for both mothers and fathers along with legally mandated financial accountability for both; and (c) change the child support models from income sharing models to child cost sharing models.

In closing, the bad news is that the health of fatherhood in 2006 is grim. The good news is that we got where we are today not through natural disasters but through woman-made disasters -- which can be reversed. Thus, we have the opportunity this Fathers Day, as we have every Fathers Day, to enhance the quality of life of America’s children and fathers through new political initiatives and public policy. However, we must act quickly, lest Fathers become yet another member of an exponentially expanding Endangered Species List.

Shared Parenting Bill Would Help New York's Children of Divorce

Shared Parenting Bill Would Help New York's Children of Divorce

More Glenn Sacks...

Excerpts:

According to a meta-analysis conducted by psychologist Robert Bauserman and published in the American Psychological Association‘s Journal of Family Psychology, children in joint custody settings had fewer behavior and emotional problems, higher self-esteem, better family relations, and better school performance than children in sole custody arrangements.

A Harvard University study of 517 families conducted across a four-and-a-half year period measured depression, deviance, school effort, and school grades in children ranging in age from 10 to 18. The researchers found that the children in joint custody settings fared better in these areas than those in sole custody.

A study by psychologist Joan Kelly published in the Family and Conciliation Courts Review found that children of divorce “express higher levels of satisfaction with joint physical custody than with sole custody arrangements,” and cite the “benefit of remaining close to both parents” as an important factor.

When Arizona State University psychology professor William Fabricius conducted a study of college students who had experienced their parents’ divorces while they were children, he found that over two-thirds believed that “living equal amounts of time with each parent is the best arrangement for children."

Research demonstrates that joint custody also leads to high rates of child support compliance. This is no surprise--parents who are permitted little role in their children’s lives have less motivation to make sacrifices for their children. Also, under the current system noncustodial parents are often forced to wage expensive court battles in order to protect their time and relationships with their children. These parents end up supporting lawyers instead of kids.

According to a study in the Journal of Divorce & Remarriage, over time joint custody serves to help reduce conflict between divorced spouses. When Texas Woman's University conducted a study of the effects of post-divorce discord on children aged 8 to 12, they found that joint custody does not expose children to greater parental conflict. Bauserman’s research found that divorced couples with joint custody report less conflict than those in sole-custody settings.

Child Custody Policies and Divorce Rates in the US

I'm fairly certain I have linked to this before but I'm feeling too lazy to go back and check....

Child Custody Policies and Divorce Rates in the US
Richard Kuhn, John Guidubaldi, D.Ed.

Summary and Conclusions

The evidence reported in this paper indicates that widespread acceptance of joint physical custody will not increase the divorce rate, and may in fact reduce divorce. States whose family law policies - either by statute or through judicial practice - encourage joint custody have shown a much greater decline in their divorce rates than those that favor sole custody.

Both social and economic factors may explain the differences between divorce rates. Sole custody allows one spouse to relocate easily and to hurt the other by taking away the children. Potentially higher child support payments with sole custody may provide an economic motive for divorce as well. With joint physical custody, both social and economic motives for divorce are reduced, so parents considering divorce may simply decide it is easier to remain married. States whose policies result in more joint custody and less sole custody should thus see a reduction in divorce rates. The findings reported in this paper indicate that this is in fact happening.

Joint Custody: Bonding and Monitoring Theories

Joint Custody: Bonding and Monitoring Theories
Margaret F. Brinig & F.H. Buckley

Excerpts:

This Article discusses two possible benefits of joint custody. Under bonding theories, fathers permit themselves to grow more attached to children when they do not fear a complete break with them on divorce. With the increased emotional ties, divorce becomes less likely. This greatly benefits children, as divorce is one of the greatest tragedies which can befall them.

Under monitoring theories, joint custody addresses an agency-cost problem that arises under sole custody. The noncustodial parent cannot easily see how his financial contributions are spent, and therefore assumes the risk that some moneys will be misspent. With joint custody, by contrast, the parent can monitor for such problems through his increased access and responsibility.(2)

Some feminists argue that joint custody ill-serves children. In the move from maternal custody, it is said, fathers who really did not want to raise their child have been awarded joint custody.(19) The move to joint custody has also been seen as unfair to women. In the stress on the child's well-being, the mother's contributions during marriage are devalued. The father's newfound interest in child rearing is heralded and welcomed, while the more faithful mother's longtime contributions are ignored.(20) More radical feminists see joint custody as a tool to control former wives.(21) The debate is often highly politicized, and joint custody is indeed strongly supported by a fathers' rights movement.(22)

These concerns suggest a useful empirical agenda.(26) However, it is wrong to conclude that screening problems occur only under joint custody. Courts may also err under sole custody, and award exclusive custody to an unfit parent. There is indeed little reason to think that these problems are more severe under joint than sole custody. We might fear a grant of joint custody to unfit fathers if male family-law judges, under the grip of a humanist ideology, systematically favored men. But can anyone seriously think that this describes family-law courts in America? Moreover, given the better monitoring available through shared custody, joint custody's self-correcting tendencies are plausibly stronger than those of sole custody.

We therefore hypothesize that a move to joint custody will decrease divorce rates. Fathers will react to the change in the law by permitting themselves, through a thousand quotidian acts, to grow more attached to their families. And as a consequence, they will find themselves less ready to leave them. (I have to interject here and say it is EXTREMELY unfortunate the authors choose to omit the fact that most divorces are initiated by women. Research has shown that joint custody states do have lower divorce rates - possibly because both parties take the marriage/divorce/custody more seriously. It is asinine to assert than men will be less likely to leave and completely neglect that women will ALSO be less likely to leave which is of paramount importance considering their recent *affinity* for divorce)

Reducing divorce rates would almost certainly be in the best interests of children. Thirty years ago, before the run-up in divorce rates, liberationist philosophers, both male and female, argued that divorce did not harm children. Indeed, they argued, children might be better off after divorce if the parents have been fighting. But very few people, ideologues apart, still believe that increased divorce levels are benign. Children are surprisingly resilient in getting over parental fights.(50) What children do not get over is divorce.

Children of divorced parents lose more than financial resources.(59) Most no longer have two parents who are actively involved in raising them.(60) The children (particularly if young) may blame themselves for the divorce.(61) If the parents continue to squabble over visitation and finances or who caused the marital dissolution, the children necessarily witness a pathological adult relationship. Even if the separation is peaceful, the custodial parent may be so overwhelmed by the heavy demands of full-time employment and single parenthood that there is simply little energy left for the children. Discipline may be neglected, and the children left largely to their own emotional and intellectual resources.(62) The picture becomes decidedly more complicated if either parent begins a new adult relationship: the children may feel (or even be) rejected for the new romance or a new half-sibling.

The costs of divorce for children have been studied in longitudinal comparisons between children of intact families and those of divorced parents. Short-term studies report that children are confused and depressed, sometimes clinically so.(63) They fare worse in school,(64) have problems in their peer relationships, and are more apt to "act out."(65) Over the longer term, researchers report that the children of divorce are more likely to drop out of school.(66) Girls, especially, are more likely to be promiscuous.(67) Boys are more likely to become delinquents or criminals.(68) Both sexes have a higher rate of marital failure when they grow up.(69)

If children spend more time with their fathers under joint custody, this may benefit them in other ways. In general, two parents are better than one.(71) Fathers will see their children as part of their normal life, and may dispense with the joyless search for "quality time" with them on weekends or vacations.(72) The parents will be better able to perform their complementary roles,(73) and to balance each other's power.(74) They may also more easily serve as exemplars whom the children may emulate as they mature.(75)

Joint custody also formalizes a more normal bond between ex-spouses. The rancor of a divorce may be less bitterly felt and remembered when one knows that a common tie will remain and cannot be ignored. The joint deliberation over the child's future might also reduce the level of acrimony, even from the start.(76) This also will ease the pain of divorce for children.


There is much, much more... Link to the article above to read it in its entirety.

Case Law & Other Constitutionally Related Stuff

This is a link to a site that highlights relevant case law:
THE CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT TO BE A PARENT

And PARENTING AS A FUNDAMENTAL RIGHT

ABA

The ABA website has a search engine where you can come by some interesting and helpful info.

Here is a question I stumbled upon:

How many states allow divorcing parents to have joint legal custody of their children? How many states have a presumption in favor of joint legal custody?

All states permit parents to have joint legal custody of their children after a divorce. As of 1996, 43 states and the District of Columbia have statutes that specifically authorize the courts to order joint custody. (In some states, joint custody is referred to as shared custody.) In the 43 states with joint legal custody statutes, 11 states and the District of Columbia declare a presumption in favor of joint custody, which means that courts are supposed to grant joint custody unless there is proof that joint custody is not in the child's best interest. In addition, eight states declare a presumption in favor of joint custody if both parents agree to it. The remaining 24 states with joint custody statutes make joint custody an explicit option without any presumption for or against joint custody. Seven states do not have joint custody statutes, but courts in those states can use their equitable powers to order joint custody in appropriate circumstances. Joint custody usually is considered appropriate when the parents appear willing to cooperate in raising their children.

And this links to a chart by state

New Truths About Real Men

From the Boston Globe. I am not going to say much about this article except that I think this information you have been presented in a MUCH BETTER fashion.

New truths about real men

By Rosalind C. Barnett and Caryl Rivers January 1, 2005

THE NEWS about men in the year just past was dismal. A high-profile court case saw a husband (Scott Peterson) convicted of murdering his pregnant wife. CEOs at Enron and Worldcom stand accused of defrauding employees and investors. NBA players waded into a crowd, fists flying. Then, to put the icing on this poisonous cake, the Department of Labor reported that the working woman spends twice as much time, on average, as the working man on household chores and care of children.

It gets worse. At home men are seen as lazy slugs and at work are viewed as old-fashioned, kick-butt bosses. In school, boys' verbal abilities lag far behind those of girls. As parents, males are thought to lack parenting abilities. Expanding paternity leave is pointless, since males are programmed to have little emotional attachment to their kids.

Males lack empathy with others. If a friend approaches them to talk about problems, they change the subject or make a joke. In relationships they don't have a clue. They are faithless wretches "hard-wired" by their genes to be promiscuous.

Is this picture accurate? Happily, new research shows that it is not. Indeed, real men manage to escape the stereotypes much of the time. For example:

The lazy slug label is unfair. In fact, in dual-earner couples -- the dominant family form in the United States -- men's housework chores and child care have increased steadily since 1977, says the 2003 National Study of the Changing Workforce. The "gender gap" in hours declined by more than 70 percent, from 2.4 hours per day in 1977 to one hour a day in 2002.

Men are also doing more child care. Between 1977 and 2003, employed fathers in dual-earner couples narrowed the gap by 57 percent.

Are men really "command-and-control" types in management style? The most effective manager, it's now believed, is "transformational," one who gains the trust of followers and empowers them to reach their full potential. Psychologist Alice Eagly of Northwestern University found that women managers were indeed more "transformational" than men. But the difference was very small: 52.5 percent of females and 47.5 percent of males.

Do boys lack the "natural" verbal skills of girls? An analysis by psychologists Janet Hyde of the University of Wisconsin and Marcia Linn of University of California at Berkeley found the difference between boys and girls was trivial. Boys overall don't suffer from an inability to speak and write.

Do men lack a natural ability to parent young children the way women do? No. And when men are the primary caretakers of young children, they "mother" in the same way women do, reports North Carolina State sociologist Barbara Risman. And for the first time, fathers now spend more time with their kids than on their own pursuits and pleasures, reported the US National Study of the Changing Workplace in 2002.

Do men duck and run when others approach them with problems? In fact, a 2004 study of "troubles talk" finds that both men and women largely provide support by giving advice and expressing sympathy.

Are men impelled by their genes to be natural rovers? Psychologists Kay Bussey of Macquarie University and Albert Bandura of Stanford found that most males mate monogamously. "If prolific, uncommitted sexuality is a male biological imperative," the researchers write, "it must be a fairly infirm one that can be easily overridden by psychosocial forces."

In terms of fidelity, men and women are quite similar. In 2002, the National Opinion Research Center at the University of Chicago reports, 15 percent of women said they cheated, while the number for men was 22 percent. It's time to jettison the idea that males are clueless oafs who come from the planet Mars. Men, like women, are perfectly able to be people-oriented leaders, caring parents, good listeners, and true friends in time of need.

Rosalind C. Barnett is director of the Community, Families and Work program at Brandeis University. Caryl Rivers is a professor of journalism at Boston University. They are the authors of "Same Difference: How Gender Myths Are Hurting Our Relationships, Our Children, and Our Jobs."

Standard of Living After Divorce

There has been a widely circulated (though completely erroneous) statistic that says after a divorce women suffered from a 73% decrease in standard of living while men enjoyed a 43% increase in their standard of living. We all have Lenore Weitzman and her book The Divorce Revolution to thank for this nugget.

Even though years ago this discrepancy was found to be due to a computer error - efforts are still being made to debunk this assertion. For example (source info here) David Popenoe (a feminist masquerading as a impartial proponent of marriage and fatherhood - author of (among others) Life Without Father: Compelling New Evidence that Fatherhood and Marriage are Indispensable for the Good of Children and Society - sounds good, right? Think again) attempts to clarify the issue like this:

5. Myth: Following divorce, the woman's standard of living plummets by 73 percent while that of the man's improves by 42 percent.

Fact: This dramatic inequity, one of the most widely publicized statistics from the social sciences, was later found to be based on a faulty calculation. A reanalysis of the data determined that the woman's loss was 27 percent while the man's gain was 10 percent. Irrespective of the magnitude of the differences, the gender gap is real and seems not to have narrowed much in recent decades.

Unfortunately, even that information looks to be incorrect, due largely in part to using an extremely small and unrepresentative sample of people.

Lies, Damned Lies, and Lenore Weitzman takes a very comprehensive look at this entire issue. From a sample of roughly 7,500 people (compared to Weitzman's > 300 sample), "According to their data, women in the first year after divorce experience on average a 22 percent decline in family income, with professional women's family incomes declining the least (12 percent) and unskilled laborers declining the most (30 percent). Instead of the 42 percent increase reported by Weitzman or the more common 10 percent figure, the data indicated an average 10 percent decrease in income, with professional men experiencing a decline of 8 percent and less-educated workers a drop of 19 percent."

Weitzman touted this finding all over the country, all while refusing to allow anyone to inspect her data. "Her figures were cited in over 170 newspaper and magazine articles, 350 social science articles, 250 law review articles, 24 state appellate and supreme court cases, and one U.S. Supreme Court decision. The American Sociological Association awarded The Divorce Revolution its 1986 Book Award for "Distinguished Contribution to Scholarship." Weitzman repeated the statistic when she testified before the U.S. Congress, and legislatures across the nation revisited their divorce laws in response to her claims. (Weitzman herself takes credit for influencing 14 laws in California alone.) The attention culminated with the statistic's appearance in President Clinton's 1996 budget proposal."

The article goes on to highlight other "discrepancies" in Weitzman's data - very interesting read - and extremely depressing all at the same time. Most frightening that these stats were cited so widely and used as justification for increased child support.

As an aside, David Popenoe also wrote this in the article linked above:

10. Myth: It is usually men who initiate divorce proceedings.

Fact: Two-thirds of all divorces are initiated by women. One recent study found that many of the reasons for this have to do with the nature of our divorce laws. For example, in most states women have a good chance of receiving custody of their children. Because women more strongly want to keep their children with them, in states where there is a presumption of shared custody with the husband the percentage of women who initiate divorces is much lower. Also, the higher rate of women initiators is probably due to the fact that men are more likely to be "badly behaved." Husbands, for example, are more likely than wives to have problems with drinking, drug abuse, and infidelity.

Although Popenoe is presenting factual information about divorce initiation - and just for a second you think he might do the right thing by talking family courts to task - he then reverts back to the same feminist BS. What facts does Mr. Popenoe have to demonstrate that mothers "more strongly" want to keep their children with them or that fathers are more prone to "bad behavior." If he has any, he certainly did not cite it. I am not sure how you qualify "strong feelings to keep your child with you." When I read men who write about divorce in this fashion I always have the same thought- God help them if their wives ever decided to split.

Child Custody Case Law

This is a link to a site that lists a lot of relevant cases for fathers currently fighting custody battles, particularly if you are pro se. Please read the Editor's Note carefully...

FalseAllegations.com

Marriage No-Shows

In line with a previous post about men on a "marriage strike" this article further cements the idea that men are in fact staying away from marital vows in ever increasing numbers.

"Among those men, 53% said they were not interested in getting married anytime soon -- the marriage delayers. That figure alone is cause for concern.

But this is the statistic that every American who wants to strengthen and protect marriage should be worried about: 22% of the men said they had absolutely no interest in finding their Truly Beloved. The report described these guys as hardcore marriage avoiders."

The reasons for this "marriage avoidance" should be obvious to all of us. An unbalanced family court system, potential financial destruction and disproportionate custody arrangements should scare any person half to death. However, these are far more often issues faced by divorcing men.

The entire article is available at intellectualconservative.com

Feminist Agenda

This is an article that was adapted from a book published in 1994. That is my caveat - this is an old article. Nonetheless, it is an interesting look at some of the ways feminist organizations and causes have used "statistics." The New Mythology - Figuring Out Feminism

Joint Custody Legislation in the US

This page (courtesy of the CRC) provides each states statutes concerning joint custody. gocrc.com

Statistics

This is from the ANCPR page and although it is under the heading Statistics supporting Equal Parenting, it is more statistics on why fathers are important. Obviously they are not one in the same but definitely related.

Fact Sheet

This is a fact sheet put out by Ohio State University concerning single, custodial fathers. FactSheet

Same site, more numbers: Fatherlessness 1 and Fatherlessness 2

Statistics!

When I began this horrendous journey, the first thing I looked for were statistics. I wanted to know how many mothers had physical custody, fathers had physical custody, visitation schedules, effects of divorce....

I think when we look for statistics we are looking for affirmation. I hardly ever search for statistics anymore as I realize how skewed and self-serving they can be to both sides of an issue.

However, I understand the need to see some hard numbers, so without further ado... Child Custody Statistics (courtesy of childrensjustice.org)

Be aware: these statistics are used to bolster a father's case. Feel free to send your feelings, comments or hate mail about these numbers and I will gladly post your thoughts as long as they are appropriate. (I reserve the right to censor any material to maintain this site's accessibility for all)