Are All Men Suspects?

Recently, it was revealed that Qantas and Air New Zealand have policies prohibiting adult male passengers from being seated next to unaccompanied minors on flights. Men assigned seats next to minors traveling alone were asked by flight personnel to switch seats with women. Such a policy assumes all males are potential child molesters. It also takes fear of that possibility to an extreme in an atmosphere in which a passenger can draw attention from others simply by sneezing.

Learning of that policy makes one think about stereotypes regarding physical and sexual abuse of children, domestic violence and rape. When one hears about sexual abuse of children and teens, one often assumes the perpetrator is male. Recent cases demonstrate that assumption isn’t fair. In November, seven women, including four teachers, were charged or sentenced for having sex with boys. According to Robert Schoop, author of Sexual Exploitation in Schools: How to Spot It and Stop It, at least 25 cases in the past 18 months involved female teachers molesting students. A U.S. Department of Education report released in June 2004 revealed that 20% of respondents reported verbal or physical sexual misconduct by female teachers or aides. Sexual abuse of minors isn’t a “guy thing,” but that stereotype may affect sentencing: Women who molest children or teenagers often receive less jail time than men do for the same offenses. Yet, the children are just as badly harmed regardless of the sex of the offender. Victimized boys are likely to experience depression, anxiety and problems developing age-appropriate relationships.

The media also portrays domestic violence as male perpetrated. For example, the PBS program, “Breaking the Silence: Children’s Stories,” was presented as having no preconceived notions, yet it relied primarily on stories from women and children. It also included footage from a Battered Women’s Custody Conference, but none from fathers’ groups. While most media portrayals depict abuse by men, Department of Justice statistics indicate that 60% of the perpetrators of domestic violence against children are women.

Many media stories about domestic violence involve a husband or boyfriend abusing his wife or girlfriend. According to the CDC website, “a national study found that 29% of women and 22% of men had experienced physical, sexual or psychological intimate partner violence during their lifetime.” 22% is more than one in five men. The CDC includes homosexual relationships in this data, but it is highly unlikely that all or most of that 22% were abused by male partners. According to Melanie Phillips’ November 2000 Sunday Times (UK) article, “Man beaters behind closed doors,” a 1996 British Crime Survey reported an equal percentage of men and women, (4.2%), said that they had been physically assaulted by a spouse or lover in the past year. Phillips’ article also reports data compiled from approximately 100 British and American studies by John Archer of the International Society for Research on Aggression in which 29% of female college students reported having initiated assaults on male companions. Crime statistics tell a different story because many men do not report violence against them by women. When men do report such incidents, police and courts often assume that the men were the instigators. Frequent media depictions of men as abusers in news, tabloid t.v and dramas have led court systems to require a low burden of proof when women make allegations of abuse in divorce and custody cases.

The burden of proof has also shifted in cases of date rape, sometimes to the point at which the man must demonstrate that he took “reasonable steps” to make sure the woman consented. Despite media attention and PR campaigns by various organizations, society is questioning the authenticity of some date rape claims. In an Amnesty International survey in Britain, 20% to 34% of respondents believed a woman was partially or totally responsible for being raped if she acted flirtatiously, dressed provocatively, was intoxicated, had many sexual partners or failed to clearly say “no.” The head of Amnesty International UK said, “the government must launch a new drive to counteract this sexist ‘blame culture.’” Rather than establishing a “blame culture,” society may be simply making a distinction between forcible rape, an inexcusable act, and date rape, often a “he said/she said” situation. The idea that a woman’s dress or behavior may imply consent isn’t unreasonable. It also isn’t new. Young women were once taught not to drink to the point at which their judgement was impaired. They were also taught not to lead men on if they had no intent of fulfilling implied promises. If a woman doesn’t want sex, she needs to say so rather than allowing a man to initiate sex with her while expecting him to be mind reader. Regretting sex doesn’t make it rape.

Child molestation, physical abuse and rape are heinous crimes. Yet, media emphasis has not reduced the incidence of these crimes. It has made people fearful and gives the impression that men are violent creatures poised to explode and exploit. The Qantas and Air New Zealand seating policies are signs of a culture of suspicion.

Copyright Eva Ellsworth, 12/11/05, all rights reserved