Major Domestic Violence Organization Acknowledges Key Truths About Men, Women & DV
Here's a fascinating piece on DV (San Luis Obispo Tribune, 7/30/09). Believe it or not, it actually gives accurate representations of facts relating to male victims of domestic violence. If that's not astonishing enough, it quotes two spokespeople for the National Domestic Violence Hotline on issues relating to male victims. What's remarkable about that is that the NDVH has always stayed pretty close to the feminist/DV industry line that all victims are women and all perpetrators are men.
For example, here's the NDVH website. Notice that it's a helpline for "domestic violence," but if you want to know whether you're a victim, "violence" all of a sudden becomes "abuse." And there are 15 sets of things that can constitute "abuse," but only one of them is physical violence.
That's absolutely standard procedure on sites like the NDVH's. There's a seamless and (the organization hopes) unnoticed transition from violence to abuse which miraculously consists almost not at all of actual violence. Thus is the definition of "violence" expanded beyond all recognition. Thus is the number of victims increased accordingly. Thus is the funding for "domestic violence" programs, shelters, etc. also increased. And the beat goes on.
So it's of considerable surprise that NDVH spokespeople are, to their credit, saying things like "Many male victims/survivors do not report or discuss the abuse against them." That's in response to the relatively low numbers of male victims who call the helpline. Of course she doesn't mention the fact that it takes a fairly sophisticated reader of the NDVH website to glean the information that men as well as women can get help there.
But the San Luis Obispo Tribune article is a good one. How many articles on DV say something like this?
Of the men living with abusive women, most do not report incidents of abuse to police unless the injury is significant enough to result in emergency medical care. The primary reason for non-reporting is shame. Because of this trend, scientific studies by a number of renowned universities and social agencies, and governmental departments such as the Department of Justice, uncover a better picture of this victim group than police and court records.
Or this?
Studies show that men are more likely to be hit with an object or stabbed while women are more likely to be hit with a fist, kicked or shot. While abused men remain in the relationship for many reasons, the top three reasons, according to the Department of Justice report are:
1. Protecting their children.
Fearing the courts will automatically give custody to the mother, the father worries that his children will be abused if they leave the family home.
2. Assuming blame.
In this situation, men buy into the woman's reasons for delivering abuse rather than recognizing the abuse is unreasonable. This trait is common among both women and men.
3. Dependency.
The man is dependent on the woman for financial, social, or emotional support and fears the loss of such if he leaves the relationship. This trait, too, is shared between women and men suffering abuse.
It's almost enough to make you believe in miracles. To let the editors know your thoughts on Pam Baker's article, you can write to letters@thetribunenews.com.
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