Just got done reading Regime Libertarians by Llewellyn H. Rockwell, Jr. Oh. My. God.

Yet another example of why Libertarians, of which I am, sad to say, one of, consistantly manage to snatch political irrelevancy from the jaws of viability. Much as I love Liberty, and libertarianism, it gets more and more difficult at times to keep from banging my head against the wall at the bullheaded insistance there is on being opposed to anything that any other party in power tends to do. I remember when Klinton was in power, the folks at Lew Rockwell painted him with three sixes on his forehead. Now the same thing with Bush. It's starting to sound knee-jerk, folks. Give it a rest. Guys, gals, humanoids - the same hysterical nuttiness is making the Democrats more and more of a fringe group. Wake up, look around, and learn a little. Three lessons: The Libertarian party is a political party. Politics is the art of the possible. And all political power derives from the barrel of a gun. Remember these, there will be a test later, and they will be important later.

Forget them at your peril. This is why the Libertarian party is more and more a mental masturbation society each and every day. Great ideas. And utterly clueless as to how they may be implemented. No, by all means, let's not take the necessary steps. That would be statist. (For those not familiar with Libertarian Jargon, "statist" is the universal epithet in Libertarian circles. It's kind of like "Nazi" to everyone else, and like Nazi, it becomes more and more meaningless every time it gets uttered.) Let's instead scrunch our eyes tight, stick our fingers in our ears, and wish really, really hard. Then we can magically teleport to where we want to be instead of doing actual work to get there. And even better, if someone takes a step towards a freer society, let's kick his legs out from under him rather than have the ideals and purity profaned by anything resembling an interaction with real life. Who knows, while we are busy acting like a bunch of goddamn crabs in a bucket, the Republicrats can carry us all merrily to hell under an ever bloated juggernaut of bureaucracy and the Nanny State.

The anarcho-capitalists - well, that's not quite accurate. The ANARCHIST PURISTS who have taken over the thrust of Libertarianism these days are embodied in no purer form than can be found with Lew Rockwell and his merry band of ivory tower theoreticians. (Cue the "My Little Pony" theme. Or something sappy that puts one in the mind of sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows.) They envision a borderless world, with each and every person working their hardest, and enjoying bounty, prosperity, and wealth untold. No war. No disagreement. No courts, no states, nothing but Happy Little Capitalists passing money, money, money around. Every payday, they go to the Church of St. Ayn of the Holy Shrugging, and the blessings are poured upon them by a magic cash register. And all is harmonious, and simply wonderful. La-la-la, la-la, la-la-de-dah-de-dah!

And I'm sure I'm sixteen kinds of rat bastard for questioning the fantasy. God alone knows how many kinds of heretic I am, if even He can count that high. Personally, I think they have been eating too many of the brownies brought by another whack-job branch of the party, but they are another rant.

Now, on to the lessons. First, Libertarianism is a political movement, and a political party, ostensibly descended from the philosophies of Thomas Jefferson, and dedicated to the principles that the government which governs best, governs least, and the highest law is to mind your own business and keep your hands to yourself. One of the core maxims is that "If government is the answer, it's likely a stupid question has been asked." Note the "likely." Not "invariably." There is an important difference.

Not everyone agrees with us, and despite many of us being frustrated at mere mortals being unable to grasp these obvious and self-evident truths, it is reality. This group of "not everybody" is in fact the vast and overwhelming majority of people. Most will agree with the laudable ideals, but either cannot grasp, or fear, the results of them being enacted. This is because there is a minority, though a noteworthy and significant one, of people who are plain schmucks and like to work any system they can. Another minority which must be contended with is the assbags who are just a waste of oxygen. This includes criminals, feminists, socialists, al Qaeda, and a host of other anti-freedom knuckle draggers and mouth breathers. To combat these undesireables, and others unspecified for brevity's sake, governments have been enacted, because most people are in fact what we Libertarians unharitably call sheeple - timid bunnies to afraid to conduct their own affairs. They crave structure and order, and the protection a societal framework provides. It's not entirely unreasonable (oh, put the crucifix away, for pity's sake), as people who must live in close proximity to each other are well served by common social boundaries, and it is far better they be codified and objective. Some people like to call these things "Laws," and a society so ordered the "Rule of Law."

A problem with dealing with this is that one of Libertarianism's chief tenets is a prohibition against the initiation of force. Unfortunately the doctrinaire zealots have twisted this to mean that you can't fire back until you are shot at. Many of them extend this to mean you can't fire back until blood flows. And some even consider it not allowable until it is your own blood flowing. Rifles merely being loaded, rounds chambered, and aim being taken to the chants of "Ima bust a cap in yo ass!" are right out. Some call this "stupidity." (Yeah, I'd be among this group.) And sadly, some will rush forward to the enemy lines and try to sell bullets during any cease fires. This would be the Rockwell Gang. This means the asshats, who we all would be better off if they were converted to situation Tango Uniform (Toes Up, also known as dead, deceased, crossed the River Jordan, sent to their eternal reward, at room temperature - see a pattern yet?), for the betterment of society, before they kill the rest of us, escape their just desserts under dogmatic Libertarian theory (This would be at this time Islamofascist terrorists). Yes, own a gun. Don't ever freakin' USE the blasted thing to accomplish diddley, but exercise your freedom to have it. It looks really cool on the wall, and makes you a tough guy who won't take any crap off anyone.(tm)

Okay, like it or not, even if we grant government is not a necessary evil, it is most assuredly an unavoidable one, the proverbial excrement sandwich. The Libertarian party started out as an exercise in eating this excrement sandwich. Suck it up, take a bite, and pass it on. Lew Rockwell's BVDs got in a wad because the Libertarian Party, in an uncharacteristic attack of clarity of thought, looked reality square in the eyes and took a bite. Needless to say this is treason and betrayal. God forbid Libertarians deal with what is, and make the best of a situation FUBARed like a soup sandwich. Fifty Lashes with a hardbound copy of "The Complete Works of Ayn Rand." Back to being a complete political chowderhead, you. The nerve.

Look, if you have a political party, it means you acknowledge some legitimacy to government. Even the Holy Father Thomas Jefferson was not only part of the system, but was one of its founders and chief executives. There has to be something to it, then, merely being a government is not evidence of evil. It is dangerous, yes. George Washington warned us of its danger. “Government is not reason; it is not eloquence. It is force ... Like fire, it is a dangerous servant and a fearsome master.” This is why the price of Liberty is perpetual vigilance, to paraphrase another great patriot. To keep the fire from getting out of control, so to speak. To this end, a constitution was prepared, cautiously limiting the government to a handful of functions, and assigning it a bare minimum of perogatives necessary to perform those functions with any resonable efficiency. (We also had one which didn't give the government the cojones to do it. It was called "The Articles of Confederation." It didn't work out real well.) This is minarchism - small government, the minimum necessary. Anarchism, on the other hand is "no Government." It logically follows that a political party of anarchists is an oxymoron. Oddly, anarchists hate minarchists, it seems, more than they do totalitarians. Hence, the Anarchist fifth column in the LP spends more time undercutting the LP than they do anything else.

I've said it before, I will say it again. And I will say it now. The single best thing the Libertarian party could do at this moment is to round up the anarchists, and toss them out, right briskly, square on their ear. They are an albatross. Hasta la Vista, baby. Sayonara. Don't let the door hit ya in the tuchis on the way out.

We have borders for two reasons. First, it is the right of anyone who doesn't want to live free to live like a bunch of unenlightened primitives, so long as they do it in their yard. Second, it is butt-stupid to let these moonbats come in and subvert your society when they point blank refuse to take a stake in it. By all means, sell them your produce at the door, but don't let them into your garden. They'll trample your corn down and walk on your begonias every time.

With a political party comes politics. Now while everyone is doing the obligatory nose-holding and utterances of "eeeeew!" it's another painful and ugly truth. It's the people don't agree with you part. If you don't want to be a dictator, and become that which you hate, you must negotiate with them, no matter how much of a douche bag they are, and achieve what is possible through democratic forms. This is a blind and blinkered spot in many Libertarians. It makes them twitch, and gives them tics, and attacks of Tourette's syndrome. Show ID to buy a gun? Might as well repeal the second amendment. Anything less than pure and unadulterated liberty all around, and unrestricted behavior, is just identical to living under a totalitarian state. Small steps? Incrementalism? Perish The Thought! Total victory, or get in a perfect snit and stalk away. Don't participate. Hell no! Lends legitimacy to the system, and by God, even if we do leave it in the hands of the fascists, who come round at midnight and haul us off, we may be dead, but we are dead right! Hallelujah, and praise Jesus! (That is, provided you aren't of another nutcase branch of Libertarianism which believes that voluntary association with a church is the only illegitimate voluntary association. Rand forbid we ackowledge any g_d - or is it "gawd" this week? I can't remember, but I know we use lowercase to demonstrate our total lack of respect - higher than our own hedonistic impulses and immediate, instant, gratification.)

The ugliest and inescapable truth is that political power comes from the barrel of a gun. Yes, Mao said this, and he was a communist bastard, but even a broken clock is right twice a day. Radical Libertarians will usually go into a song and dance at this point about voluntaryianism, and privately contracted police and courts, and claim it has never been tried. Sorry, in fact, it has. Chiefs and Judges (They filled both roles) Bonanno, Genovese, Gambino, Luchese, and Profaci ran New York for years offering privately contracted protection. It wasn't pretty. And we have a term for people who insist on doing the same stupid thing again and again and expecting a different result. This is what happens when one finds something distasteful and decides not to dirty their hands with the unpleasant work. The Romans did that with the barbarian Auxilarae when they found guarding the empire to be tedious and beneath them. And we know how that turned out, too. The the question is, who do you want holding the gun - you or the barbarians?

Well, more proof that the only thing some people learn from history is that we never learn from history.

Update:

Holy Smokes. I've been trackbacked by John Henke at Q&O, who has his own ideas on it too.

Nice to see that Neo-Libertarian thought is gaining such widespread traction. We may be able to resurrect this party yet.