According to the Media, Dads Are Dolts
In April, the BBC filmed a reality show in which the women of Harby, Nottinghamshire were sent on a week’s vacation. The men were left to care for the homes and children. In "Housework? Men do it better", the Telegraph’s Jemima Lewis writes "Clearly, the BBC was hoping for anarchy: the men would prove comically inept housekeepers, the children would starve and run wild, village life would splutter to a halt." The BBC would have loved that.
The media seems bent on portraying fathers, (and men in general), as woefully inept, incompetent buffoons. This depiction appears in "family" shows like "Everybody Loves Raymond", "According to Jim" and "Still Standing". Men are also depicted badly in advertising. There used to be a Verizon commercial in which the wife ordered her husband to stop helping their daughter with her homework. The implication was that the dad was not smart enough to perform that chore. The Purell hand sanitizer "Can’t Touch This" commercial depicts a man leaving a restroom without washing his hands and a man sneezing on the handle of a shopping cart at the supermarket. Basically, the ad depicts men as unhygienic, bacteria ridden and inconsiderate. The print media and academia are no better. In her column, "X-celling Over Men", Maureen Dowd quoted Dr. David Page of the Whitehead Institute for Biomedical Research who gave the following comments about the Y chromosome: "The Y wants to maintain himself but doesn’t know how. He’s falling apart like the guy who can’t manage to get a doctor’s appointment or can’t clean the house or apartment unless his wife does it."
Where does that stereotype come from? It may come from traditional roles of spouses in which wives were responsible for childcare and housecleaning. It may come from the fact that some married men lack the desire to do those jobs. It doesn’t completely explain the stereotype: Not being required to do certain tasks or not wanting to perform them should not be confused with the inability to do those things well.
According to the Telegraph article about the BBC reality show, the men managed to keep their homes clean, take their children to and from school and feed themselves, the kids and the pets. Additionally, the men fenced in a playing field, made cakes for their wives and put on a feast with musical entertainment for the women’s return. None of that should be a surprise. Until I was about seven, my father worked days and my mother worked nights. My father took care of my brother and me while Mom was at work. He did the dishes, packed school lunches, saw that homework was done, played with us and made sure that we bathed and brushed our teeth before bed. No horrendous, (or even minor), disasters occurred while Dad was in charge. As an adult, I know some single fathers. Their houses aren’t filthy nor are their children unsupervised, malnourished waifs in mismatched clothing. Although they would prefer to be part of two parent families, each single father I have met has done a good job of managing a home and caring for his children. Most men do an admirable job of juggling schedules and caring for their children, homes and yards.
The last thing the media or society should do is ridicule men or their parenting skills. Researchers at the University of Maryland School of Medicine and University of Maryland, Baltimore County did a study of the effects of parental involvement on three year olds. The study demonstrated that children whose fathers were actively involved in parenting had better cognitive and language skills and fewer behavioral problems. According to Debbie Wilburn’s August 18, 2004 article, "Be An Active Father", when fathers are actively involved in their children’s lives, it reduces the chances of youth suicide, the likelihood of juvenile delinquency and adult criminality, and the likelihood of early sexual activity in both boys and girls. According to that article, active involvement of fathers increases children’s chances for academic success, provides guidance and discipline, provides a sense of physical and emotional security, teaches life skills and promotes a healthy gender identity for children of both sexes.
In light of those positive results of fathers’ involvement with their children, the media and society should work to portray men and fathers positively. Depicting men as inept dolts denigrates fathers in the eyes of impressionable children. Isn’t there a possibility that such depictions undermine the efforts of fathers to help their children become strong, capable, moral adults? That would be a disservice to our next generation.
Copyright Eva Ellsworth, 05/15/05, All rights reserved
The media seems bent on portraying fathers, (and men in general), as woefully inept, incompetent buffoons. This depiction appears in "family" shows like "Everybody Loves Raymond", "According to Jim" and "Still Standing". Men are also depicted badly in advertising. There used to be a Verizon commercial in which the wife ordered her husband to stop helping their daughter with her homework. The implication was that the dad was not smart enough to perform that chore. The Purell hand sanitizer "Can’t Touch This" commercial depicts a man leaving a restroom without washing his hands and a man sneezing on the handle of a shopping cart at the supermarket. Basically, the ad depicts men as unhygienic, bacteria ridden and inconsiderate. The print media and academia are no better. In her column, "X-celling Over Men", Maureen Dowd quoted Dr. David Page of the Whitehead Institute for Biomedical Research who gave the following comments about the Y chromosome: "The Y wants to maintain himself but doesn’t know how. He’s falling apart like the guy who can’t manage to get a doctor’s appointment or can’t clean the house or apartment unless his wife does it."
Where does that stereotype come from? It may come from traditional roles of spouses in which wives were responsible for childcare and housecleaning. It may come from the fact that some married men lack the desire to do those jobs. It doesn’t completely explain the stereotype: Not being required to do certain tasks or not wanting to perform them should not be confused with the inability to do those things well.
According to the Telegraph article about the BBC reality show, the men managed to keep their homes clean, take their children to and from school and feed themselves, the kids and the pets. Additionally, the men fenced in a playing field, made cakes for their wives and put on a feast with musical entertainment for the women’s return. None of that should be a surprise. Until I was about seven, my father worked days and my mother worked nights. My father took care of my brother and me while Mom was at work. He did the dishes, packed school lunches, saw that homework was done, played with us and made sure that we bathed and brushed our teeth before bed. No horrendous, (or even minor), disasters occurred while Dad was in charge. As an adult, I know some single fathers. Their houses aren’t filthy nor are their children unsupervised, malnourished waifs in mismatched clothing. Although they would prefer to be part of two parent families, each single father I have met has done a good job of managing a home and caring for his children. Most men do an admirable job of juggling schedules and caring for their children, homes and yards.
The last thing the media or society should do is ridicule men or their parenting skills. Researchers at the University of Maryland School of Medicine and University of Maryland, Baltimore County did a study of the effects of parental involvement on three year olds. The study demonstrated that children whose fathers were actively involved in parenting had better cognitive and language skills and fewer behavioral problems. According to Debbie Wilburn’s August 18, 2004 article, "Be An Active Father", when fathers are actively involved in their children’s lives, it reduces the chances of youth suicide, the likelihood of juvenile delinquency and adult criminality, and the likelihood of early sexual activity in both boys and girls. According to that article, active involvement of fathers increases children’s chances for academic success, provides guidance and discipline, provides a sense of physical and emotional security, teaches life skills and promotes a healthy gender identity for children of both sexes.
In light of those positive results of fathers’ involvement with their children, the media and society should work to portray men and fathers positively. Depicting men as inept dolts denigrates fathers in the eyes of impressionable children. Isn’t there a possibility that such depictions undermine the efforts of fathers to help their children become strong, capable, moral adults? That would be a disservice to our next generation.
Copyright Eva Ellsworth, 05/15/05, All rights reserved
4 Comments:
Sadly the truth is that the Media is part of the Lace Curtain of censorship that is waging a war against Straight Men and Fathers. They are supported by Advertising Revenues that we the Male Enemy is expected to financially support. Guess what I won't. And I also won't watch your anti-Male anti-Family garbage.
I agree with your article, Eva. I believe the media is interested in portraying men as incompetent fathers because this eliminates or decreases the need for fathers and thus gives single mothers more power and status. It is part of the culture war feminists are waging against the family and the traditional role of men.
We are dolts...until something needs to be paid for. Then we're the soft-lit Lord Protectors...until the reciept changes hands.
blame the feminists first and then all women in America generally. The stated goal of feminism is the destruction of the nuclear family. And women tacitly endorse this by calling themselves feminists, even if they are not the man-hating variety, because they are endorsing an idealogy of hate bent on stripping men of their rights.
Blame also the vast majority of women that do nothing to fight this hatred of men that is being spread. Blame the hit series 'Desperate Housewives' and it's millions of female viewers. This shows advertisers that male hatred, male ridicule, and the emasculation of men has a big market to sell to. Hence, the commercials and TV shows that attack men.
It is ALL of you American women who are to blame.
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