Great Article on Single Fathers
There’s a great article by Tim Puko in the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review of November 20, 2008. Here’s the link: Now, having said that it’s a great article let me add that of course it begins with a “deadbeat dad.” (Is there a law requiring anything about single fathers to include a deadbeat dad? Or maybe it’s like bowing to the Queen – a requirement that everyone understands.)
And it's worth noting that, although the piece is mostly about single fathers with custody, there's not a word about the moms. Do they pay child support or are they deadbeats? The article doesn't say. Is the concept of a "deadbeat mom" beyond our culture's comprehension? Is her obligation to pay support not important?
On the bright side though, this piece tells the truth about the value of fathers in the lives of children. Significantly, it also tells about programs in the Pittsburgh area to help single fathers deal with the family court and child support systems. It lets people know the realities of single fatherhood and about programs that help fathers learn parenting skills.
It discusses the everyday problems of being a single dad with child custody. And just by discussing those topics, it lets the reader know some of the many obstacles our society places in the way of men trying to play the role of father.
Listen to this father: "I call the doctor's office, I'm calling to find out what happened, and they automatically presume there's a protection-from-abuse order against me or I go into a school and they say, 'Are you allowed to take the child? Let me call the mother.' "
It’s an uplifting and at the same time sobering piece. As one person says “changing the thought barrier” is a major problem, i.e. the pervasive notion that men (particularly single men) don’t want to be, can’t be and shouldn’t be parents.
But despite the indifference or outright hostility of government agencies, courts and society generally, there are people and a few institutions that support single fathers. They understand the value of fathers and go to bat for them in a variety of ways. As countless people and publications have made clear, everyone – fathers, mothers, children and society generally – does better when fathers are connected to their children. This article strikes a small blow for that worthy cause and describes initiatives in the Pittsburgh area that do too.
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