ShopGirl VS. ShopBoy

By K Marsala

Between the battle of the sexes, it has been reported that women know how to shop and men do not have a clue. Women, with their plastic cards in hand, appear to be able to out shop their boyfriends and husbands, and as consumers they seemed to have mastered the ability of always buying that ‘perfect gift’ for someone.

With very little polling data or scientific investigation, how can such claims be made? Is the realm of procuring items only relegated to the fairer sex or is there more to men’s abilities to accomplish the feat of shopping than women think? According to some girlfriends and wives, their male partners are totally inept consumers. They feel that men in general cannot shop and do not even desire to understand how to shop.

Michelle Courtright Bjork owner of Romeo Shops- http://www.romeoshops.com- whose slogan is- “…because guys can’t shop”, has designed a shopping website set up to help the male pick, compare, purchase and even wrap his chosen gift for his lovely lady. Due to her quippy slogan though she has received all kinds of hate mail because people are claiming that she is reinforcing incorrect stereotypes of men. Now, I do not think Michelle is reinforcing any incorrect or negative stereotypes, perhaps we have all just become over sensitive politically correct boobs, her slogan is clever, eye catching and funny. After talking to her, I feel she is playing a bit tongue in cheek and using her business smarts to offer a way for busy men to shop easily for their women. Besides why should the slogan upset anyone… chances are the same people who are offended by Romeo Shops slogan think Homer Simpson is a riot… and doh… he is. Homer could not find his way around a Victoria’s Secret store to purchase Marge a thong unless a donut was tied to it…

One analysis conducted by marketing professor, Katherine Harris, of Wellesley's Babson College, has made a study out of "holiday shopping behavior." In an editorial released from TownOnline.com Harris states that, "market research shows that male shoppers want to get in and out of stores quickly." Harris goes on to state that, "Men feel stuck when shopping with women and appreciate a place to sit, wait and even watch TV!” Adding to this Harris stated, “If tagging along, best to steer them to 'man friendly' departments like electronics." Well professor of marketing or not… speaking as a female and for most of my female friends- we want to “get in and out of stores” just as quickly. We as women too feel “stuck” when we have to go shopping for certain items that our male counterparts are thrilled to spend hours searching, comparing, handling, and finally buying. We like to have a place to sit, wait, and even watch TV as well.

Could it be that shopping has nothing to do with gender, but more to do with individual personalities? I happen to love shopping for electronics, and purses all within moments of each other. I have a guy friend who just loves to shop for silk ties and peruse sporting goods stores. We both just like to get in there though, exam, compare prices and quality and leave so we can go and enjoy our new found items. As well, when we shop together we give each other a respectful time limit of hanging out as we each may shop for our own delights- about an hour or so- after that we say, “Hey I am going to go get a coffee and wait for you till you get done.” That way neither of us feels pressured to ‘just hurry up’- we get to sit, relax, and enjoy a Starbucks while waiting on the other shopper.

Perhaps we as women have just thought we were better at shopping and perhaps not all men have reached the zenith of proficiency at abusing their credit cards yet. Lest we forget… women used to think they were the only ones who could cook (Emeril Lagasse), design fashion (Tom Ford), and cut/style hair (Jonathan Antin)… hmmm maybe we had better take a look again.

Men are taking to the idea of shopping and they are shopping smarter, and more expertly than they ever have before. With the advent of women entering the workforce by large numbers certain imbalances were going to be forced to switch and now men have to learn how to shop and many have very well. Not only are they learning but also, they are actually enjoying the hunt, the comparing, and the discovery of pleasure found in pleasing the recipients of their gifts.

Sure, there are still a few Neanderthals dragging their knuckles along the ground and screaming as the beat their hairy chests- “I hate shopping!” but the face of shopping is changing. Men are savvier, and more apt to become quite proficient at whatever challenges we women lay before them. So be careful ladies, your man may just become the next “Diva Maven” of shopping. Moreover, this is one lady who finds a man who is able to shop, cook, design his wardrobe, use a table saw and watch baseball very appealing indeed.

K L Marsala can be reached at: cnuseeme@cox.net
websites: www.right2think.8m.com and www.klmarsala.com

Rosa Parks: Don't Let Her Sitting Be in Vain

by: Kerry L. Marsala

A condition all to familiar in our media of today- our news is copiously overflowing with nothing more than political nit-picking. The bombardment of political folderol snatches the headlines and tragically, a story about the passing of a great individual becomes a forgotten infinitesimal blip of news.I fear that the “mother of the civil rights movement” Rosa Parks, will become nothing more than just another story, a folk tale, or a legend. All societies have their stories of old; we elaborate, and add detail along the way, sadly, though the truth of these pivotal moments quickly is forgotten or at times misused.

I do not want this to happen to a movement sparked by the courage of Rosa Parks.

Rosa Parks was not the first black to refuse giving up her seat, but she was the chosen catalyst to move things forward and in 1955, in the town of Montgomery, Rosa Parks took a stand and made a statement as she “set” her ground.Blacks were not allowed to sit with, across or within the vicinity of whites and it took a woman to stand strong in her sitting to be one of many people to lead the way for all men and women to be treated equally.

As Rosa Parks was arrested, convicted and fined $14.00 she sparked a revolution. Rosa, by sitting and not moving became the instrument that instigated an unsettling movement amongst people of all colors. From that point, no force could argue for segregation, prejudice, or bigotry. The pebble had been dropped upon the waters of freedom and its rippling influence had begun to cause tidal waves of taking a stand against such like. Our behaviors as a nation were wrong and it was time for all lovers of freedom to show the world that America was truly, what she preached herself to be- the land of the free- where all men are created equal.

In Montgomery, blacks comprised approximately 2/3 of the bus riders and they decidedly took matters into their own hands. By peaceful means, blacks found other modes of transportation for the next 381 days, ultimately hitting public transportation where it hurt the most... the fat wallets of the city officials. The boycott ended on Nov. 13, 1956 and the U.S. Supreme Court upheld a lower court ruling that Montgomery's segregated bus service was unconstitutional.

Rosa’s convictions came to her through her faith that all are created equal. In her book entitled “Quiet Strength,” you can begin to understand this woman’s faith. It was Rosa Parks’ unfaltering belief in God that provided the strength to send a message to all who would listen- "Our mistreatment was just not right, and I was tired of it." Thankfully her weariness of injustice kept her sitting right there on that bus seat.To her it was the soul of humankind that was to be respected; loved and cherished… it was not the color of skin, it was not economic or social status, nor was it religious beliefs. Rosa and others, who thought like her, knew prejudice for any reason was wrong; thusly Rosa began a peaceful march to demonstrate the need for change.Rosa and her counterparts, such as Martin Luther King Jr., planted, watered, and nurtured the spreading of the roots of what freedom is for all humankind. Growing the immovable tree of truth that prejudice and bigotry in any form is wrong. Rosa Parks on that day she stayed seated stated that she had a dream… a dream that one day…

“Let us not wallow in the valley of despair, I say to you today, my friends.

And so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal."

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today!I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of "interposition" and "nullification" -- one day right there in Alabama little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight; "and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together" (Isaiah 40:4-5 King James Version of the Holy Bible).

-Martin Luther King Jr. “I Have a Dream” delivered August 1963, at the Lincoln Memorial, Washington D. C.

We all have a dream and in this present time when our world is filled with fighting, turmoil, and genocide, the legacy of what Rosa Parks and her fellow counterparts began must not perish. With injustices occurring upon many continents, within many nations, and within many villages worldwide we need now more than ever to take a seat- an immovable seat- and dare to live the dream. No longer can we turn a blind eye to our brothers fighting brothers, nor our sisters hating sisters… for we are all created in the image of the Almighty. We as a people owe it to the children of today and to the generations of tomorrow, to honor her legacy and give all we can of ourselves in the name of love. I pray that dream will not fade away into the archives of the past, but continue to live on and shine forth brightly in honor of all of those who kept their seat on the bus in a town full of prejudice one afternoon in 1955.