Sunday, November 20, 2005
Find Maureen Dowd a Man!
I've been sitting on the sidelines for the past few weeks, wondering what to say about Maureen Dowd's new book, Are Men Necessary? If you know anything about me, you will understand how much I had to restrain myself from at least commenting on her male-bashing title.
Last night, I watched Tim Russert interview Ms. Dowd for an hour about her book on his weekly program on CNBC. In this exchange, Dowd managed to demean men and women -- by claiming that men, who are useful only for doing heavy lifting, will go the way of the buggy whip, while women, regardless of their levels of education and achievement, can be happy only as passive, '50s-era sex objects. Even Tim Russert was politely incredulous at some of her outlandish pronouncements. Consequently, I have one request: Somebody, please give Maureen Dowd a copy of my book ... and then find her a man!
Dowd, while insisting her book is not autobiographical, admits to having zero understanding of men. This enhances her credibility, of course, in prognosticating their extinction. She reminds me of Andy Rooney, the curmudgeon of 60 Minutes fame, who periodically rants about not comprehending modern technology. For example, he'll point to his trusty, old typewriter as totally adequate for his work and then dismiss as unnecessary any newer authoring tools. Sounds about right.
Maureen reported to Russert that the Y chromosome is headed for extinction ... in 100,000 years. The world will become flooded with and dominated by females. When Russert asked Dowd how women will procreate without men, she explained, with a straight face, that the reigning lesbians will use modern cloning techniques.
Ever quick with quotable soundbites, Ms. Dowd gleefully repeated one of Gloria Steinem's famous aphorisms: "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle." Fortunately, for Maureen and Gloria, Benjamin Franklin -- a man -- discovered electricity, without which their vibrators wouldn't operate. What glorious irony.
To add more fuel to her specious fire, Dowd pointed to the internecine squabbling in the Bush Administration as evidence that men are unsuited for higher office. Please explain, Ms. Dowd. Well, men have become effeminate metrosexuals who are losing their sexuality and power. For example, says she, President Bush ignored Hurricane Katrina because he was too busy cycling to lose seven pounds around his waist. And, she added, like a prima donna, Defense Secretary Rumsfeld frequently bursts into worse histrionics than any woman would. Yet, claims Dowd, Condaleeza Rice never shows any emotion, never cries. Yes, I must admit that, when I watch women crying and catfighting on Donald Trump's show, The Apprentice, my immediate reaction is, These are definitely our future world leaders.
Nothing like a little hypocrisy and contradiction in an interview with a faux feminist. Dowd went on to admit, sheeplishly, that despite being simple, crude neanderthals -- and so unnecessary -- men are still the objects of silly female behavior. To wit, women spend oodles of time shopping for clothes and beauty accessories and also keep men waiting for dates -- just to ensure they are pretty enough to please these men. Dowd admitted to Russert that she always has suffered from a punctuality problem for that very reason.
The duplicity doesn't end there, however. Despite being a highly paid, world-famous journalist, Dowd conceded to having perfected the disingenuous, well-timed reach for her wallet during a date -- just until her consort would insist on paying ... again. And she calls a guy who finances her social life unnecessary? When all the men disappear, I guess Maureen and her ilk will have to pay for their dinners. Imagine that!
If Maureen Dowd were not with the New York Times, would anyone be listening to her inane drivel? Would Russert's producer even book her as a guest? Would I be writing about her on my blog? I think not, on all three accounts. What silliness. Maureen proved nothing, added nothing. She knows that, on many lonely nights, a man is not only necessary, he is critical. Nonsense sells when it comes from the New York Times. Maureen, please find a man and stop whining.
Last night, I watched Tim Russert interview Ms. Dowd for an hour about her book on his weekly program on CNBC. In this exchange, Dowd managed to demean men and women -- by claiming that men, who are useful only for doing heavy lifting, will go the way of the buggy whip, while women, regardless of their levels of education and achievement, can be happy only as passive, '50s-era sex objects. Even Tim Russert was politely incredulous at some of her outlandish pronouncements. Consequently, I have one request: Somebody, please give Maureen Dowd a copy of my book ... and then find her a man!
Dowd, while insisting her book is not autobiographical, admits to having zero understanding of men. This enhances her credibility, of course, in prognosticating their extinction. She reminds me of Andy Rooney, the curmudgeon of 60 Minutes fame, who periodically rants about not comprehending modern technology. For example, he'll point to his trusty, old typewriter as totally adequate for his work and then dismiss as unnecessary any newer authoring tools. Sounds about right.
Maureen reported to Russert that the Y chromosome is headed for extinction ... in 100,000 years. The world will become flooded with and dominated by females. When Russert asked Dowd how women will procreate without men, she explained, with a straight face, that the reigning lesbians will use modern cloning techniques.
Ever quick with quotable soundbites, Ms. Dowd gleefully repeated one of Gloria Steinem's famous aphorisms: "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle." Fortunately, for Maureen and Gloria, Benjamin Franklin -- a man -- discovered electricity, without which their vibrators wouldn't operate. What glorious irony.
To add more fuel to her specious fire, Dowd pointed to the internecine squabbling in the Bush Administration as evidence that men are unsuited for higher office. Please explain, Ms. Dowd. Well, men have become effeminate metrosexuals who are losing their sexuality and power. For example, says she, President Bush ignored Hurricane Katrina because he was too busy cycling to lose seven pounds around his waist. And, she added, like a prima donna, Defense Secretary Rumsfeld frequently bursts into worse histrionics than any woman would. Yet, claims Dowd, Condaleeza Rice never shows any emotion, never cries. Yes, I must admit that, when I watch women crying and catfighting on Donald Trump's show, The Apprentice, my immediate reaction is, These are definitely our future world leaders.
Nothing like a little hypocrisy and contradiction in an interview with a faux feminist. Dowd went on to admit, sheeplishly, that despite being simple, crude neanderthals -- and so unnecessary -- men are still the objects of silly female behavior. To wit, women spend oodles of time shopping for clothes and beauty accessories and also keep men waiting for dates -- just to ensure they are pretty enough to please these men. Dowd admitted to Russert that she always has suffered from a punctuality problem for that very reason.
The duplicity doesn't end there, however. Despite being a highly paid, world-famous journalist, Dowd conceded to having perfected the disingenuous, well-timed reach for her wallet during a date -- just until her consort would insist on paying ... again. And she calls a guy who finances her social life unnecessary? When all the men disappear, I guess Maureen and her ilk will have to pay for their dinners. Imagine that!
If Maureen Dowd were not with the New York Times, would anyone be listening to her inane drivel? Would Russert's producer even book her as a guest? Would I be writing about her on my blog? I think not, on all three accounts. What silliness. Maureen proved nothing, added nothing. She knows that, on many lonely nights, a man is not only necessary, he is critical. Nonsense sells when it comes from the New York Times. Maureen, please find a man and stop whining.
