Banned for Your Safety
According to the BBC, a research team from West Middlesex University Hospital published a study calling for a ban on the public availability of long, pointed kitchen knives. The research involved consulting "10 chefs from around the UK." These chefs felt such knives have little practical value in the kitchen. According to the article, a Home Office spokesman stated that the law prohibits possession of knives with blades greater than three inches long in public places. The spokesman said, "An individual has to demonstrate that he had good reason to possess a knife, for example for fishing, other sporting purposes or as part of his profession (e.g. a chef) in a public place." How is that for a touch of irony?
It is funny how a study with sample of 10 can be considered "scientific." As for taking British chefs seriously, we all know the British are famous for their cooking. My local phone book included advertisements for restaurants featuring American, Caribbean, Chinese, French, German, Greek, Indian, Italian, Japanese, Korean, Lebanese, Mexican, Pakistani, Persian, Salvadoran, Thai and Vietnamese cuisine, but there were none featuring cuisine from any of the British Isles. Even if such knives are useless to all chefs, not just British ones, they are handy in less affluent kitchens. A long, pointed knife is perfect for slicing steaks off of a chuck roast and for tenderizing a Swiss steak.
If long knives are to be banned, shouldn’t all potential weapons be banned? People could slit others’ throats with shorter knives, so those should be banned. Other kitchen utensils such as ice picks and shish-ke-bab skewers could be used as weapons and should be eliminated. Stabbing isn’t the only way to injure or kill people. Every year people are hurt or killed by blunt force trauma. Therefore, heavy cast-iron skillets must also be banned.
Office supplies could also be used as weapons. Letter openers should be banned, as should those old fashioned, long, pointed metal spindles for holding papers. Other office supplies such as large paper weights, heavy three-hole punches and hefty hard cover books must also be eliminated since those can be used to smash someone over the head.
Furniture and certain household items should be prohibited, too. Chairs, lamps, large vases, certain metal modern art sculpture and statues can all be slammed into a person’s skull.
Garages and workshops include a vast array of potential weapons. Screwdrivers and awls can become stabbing implements. Hammers and tire-irons can also be weapons. People could cut each other with saws. Chainsaws have got to go. Remember Texas Chainsaw Massacre? With Lizzie Borden in mind, axes must be banned. No one will need to cut up trees that have fallen into roadways anymore because motor vehicles must be eliminated so no one can run over anyone. (Additionally trees are sacred and people should walk or bicycle - or crawl when exhausted from walking and biking - to their destinations in order to protect our planet by saving fuel.)
Baseball bats, golf clubs and other sporting goods should be banned. Every year people are beaten up with baseball bats.
Dogs must also be eliminated because they can be trained to attack. Progress has been made in that area because some jurisdictions have already banned specific breeds.
Items with which a person could be strangled must be banned. The list includes neckties, pantyhose, electrical cords, jumper cables and dog leashes; (You won’t need that last item once dogs are banned).
Once those items have been banned, we can safely live in our furniture and appliance free homes and eat our meals sans silverware. Since there is still danger from falls and mishaps, all people should be required to wear Thudguard, (this is a real product), helmets and be wrapped in bubblewrap at all times.
Why worry about a knife ban in the UK? Such laws tend to be adopted in the US. Handguns are banned in the UK. Later, similar gun control legislation was enacted in many states. I realize that stabbing is a serious crime by which some are injured or killed. However, a ban on knives is unlikely to fix the problem. States with strict gun control legislation often have as the same, or higher, crime rates, (adjusted for population), than states without such legislation.
Relinquishing one’s freedoms for a false sense of security is always a bad trade. It brings to mind a Revolutionary War quote I once read. I don’t recall who it was attributed to, but I’ll paraphrase it: "It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees."
Copyright Eva Ellsworth, 05/29/05, all rights reserved
It is funny how a study with sample of 10 can be considered "scientific." As for taking British chefs seriously, we all know the British are famous for their cooking. My local phone book included advertisements for restaurants featuring American, Caribbean, Chinese, French, German, Greek, Indian, Italian, Japanese, Korean, Lebanese, Mexican, Pakistani, Persian, Salvadoran, Thai and Vietnamese cuisine, but there were none featuring cuisine from any of the British Isles. Even if such knives are useless to all chefs, not just British ones, they are handy in less affluent kitchens. A long, pointed knife is perfect for slicing steaks off of a chuck roast and for tenderizing a Swiss steak.
If long knives are to be banned, shouldn’t all potential weapons be banned? People could slit others’ throats with shorter knives, so those should be banned. Other kitchen utensils such as ice picks and shish-ke-bab skewers could be used as weapons and should be eliminated. Stabbing isn’t the only way to injure or kill people. Every year people are hurt or killed by blunt force trauma. Therefore, heavy cast-iron skillets must also be banned.
Office supplies could also be used as weapons. Letter openers should be banned, as should those old fashioned, long, pointed metal spindles for holding papers. Other office supplies such as large paper weights, heavy three-hole punches and hefty hard cover books must also be eliminated since those can be used to smash someone over the head.
Furniture and certain household items should be prohibited, too. Chairs, lamps, large vases, certain metal modern art sculpture and statues can all be slammed into a person’s skull.
Garages and workshops include a vast array of potential weapons. Screwdrivers and awls can become stabbing implements. Hammers and tire-irons can also be weapons. People could cut each other with saws. Chainsaws have got to go. Remember Texas Chainsaw Massacre? With Lizzie Borden in mind, axes must be banned. No one will need to cut up trees that have fallen into roadways anymore because motor vehicles must be eliminated so no one can run over anyone. (Additionally trees are sacred and people should walk or bicycle - or crawl when exhausted from walking and biking - to their destinations in order to protect our planet by saving fuel.)
Baseball bats, golf clubs and other sporting goods should be banned. Every year people are beaten up with baseball bats.
Dogs must also be eliminated because they can be trained to attack. Progress has been made in that area because some jurisdictions have already banned specific breeds.
Items with which a person could be strangled must be banned. The list includes neckties, pantyhose, electrical cords, jumper cables and dog leashes; (You won’t need that last item once dogs are banned).
Once those items have been banned, we can safely live in our furniture and appliance free homes and eat our meals sans silverware. Since there is still danger from falls and mishaps, all people should be required to wear Thudguard, (this is a real product), helmets and be wrapped in bubblewrap at all times.
Why worry about a knife ban in the UK? Such laws tend to be adopted in the US. Handguns are banned in the UK. Later, similar gun control legislation was enacted in many states. I realize that stabbing is a serious crime by which some are injured or killed. However, a ban on knives is unlikely to fix the problem. States with strict gun control legislation often have as the same, or higher, crime rates, (adjusted for population), than states without such legislation.
Relinquishing one’s freedoms for a false sense of security is always a bad trade. It brings to mind a Revolutionary War quote I once read. I don’t recall who it was attributed to, but I’ll paraphrase it: "It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees."
Copyright Eva Ellsworth, 05/29/05, all rights reserved
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